Need to be reassured | Arthritis Information

I am having a sad day. We just went down to see our house with family.
Eight all together. Everyone loved the house but there is so much to do.
Brett will be working out of town again. My ra is so much worse. I cannot
get out of a chair without help and walking is very painful. I want to work
so
bad so we can work on that house and no one thinks I can    The
house
has so much potential but no place to have family visit, very small
livingroom.
We want to add a room that we can use for holidays etc. It would be so
easy
if I could work.      We have had Colton and I am the luckiest step mom
in the world. I adore that kid and we are buddies but until we can expand
the house, his room is so small he will not be able to have a place for him
and friends to hang out. It is a gorgeous yard but the other house had
elevated flower beds. If I get on the ground now, I can't get back up. My
ra has got to get better. It is so much worse. This disease is so
frustrating.   I thought I WAS getting better. There is a health club less
than a mile from the house in escrow. I pray I can get back in shape. I
am
embarressed and unhappy laying around. Everything hurts and my hip, I
hold it whenever I walk as it feels like it is dislocated even though I know
it is not. I have to hold it in place.

VENT VENT VENT.   Today I am really hating RA.

Roxy, Sweetie, my heart is breaking for you. From you words, I can really feel your pain.

It really is horrible to have RA. In your heart you feel you should be able to do all the things that you've always been able to do so easily. Our bodies have just betrayed us, it seems. But I agree with Fiona...we really have to learn to celebrate what we have and what we CAN do.

I am having a hard time accepting that myself right now, but it's what we have, honey, so we have to make to best of it. Just remember, you are together. Did you say Brett will be working out of town again? Is the new house in Oregon or CA?

I have a suggestion about the gardening. It hasn't helped me since I had spinal fusion last year and still have trouble bending at all, but hopefully, it will help you. Have you seen the small gardening wagons, with room to carry your supplies and tools? Very light and when you get where you want to work, you can fold down top and sit on it to garden. It really helped me before my surgery.

Also, with Colton and his friends, kids will always finds a place to kick back. If not his room, maybe the kitchen or yard or garage. They can be pretty resourceful.

My thoughts and prayers are with you. Hope your doc finds something to help you feel much, much better!

Gentle hugs,

Nini

Roxy, You have the move behind you and you survived it. Take it a day at a time making your health your top priority. Maybe make a priortized list of all the things you want to do to the house to improve it and just do a little bit each day. Even ten minutes work will lift your spirits. I have found that container gardens really work for me. Maybe you could just start with one big pot so you could do some gardening which I know you love to do. Who cares if it takes a long time to finish all the projects you have in mind. It will give you something to look forward to. This RA makes us so depressed sometimes that it's hard to see the light from the trees. I think you've been through so much lately that you are a little down. I also believe that with your positive spirit and family behind you things are going to get better. You are in my prayers.

Roxy, I don't know if you remember me....I posted nearly a year ago, soon after being diagnosed with RA. I am hoping and praying you are feeling better soon. I can totally relate with the hip pain. I'll have to read back through some posts to see what meds and all you are on. Hang in there. Love and gentle hugs, Juliah

SORRY GUYS. I just got depresses when we looked at the house talking
about it's potential I REALLY got depressed. Took a nap and I feel better.
Tomorrow is another day...............

Roxy, glad to hear you're feeling more hopeful. Sleep - the best drug in the world! (but don't take away my other drugs - I want them too!) Your home will be wonderful. It will take time to make it all work, but you will eventually. Little by little. And it will be all the more special because you'll have done it yourselves.

I spent 4 months repainting the dining room last winter/spring - let's just say the room had lots of 'surface issues'! But now whenever I look at it, I'm so pleased. Sure it took forever and I didn't do much at any one time, but it's done. The rest of the house needs painting and redecorating too. It's my 10 year plan.

Hope you can find the energy to enjoy doing the bits of work when you can. Make yourself a nice cozy place where you can rest and nest.

