Julia,
I'm sorry to hear that you're having some issues that look like perimenopause. You mentioned your doctor wanted to put you on a progesterone IUD. I'm not familiar with any implanted progesterone devices. Important question: Do you know whether he wanted to put you on natural progesterone (made from a plant) or synthetic progestin (made from a horse)?
While I am not a doctor, I do a lot of reading, have been diagnosed with RA for 17 years and have some experience with hormone related issues. Three years ago I skipped three periods within five months at the age of 28 and was very concerned, though my doctors at first acted blasé about it, and said that that was not dangerous. Because I was persistent, however, my hormones were tested, revealing that my estrogen was quite high compared to my progesterone which was at 17 (very low) and that's what I was skipping periods -- because I wasn't ovulating. I had also gained 12 pounds very quickly, was moody and hot all the time. I did not feel like myself!
I was seeing a physician who focused on alternative remedies and he recommended progesterone cream, which is made from a wild yam (can you believe a tuber could be so marvelous?!) and has been tested to be quite safe and effective. Within a day and a half, I started a period and have not had trouble with my periods since. It also resolved my photosensitivity allergy, which felt like a miracle.
You might talk with your doctor or read more about taking this cream, which I had made for me in a compounding pharmacy per my doctor's prescription. It's also available at natural health stores over-the-counter. Depending on your age and the severity of your symptoms you might only need a speck of the stuff for it to have an effect on you -- or you might need more. You might start conservatively and see what happens.
Progesterone can eliminate or reduce the negative things are associated with perimenopause, such as weight gain, irritability, bone loss, skin problems, menstrual irregularity. It can also improve your joint pain and inflammation, as it did for my 60-year-old mother. In fact some studies have shown that it's more effective in building new bone mass, even in women in their 60s, than even prescription osteoporosis therapies.
If you try this therapy, you might want to have your hormones tested once a year or so to see how you're doing. You get in trouble when you're estrogen outpaces your progesterone. That puts you at higher risk for estrogen-related cancers. You want all of your hormones ideally to be in balance.
Best wishes! - bsprt