Life in the fast lane or treading water? | Arthritis Information

 

My dream home fell through.  Could not get loan for seller's price.  We are going to Oregon tomorrow.  I cannot tell you how worn out I am but we have time limits as to when my disability runs out.  I need to look like I have an income until I can get an income

I am thinking about you and hoping all works out with your new place.  I have not read much about what you are up to but sounds like you are moving or have moved.  I pray all is well soon and your eneregy improves.  I totally understand about the energy.  It takes nothing for me to loose my energy.  Today I spent the day resting because of exhauston from having grandkids over and taking care of other things for my elderly mom and dad.  My husband says "you need to find out why you get so tired".  My answer to him is "Duh" I have RA and that's what happens when you don't get enough rest and sometimes when you do.  Am I right????????????

Have a Blessed and Restful Week-end

Rocxy

Oh Roxy, I'm so sorry to hear the house really did fall through. Kept hoping for a miracle for you. You're coping with far too much. I don't know how you're doing it. One step at a time. Hope that you find another dream house soon. Somehow things will work out for you and these nightmare days will be over.

And Rocxy, hope you get some much deserved rest. You sound exhausted too.

 

Roxy~Honey I so know how you feel. The house we'd hoped to buy earlier this spring fell through because our morgage company was making outradgous demands. They didn't say we couldn't get it....they just made terms we didn't feel we're in our best interest long term. We only had 30 days left on our lease and then we would have to resign for another year which we did not want to do.

The home we eventually bought kind of came out of no where. Actual; it didn't come out of no where. I truely believe it is where we were meant to be and the good Lord had a plan for us all along. We we finally decided to go ahead with this one; it took two weeks and it was ours.

Sometimes things don't go as planned because God has a different plan for your life. Maybe you and Kelsey were meant to spend a few weeks with your family so that they could once again come to love and understand her like you and Brett are doing? Maybe that beautiful house with all the stairs isn't as perfect as you'd thought. Maybe, just maybe the good Lord has a better place just waiting for you.

I know it's frustrating.....but don't loose faith. Don't give up. Just take things one day at a time and be willing to accept God's plan for you and your family. Sometimes in life the things that you think are the worst situation that could ever happen turn out the be a blessing that totally changes your life.

I'll continue to keep you all close to my heart and in my daily prayers. We miss seeing you on a regular basis. Take care of yourself. We'll be here when you need us.

Stay strong sister. Good things are right around the corner for all of you. 

Lovie, you stole my thunder!! (LOL)  I was going to say the same thing.  It is my experience that I don't always get what I want but I always get what I need and I am not the best judge of which is which most of the time.

Frankly I thought you were taking on way too much, Roxy, and perhaps this is God's way of telling you to slow down and take care of the things that are most necessary first.  I mean think about it.  Your employment seriously under question and your disability running out, Brett not employed, Kelsey at home, Brett's son coming soon, RA out of control, and buying a new house.  As you said one day at a time...and more importantly keep it simple.

Jeanne

Roxy, so sad to see it fall through.

Okay, it's time to restrategize your situation. It may be because of your disability and Kelsey's that you might qualify for some kind of federal housing especially since Brett isn't working yet either.

Go to www.hud.gov.

Also, go the city web site of where you want to live. A lot of times, cities will put their housing programs online. It's worth checking out.

The other thing I would do is make a list of absolute must haves for your new home. Your new home is there, it is waiting. You just have to find it.

The city I live in has apartment (yeah, not necessarily the best, but it depend on where you live and it might be better than living with family for very long). Then, they have a program that helps you get into housing based on your situation with grants, etc. You definitely should qualify since you have Kelsey, have a disability yourself, don't have a home any more, etc.

Besides, sometimes smaller towns have more connecitions. If I was looking in a small town, there's two places I would go. The local cafe where most people hang out and a church you might like. Then let everyone know that you are looking for a new home, but you need to find something affordable. Use your own instincts as how much detail to go in. Then, let the small town word get around.

There's hope. All those stairs had me really worried, even as beautiful as the home was. But those were nasty people you were dealing with.

Just don't give up.

Deanna38956.6417824074Roxy, I'm sorry. Roxy,
I feel for you as it's hard to let go a dream but maybe it's for the best. Quite frankly, I was worry about you with all of those stairs. I KNOW that there's just the perfect house waiting for you and that other house wasn't it.
Please don't resent Brett and Kelsey for spending time together. It's good for them as they need to connect. There's a way that you could go along with them. Think of using a scooter. Think of all of the fun you could have on that thing. Our local drug store has them for sale.
Please consider what Deanna said as she has good info.
All of us will be pulling for you. I will keep you in my prayers and send good thoughts your way.