Thanks Grdnldy, Linda, Nini and Fiona - Juliah - IT IS SO GOOD TO HEAR
FROM YOU!!!! I hope you stay in touch. I think I am having major mood
swings because I am back on pred., so many responsibilities and nothing
is for sure yet - still in escrow after last escrow from hell - staying with
my brother but have to go home to our house of boxes tomorrow - I am
only functioning on pain pills and pred. I hate both. Trying to get
services set up for my daughter and stepson in school when we move.
Brett is working his butt off and a grouch. So excuse my venting. I want
to get off these pills and get back to exercise and sleep. I have not been
able to sleep as I worry too much. Do you guys know when your ra gets
really bad - it is scary because you don't know if you are going to get
better???????? My family, as wonderful as they are - are reinforcing they
don't think I am going to get better as they have not seen me this bad but
they don't understand the nature of the ra beast. I miss your gentle hugs
Juliah and I am so grateful that I can come here in dump my sometimes
irrational, always impatient and frustrated emotions. Not looking forward
to nine hour drive tomorrow to a house of boxes and more days of
constant phone calls. House closes Oct. 3. Then I can focus on my
health more and I will for sure.Gosh Roxy, this emotional roller coaster ride has to end before you can get your life together and tame the RA monster. I have never been in such a turmoil, so I really can't offer too much advice. I guess you just have to ride this out until you can get everything settled and get some much needed rest. I wish we all could gather there to help you Roxy. Okay gang, let's do it! I will bring a couple of kegs of beer and we will start from there! OK with you Roxy?

Sending hugs,
Luv, N&T Roxy, thanks for filling me in on what has been happening with you. I am so sorry you've been having such a hard time with everything, especially your health issues. Your sleep issues concern me, have you talked to your doctor? If you've tried everything else, perhaps taking some short-term sleeping aids may help? I will take a flexeril (muscle relaxor) every once in awhile if I'm having sleep issues and it helps. Sometimes I have trouble sleeping due to pain, other times it is due to emotional stuff like worrying. At any rate, when you are not well rested, it can really wreak havoc on your emotions and health. I hope your 9-hour car ride goes well. I know how difficult it is to sit in the car that long. It's good to connect with you again. I don't get online as much as I used to, as it is hard for me to sit here at the computer. Take care of yourself my dear. Love and gentle hugs, Juliah   Roxy, after reading all of the posts from everyone, there's not to much more to say expect that, take it one little step at a time. Celebrate each step and soon you will be on top of that mountain.
   Have been praying for you and have ask my gardian angel to look out for you too.

   Sending you a mile of hugs and good vibes,

   Marisa

I always come here for support and you always there for me. I promise, when we get in this house - IF we get in this house - R and R for me. There is no doubt I have pushed my limits. We drove five hours and I just could not take it anymore. We are at a Motel 8 - Free wireless - woooooooooo hooooooooooo. Anyway, I spent quite some time in the jacuzzi - I tried to swim but the water is not warm enough - hurts my joints. It is 8 pm and I hope to not leave too early. Then back to packing MORE.

It got crazy for Brett as I was supposed to drive home with Kelsey. Brett had already gone home to do some business. My niece's car broke down and it gave me an opportunity to do something for my family. My brother has ALWAYS been there for me. So I asked Brett to drive our other car all the way back up so my niece can use our other car to go to college, 45 miles each way, until she can get a car of her own. Now we have one car but I don't get out much.

Kelsey has been a real trooper on this trip and my family was wonderful except for a few comments from my brother. He just doesn't understand. On one hand he said there is no way I am able to work and then the next day he says he thinks I can push through the pain more. Family - you got to love them but they sure know how to push your buttons. But I am very excited once we move here. My family gets together monthly up here and now we will be a part of that. I also have a six month old great nephew that I got to babysit - it was bliss. I just love babies and puppies

Also I got to meet more of Brett's family in Oregon. I really liked them. That is what this whole thing is about. FAMILY. I need them now and it is a lot of work to make this happen but I don't know where my health is going - I want to be closer to them. It is also good for Kelsey. I am concerned about my marriage but I think that happens in most marriages. We are so tired and making so many big decisions - Brett feels really distant. I feel like I am just dragging him along but I need to be closer to my family. I trust them and I have never been without my own income since I was a teenager. I just got my last disability check - feeling very insecure and I just don't have the patience to wait in a place that only reminds me of who I was pre-ra. So this is my mid life identity crisis adventure - I guess you could say. I still pray - as I am sure we all do - that my ra improves so I can return to work.

Anyway, wish we could afford to stay at this motel for a week. It feels great to be away from all of it for now. Have to return to my house of boxes and saying good bye to the people and places I have lived with and loved for seventeen years.

Thanks for being there. You are my life raft in a sea of unknowns. LOVE

roxy38964.8472222222Hey Roxy, sorry to hear you are still having so much trouble. Arent you still on the Enbrel?? Stress is such a big factor but what is going on with your meds?

Roxy,

You know I'm thinking about you all the time. You are on the rapids now. Soon, the calm waters will come and you will get to feeling better.