Not sure what to title this....I got my first migraine ever back in July, it lasted almost a week. I was having my period at the time which have been getting steadily worse since losing my twins last December. So, I decided to try the pill again.
I had taken ortho tricyclen for years, and several others before that. All in all, I was on the pill for 18 years. So, figured since we have given up on trying for a baby right now, I'd go back on the pill so I wouldn't have to deal with my periods. I piggy back the pills and have a period every 3-4 months or so.
When I had the migraines this past summer, I really didn't know what they were at the time. After starting the pill again, Yasmin this time, I went about 7 weeks and had break though bleeding so thought I'd stop the pill and have a period. Got the migraines again. This happened again about 6 weeks ago. That time I went to the doctor and she said they were estrogen withdrawal migraines and gave me relpax to take. I continued to have the migraines for a another few days despite the replax until I started my pills again.
Fast forward another 6 weeks and I've got the migraines again. I felt it yesterday and drank a coke and took the relpax and started to feel better. Woke up this am and couldn't move it hurt so bad. Took another relpax and it helped a little but it hasn't gone yet.
I haven't stopped the birth control pills. Its been about 6 weeks since my last period, can my hormones be changing even though I'm on a monophonic pill?
I did my second shot of mtx this past Friday, can that trigger migraines?
As I was laying on the couch with the ice pack on my head this morning waiting for the relpax to kick in, I overheard my hubby on the phone. I don't know who he was talking to but I heard him talking about my health (or lack there of!) and he said its been the single most difficult thing for him to deal with. he even started taking an anti-depressant a couple of months ago. I felt so guilty. I feel bad enough already, being sick, how do you deal with the pain you cause your loved ones because of your illness?
I'm tired of being sick and tired. I'm tired of hurting and hurting the people around me. Sometimes I think it would be so much easier to just go to sleep and not wake up. I don't honestly think I'm suicidal but I just don't know how much more I can take. Any coping idea's?
Please try not to feel guilty. This disease and the other ones we get from it are so totally out of our control. I would bet that all of us here wish we did not have any of them and we would all be healthy. For Dan and I personally, we deal with my illness by talking about it a lot and education about it. Since he works 2nd shift, he is able to go to doc appts. with me in the mornings. That way he knows what is going on and doesn't worry so much. Dan has explained to me that much of his guilt and anxiety about my health stems from feeling that he has the need to make sure that everyone he loves is happy and healthy. He says it's a "man thing" to feel that way. The hunter, gatherer, protector type of thing. I can't tell you the number of times he has cried out of frustration over the lack of being able to do anything for me to get me better. Maybe that is what your husband is feeling when he says that this is the single most difficult thing for him to deal with. Just because there is nothing he can do and it kills him to see you hurting and sick.
We cope by talking about it when one of us is feeling down. Most of the time there is nothing either one of us can do about it but it sure feels good to get all those feelings out and to hear someone say I'm sorry you are having a hard time....I love you....we will make it together...etc.
There have been times that I have missed the kids school functions because of my arthritis. I know this hurts them even tho me having arthritis is all they know. We hug, talk about their feelings towards me (which I always respect and accept no matter what they are), and when I feel better we go for a girlie night out. It hurts me to the bone to disappoint them and see them hurt and I cry a lot. I truly believe a good cry can help me feel better and think better.
I know how you feel about being sick and tired of being sick and tired. Being sick and tired sometimes is my reality and I had to learn to accept that and do the things I can do. I had to search very hard for the inner strength and will to accept this stupid disease and the limitations that come along with it. It wasn't easy and I still have frustration and anger over it. I often wonder if that will ever go away. Realizing I was not alone in what I was feeling helped a whole lot.
You are not alone in what you are feeling and what you are going thru right now. I have been there and sometimes still are there. Thankfully we have a wonderful bunch of people to turn to here that are understanding and know exactly how we feel.
I get severe headaches and mine wants me to go to the ER. But mine are wierd, like over the left eye and happen very rarely. I think it sounds like your husband just loves you so much. The people that love you the most would be devastated if you really checked out. When I was working, I would just mention it was one of my worse days. That way, if I was a bit quieter or grouchy, then they knew it wasn't any thing they did. That really helped. Migraines are the worst though. My old boss wouldn't even go in to work or would leave if they hit. Thanks Deanna, never thought about tmj connection...I see that specialist tomorrow, I'll be sure to ask him about it. I've never really mentioned them to the rheumy because the internist really thought they were estrogen withdrawal triggered but as I mentioned, I haven't stopped the pill so I guess that theory is out. I see the rheumy in two weeks and will talk to her about it. I've always had some medical issues but headaches have never been my "thing" until recently and man, they suck! I get the flashes of light, throw up, the whole nine yards.
I know my hubby loves me but I just can't help but to feel guilty. I try to encourage him to do things he likes, like play his guitar and go out with his friends. I just need to accept that having a chronic illness is hard on everyone, not just the "sick" person. He is usually really understanding and tries to help out, I just hate feeling like a burden. Poor guy doesn't even get "any"
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