MAD at the world | Arthritis Information

I need someone to snap me out of my pity party. I'm pissed at the world and I can't seem to get over it. I've been diagnosed only a month, but I'm a strong person, a go getter, the type that heads on a problem, finds a solution and goes with it.

I have been in such a funk since the dx. I do think some of it is the Pred, but for the most part, I'm just mad at everyone and everything.

Someone snap me out of this

Seriously, anyone have any thoughts. I know it is a process I need to work thru, but dang, I'm tired of being around myself!

Phatgirl2

Find an outlet and vent!! Just don't do anything illegal or hurt anyone!! lol I like to turn up the music really loud and sing along. Of course I only do this when no one is around cuz I don't want to scare anyone. Or scream !! I'm serious, it makes me feel better. Something about getting the heart pounding and blood pumping makes it all better!

Or sleep..... when I get in that mood... I have to be alone, or watch out... I think it's from the mtx for me, but who knows... I know it's not my time of month!! Got rid of that problem years ago when I had a hysterectomy. So... don't feel like you are alone here... many of us vent...vent... vent!!! vickilee39015.6423263889

Vent for years... really, that is what works. It is really hard to accept. I think I went for denial and total fear first. I took some drives out to the middle of nowhere and just screamed in my car. That helps.

Talking to friends can help if they are understanding. But it usually takes times to find those.

I still have trouble accepting it, dealing with it. I'll have a good day and think, "Oh, I'm finally getting better." Next day, I'm done and out because I overdid it in my enthusiasm to live a full life.

Frankly, I think the anger is a good thing. You are trying to come to terms with it. You are on here looking for support. You are doing positive, active things to cope.

Writing helps me, singing sometimes.

This is not a fun disease and no one really told me what I was up against when I first started having symptoms. For a long time, they didn't even call it RA. First, it was Vasculitis. They knew mine was life threatening. There was no question that I had to be treated immediately and seriously. That scared the hell out of me. After that, the other diagnosis that came afterwards seemed more minor.

But they weren't. I think this is the year that I have finally come to accept that I have RA. Six years, it takes me a while to get a clue.

So don't beat yourself up over being a bit angry.

I agree...get active! Especially now while you still can. Don't sit around and lose your mobility! If you're worried about trying something new, ask your doc if it's a good RA type activity. :)

And for the love of god, don't stop coming here. This place is AWESOME. :) I always feel....lighter after I've visited :)

Deanna,

Thank you so much for your words of kindness. I haven't really told a lot of people (except those close to me) because I think I was in denial too. I feel like a real complainer and think others will view me as weak. Which, is a bunch of crap, and I know that, but I guess I'm still dealing. I feel good one day and think I can take on the world and the next I'm mad at everyone around. I think it is a natural path that I'm taking, it just sucks.

This is the best board I have found by far. Everyone here really cares for one another and I felt that by the first post. I feel blessed that I found you guys. Not only are you a wealth of information, but you are a great source of strength and compassion for many!

Phatgirl2

This is a big life changing dx. Not a lot different than a divorce or death of friend or family. Definitely takes some getting used to it.

I came down with RA my JR year in college. Finally got help 4 years later at age 25. I am 52. I have been seeing Rhuemies for 27 years. And because I am sero-negative I still ask my rhuemy if he is sure I have RA. He has gotten to the point where he shakes his head and rolls his eyes before he says 'Yes'.

I would rather have a new sprain or 6 every 3 days...chronic fatigue..and a 'sensitive bowel'. YUP I can still deny I have RA after 27 'official' years. So I don't see why you aren't allowed to be pissed off for a mere month.

When my Mom died I was 'mad' at everybody. Especially people that still had a mom. I was not ready to lose her at age 33. (Still hurts some). It took me 6 months to stop being angry about it.

All I'm saying is that you will work your way through the maze, with a good amout of repeating some of your foot work... you know back sliding.

Give yourself a break. Huggs to you.

Marian~I'm just like you! I'm "sero-negative" and I still ask my dr. if he's sure. LIke you're he's learned to just giggle and say "Yep....I wouldn't subject you to all this if I wasn't" But it never hurts to try; right?

After close to 13 years I just take it as it comes.....and over the last few years it seems to come and come and come; but you do eventually accept it and try to stop fighting the dx and do what you can to cope. It's not always easy. Even after all this time there are days were it's best to just leave me alone. BUT; you snap out of it quicker than you did in the beginning.

Being angry at the world won't help. It just makes everyone think you're a real bitch on top of having RA. Sometimes that's just something I deal with....and you will too.

