Depression or steroids | Arthritis Information

 

I'm really struggling at the moment.  I have had 5 miscarriages which no doctor can explain.  I started having ra symptoms last summer while undergoing fertility treatments.  I had all the joint pain and swelling along with uveititis.  They blamed it on the fertility drugs.

Got pregnant last Sept, swelling got worse, my symptoms did not go into remission-they blamed it on being pregnant with twins.  I lost those twins in December at 12.5 weeks.  Everything got really bad than.

Its now 9-10 months later, they have settled on a dx of serum negative ra.  I've been on placquenil since Jan, tried a few of the others and they made me sick.  I'm also now on weekly humira injections.  I gave in and started steroids this past spring but was on  relatively low dose of 7.5mg.  Two weeks ago, I started having another really bad flare.  I had to go up to 30mg of prednisone. I'm down to 25mg but still really flaring.  So much so, its very hard to type.  I have lidoderm pain patches on both hands and they are wrapped, my fingers look misformed and are so swollen.

The last few days, I just can't deal with anything.  I'm very irritable and can't stop crying.  I long for the babies I will never have.  I'm having awful nightmares and not sleeping well.  I am on antidepressants and sleeping pills.  Is this mental insanity part of the flare?  A deeper depression setting in?  Or is it the steroids?

 

 

 

 

I am so sorry. Please consider adopting a kid who really needs a family as bad as you need a child to love.

I think 30 mg of pred is making you nutZ. It for sure makes me nutZ. The one good thing about being nutZ from pred is that when you lower the dose (or finish the 'burst') you get over being nutZ.

The rheumy said I can try to decrease by 5mg every three days but the swelling isn't gong away so I'm not sure if I should decrease or not.  Afraid if I don't I'm going to snap at someone and if I do, I'm going to blow up like the good year blimp from the swelling!Michele,
Your depression could be a combination of things. Many
people with chronic illnesses like RA suffer from depression at
one time or another. Having to stop doing things you love
because you hurt, financial strain, and the disease and all the
worry that comes with it all contribute to this depression.
Prednisone can also add to your feelings of depression. When I
am on it, I get severe mood swings, cry all the time, cannot
sleep, and I focus on all the bad things. It makes me feel like a
shell of myself. You should definitely discuss all of this with
your doctor. I hope that you get to feeling better soon.

Michele,

I'm so very sorry about the losses you've endured. My heart goes out to you. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

There is so much good advice on this board. The people here have helped me tremendously.

Michelle,

Look for a program in your area that's a sort of foster care program. I don't know what they call it, but they have it here. It's for foster kids that will never go back to their families, they place them in "long tem homes" and most of them eventually get adopted by the foster parents, it's something that you have to apply for, but you don't pay until the adoption, and even then it's not a large ammount. You actually recieve funds to care for their foster kids. The only bad thing to keep in mind is that the foster system is a little.....weird....and the kids can come and go however the foster service sees fit. It can be really sad. Or really happy. It's an idea. I knew a couple that did that, as well as basic foster care. They had kids coming and going every other week...and yet they've adopted 4 kids!!!! From BIRTH none-the-less. It can happen.

Katie that is a wonderful idea!

My aunt fostered a kid. Tina came to our family when she was about 4 years old, I was about 8. She stayed with my aunt until she went to college. She has always called my aunt Mom. I had forgotten that Tina was a foster/adoption until Katie reminded me. I always have thought of her as my cousin.

Michele, I'm sorry for your losses. It sounds like you're on a very tough stretch of road. I hope you're getting grief counseling/support. If time, location or finances are a problem there are grief forums online. http://www.hovforum.ipbhost.com/ This is a Hospice site, moderated by bereavement counselors.

I lost my father recently (July 31) and for a month or so I ran on pure adrenaline. The crash came just before labor day. I woke up in a incredible flare, every joint - jaw to toes. I can't take steroids because I'm also bipolar.(Steroids make me crazyx2.

Talking (and typing

It is not for nothing that someone called pred "Witch in a Bottle".  it doesn't have quite that effect on me but I do tend to get kinda more assertive 

 I have not been in the situation you are in but you have been given some good tips by others and I do hope that you will be able to find some solution soon. 

Lorraine

 

Thank you too all you replied.  I'm still very up and down at the moment.  I did back down to 25mg on the prednisone but I still feel that crazy feeling and I'm just so damn pissy I can hardly stand myself!

My flare is starting to very slowly calm, it went from everything screaming at moc 10 to 3/4 of things screaming at moc 8.  I guess its going to take some time to get this one settled down.

I have thought a lot about foster care.  I believe myself to be too selfish though.  By that, I mean if someone gave me a child to care for, there would be no way I could ever give the child back.  We do have a social service program here that occasionally they do have babies/young children that go straight up for adoption and since its through the state, its just legal fee's and the up front cost of the home study and other paper work. 

Right now, I don't feel that I am healthy enough to raise a child the way a child deserves to be raised.  I've only had ra for about a year, dx less than that and I'm still trying to learn what my capabilities will be.  I'm hoping on day in the not so far off future, my dream of having a child will come true.  Right now, in the midst of this flare, I can't see past getting through the afternoon.
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