   Marisa

Hi Roxy.. Darn, this is a real bummer!! But my theory has always been, everything happens for a reason. Maybe that house would have become a bit to much for you to take care of. Everything will fall in place for you all. I'm glad that Kelsey is doing well.

Marisa has a great idea about the scooter. And as  always, our Deanna has great advice.

You hang in there girl!! It all will work out for you.

Take care, Trisha

Roxy-I am so sorry to hear about your house and all
the things you are going through. They say that job
changes and moving are 2 of the most stressful
things in life, and you are going through both!

I do believe that as others said, it must not have
been the Lord's plan for you....which means there is
something better right around the corner. There was
a reason you guys found that home. To get you
looking, thinking of moving to oregon, something.

Keep on going, which I know you will, but also, try to
get rest....and are you eathing healthy?

I remember that years ago I was going through
some very stressful events and one night the Lord
gave me a dream that really helped. I dreamed I
was standing on a beach watching the wave of the
ocean, feeling very peaceful. Then all of the sudden
the waves become really big...much taller than me. I
was paralyzed with fear and knew I was going to
drown. Then the Lord reached out His had from
heaven and lifted me up from the waves. He told me
to always keep my eyes looking up, focusing on Him,
and no wave will be large enough to overpower me.

Also, this may sound strange, but if you have a
chance, just pick up the Bible and read. God's word
always brings peace.

Let us know how things gol

Love,
Tara
Hi my friends, We have made an offer on another house closer to my family.
It is one story, not my dream house as it is newer but it is very wooded, near
a river, and will appreciate as it is in a nice neighborhood. We will know
tonight if they accept the offer.   It is an excellent offer. I have been looking
at
houses daily and my ra has really gotten bad. I am just hoping the whole
thing is over with. This is a nice house and the master bedroom has a
fireplace, huge walk in closet and picture window. One story - very
handicap accessible    So I get to rest today. Brett went back without
me yesterday. Exhausted. Thank you all for your kind words and support.
What a tough time ! We are hoping to close Oct. 1. I will visit more after a
day of rest. Deanna, pm your number. Did not bring my book and miss
talking. LOVE TO ALL.Hi Roxy, I just received this email from a very good friend and it sounds like it might  make you think about your life and challenges.  I actually knew these things, but sometimes we forget. 
Soory, I do not know how to reduce the size of this but on second thought it does get your attention. 
Wishing you all the best Roxy and then some..

CHRISTIAN  WAYS  TO REDUCE  STRESS  


An Angel says, "Never borrow from the future. If you worry  about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn't happen, you have worried in  vain. Even if it d oes happen, you have to worry twice."

1. Pray  

2. Go to bed on time.

3. Get up on time so you can start  the day unrushed.

4. Say No to projects that won't fit into your  time schedule, or that will compromise your mental health.
-
5.  Delegate tasks to capable others.

6. Simplify and unclutter your  life.

7. Less is more. (Although one is often not enough, two are  often too many.)

8. Allow extra time to do things and to get to  places.

9. Pace yourself. Spread out big changes and difficult  projects over time; don't lump the hard things all together.

10.  Take one day at a time.

11. Separate worries  from concerns. If a  situation is a concern, find out what God would have you do and let go  of the anxiety. If you can't do anything about a situation, forget  it.

12. Live within your budget; don't use credit cards for  ordinary purchases.

13. Have backups; an extra car key in your  wallet, an extra house key buried in the garden, extra stamps, etc.  

14. K.M.S. (Keep Mouth Shut). This single piece of advice can  prevent an enormous amount of trouble.

15.  Do something for the Kid in You everyday.

16. Carry a Bible with  you to read while waiting in line.

17. Get enough  rest.

18.  Eat right.

19. Get organized so everything has its place.  

20. Listen to a tape while driving that can help improve you r  quality of life.

21. Write down thoughts and inspirations.  

22. Every day, find time to be alone.

23. Having problems?  Talk to God on the spot. Try to nip small problems in the bud. Don't wait  until it's time to go to bed to try and pray.

24. Make friends  with Godly people.

25. Keep a folder of favorite scriptures on  hand.

26. Remember that the shortest bridge between despair and  hope is often a good "Thank you Jesus."

27. Laugh.

28.  Laugh some more!

29. Take your work seriously, but not yourself at  all.

30. Develop a forgiving attitude (most people are doing the  best they can).

31. Be kind to unkind people (they probably need  it the most).

32. Sit on your ego.

33. Talk less; listen  more.

34. Slow down.

35. Remind yourself that you are not  the general manager of the universe.

36 . Every night before bed,  think of one thing you're grateful for that you've never been grateful for  before. GOD HAS A  WAY OF TURNING THINGS AROUND FOR YOU. "If God  is for us, who can be against us?" (Romans 8:31)  



That is such a good reminder. All things I know and understand but
definitely do not do unless reminded or I learn the hard way. Thanks.