Hang in there. It won't be this hard forever.

You guys are the best. I'm getting teared up

Phatgirl2

Phatgirl - I was never a complainer until RA. That is what AI is good for. We have plenty to complain about but trust me - I had the worse time coping with my diagnosis. I lost two jobs I loved, my retirement and my marriage is on the rocks. I rarely complain about my RA unless I have pushed myself too hard and I can't do anymore and I am being pushed to do more - sometimes I have to complain to get it through my daughter and Brett's head. It is like they do not even notice how crippled up I get. They are used to it now.

This place has been a lifesaver to me. There have been so many times I thought I would explode with grief and I came here and dumped and it is amazing. I would feel better.

RA is a tough diagnosis and being on pred. makes you sensitive anyway. You don't know what your RA future will be so make the best of the times when you can do things.

Today is the first day I feel like going in the pool. I have a pass. My livingroom is cozy and my daughter gets her meds today and my husband is working on his issues. Now it is my time. I am going to go to hot water therapy. Make time for yourself. You deserve it !!!!!! RA sux but you have to win the battle with it and not let it take your life away.

Believe it or not, I thought my life was over. I still grieve hiking but I have not given up on getting better. Stress really makes RA worse and I have been a stress monster for months. Now is my time to calm down and heal and I truly believe I will. I have accepted I will not be able to do the things I used to but I appreciate the things I can do more.

roxy39016.3636342593I am also so angry. I refused to take anti depressants and I can't take prednisone. It took me two months to start to take on e pill(Avara). I am still very depressed, especially since they tell you that you can have no red wine, that bites... I feel better when I am following a diet high in good omega fats... I want to let you know that you are not alone. This is a great place to come. It really is hard to deal with and I still can't believe that I have this. Your entire life changes. I have to destress, accept this or I will be stuck here and that would stink even more than this. I tell myself, think positive and plow through it, through the pain, and yes, I cry alot and find myself having lots of days and nights in my own pity party. My marriage is a disaster but I know he loves me and my kids(ages 2, 7 and 17) well, they need me. I have to try to fight it. I live differently though, I appreciate all the good people, the people who stop and show some compassion. Some are so clueless and you feel so rejected and worthless. Some people even think your faking. I swear they have no idea. We do though and your not alone... I hated the mxt. It didn't work for me, the Avara worked for a while, but not any more and it also makes hair fall out.... I am bumed out to have to switch(to Enbrel Sureclick) medicines again, because they all have there stupid side effects and all, but if I look on the positive side, I hear lots of people having good results with it and if I can stop this medicine that makes my hair fall out, I won't be bald... I know you are mad, but hang in there, hang on tight. I know I wanted to basically just end it, but my kids kept me going and this board too. I still hav ebad days and we all will, but one day soon, you'll have a better day and maybe even a really good day.
So look forward to that and you'll be encouraged at how much life you still got going on:)
Hugs!!!

Donna

Boy can I empathize with you! When I was diagnosed in '97, I thought my life was o-v-e-r! I was depressed....I cried all the time. I stopped being social because well meaning friends were constantly trying to "help" me by telling me about magic "herbal" solutions they heard about or read about. It seemed there was so much focus on my illness (It's so hard to hide it when you can't walk right, or do simple tasks). I always had people asking me "What did you do to yourself"? when they saw me limping, or wearing a brace on my wrist.

I found myself feeling less independent, which scared me to death, being a single mom and sole provider at the time of two very active children! I just suddenly felt..... old and worn out.

I had a terrible first rheumatologist who had the bedside manner of a doorknob. The first NSAID he put me on gave me a seizure after the third dose that had me in bed and unable to move for 36 hours!

Then I found a good rheumatologist who encouraged me to learn everything I could about my disease. She sent me to hand therapists who helped me learn new ways of doing simple things that would minimize damage to my hands...and most of all, she listened to me...and treated the whole "me", and not just my joints. Thanks to her, Enbrel, and my faith.... I have finally returned to what I feel is normal, and where I should be. I have more energy and less pain than I did back then. I think it's partly because my pain threshold has increased over time, and mostly because my disease is much better controled than it was.

Give yourself time. Allow yourself more time to do things you used to do without thinking....and don't be afraid to admit you need help. Simplify your life as much as you can....and when you have good days, know that you have a keener appreciation for them than people who have never experienced daily chronic pain.

This forum has made me feel less alone in my suffering...and has actually given me a sense of humor about it at times. I've learned much about medications, and other anecdotes to help in my daily living. You will too.

Keep your chin up....better days are ahead!