Update - God is working for me. Sellers accepted offer on house I just told
you about AND we were just informed we are getting a formal offer on our
property in California tomorrow.

God works in mysterious ways    Slowing down. Can you feel it. I am
slowwwwing down and it feels good. I AM GRATEFUL.    Thanks Fiona. It is good to hear from all of you. Tara, How are you
doing?
Lovie - Are you loving your new house? Toni - You always have good
advice. Printing out your latest to post on my fridge!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   Deanna -
you are so wonderful for all boards - you put so much
thought and love in all your posts. Marisa, good idea but I still have a
hard
time dealin with scooter- I am fifty and want to be 30 Grdnldy - I am
on
the other side of it, I sincerely believe I have done what NEEDED to be
done
for our family - I KNOW it sounds crazyTrisha and Jeannie
and Fiona - That was just a few days I was pouting over not being able to
go
anywhere w/Brett and Kelsey. I would not have it any other way. Brett is
wonderful to Kelsey and I am so glad she has someone she can enjoy her
newfound freedom with. I just can't wait until I can go out and play with
her
and Brett. Last butnot least - ROCXY - Do you really spell your name like
that ??????????????? LOL
The good news is this IS Brett's dreamhouse and I like it more
and more everyday. Trying to relax and be grateful. I miss you all. roxy38960.3911921296Roxy, I'm glad things are falling into place.  I remember how stressful the whole process is.  When we placed an offer on our house, (over 20 years ago) I went into early labor and my son was born with pneumonia and had to be transferred to a hospital an hour away from our home.   At the same time, the seller tried to put unreasonable demands on us, hoping we would back out, since he had another buyer he could sell to without paying the realtors commission (his contract with the realtor had run out.)  The seller was a jerk, and my husband had to take over handling everything related to the purchase, because all I could focus on was my sick baby.  Thankfully everything with my son and the house turned out fine.  I'm sure it will all turn out wonderfully for you and your family also!

Life changes are always stressful and difficult, even if they are wonderful, positive changes.  And when you pile a bunch of them on top of each other, you can feel crushed by the weight.  Shift anything you can to others to handle.

Think of how nice it will be to be in a newer house, which will require less maintenance and costly repairs.  Older homes have wonderful charm, but often hidden problems.  I hope you can turn this house into the HOME you dream of, and have a blast decorating and designing it.

Best wishes to you!
Thanks Honey. I am liking it more and more. I have asked Crunchy if she
can post pics of it on her site so I can show it to you all. It has so much
potential and the best news is there is a place we can put the hot tub,
right
out the master bedroom    It also has lots of trees but the
neighborhood is a bit snobby. I like more of an eclectic neighborhood. I
am excited for this one to happen. I learned from the last horrible
experience ! We may never get our earnest money back because seller is
contesting it and the legal process is just exhausting. It was never our
circumstance -
why the loan would not go through, it was ALWAYS the house. Nothing
like it, the bed and breakfast floor plan, a buried oil tank, no older homes
in neighborhood. YADA YADA but so depressing as we tried so hard. We
put over 00 in that nightmare experience.

Thank God for family. My sis in law got a summer seasonal position with
Fish and Game - she is also a biology graduate so the eats are not what I
am used to. I did not realize how spoiled we have been on past visits.
With
my sweet bro - it is spaghetti every night. I wish I felt well enough to
shop and cook. I am worn. I can barely walk
and have absolutely no energy left.

I eat whatever there is - no
complaints and my sweet Kelsey - she has been more taking care of me
than me taking care of her. By the way - her incontinence has all but
stopped since we took her to doctor for prescription. What a relief for us
and her. I have no doubt - it was time for Kelsey to come home. It is sad
as she is so insecure around my family. This is a very brainy household
that love to talk current events, politics and philosophy. Poor baby,
she tells me how sad and insecure it makes her to try to fit in and I have
to constantly tell her how
smart she is but she got a horrible disease and life is only going to get
better. My family is very sweet to her but they do not know how to talk to
her and pretty much ignore her.

I am sure blessed by Brett. She lights up
when he calls and he always asks to talk to her. I have so many blessings
and I am counting them. This board is one.    

The pred. and percocet
make it hard to think so I hope this is coherent. My little finger looks
dislocated from the dogs playing to rough on me. Four big dogs in this
house. OK Stop
rambling Roxroxy38960.6482175926rambling, maybe, but happy? definitely. this has been a long, long haul from some of your posts back in april & may. I think this time you are where you need to be.

I don't understand sellers who suck. too much bad karma.
Roxy, you're box is full. I'm going to try you at racrunchy's site.
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