Well its half past midnight, i should be sleeping but i am wide awake, fretting about tomorrow. Not as severe a day to deal with as a lot of you been through recently, but for me its big. My son is starting a new school. I know noone. I have to walk him there myself and go stand with all the other mums at the end of the day and pick him up. I am TERRIFIED
Its important for both billy and i that he goes to this school as its closer so he'll have more friends close to home and we can walk to and from together like we used to, when i can, bit of independence, but i really am panicking over it. The only person who would be available to come with me i will not ask! Last week she told me i couldn't keep screwing up other peoples lives just because i think i'm in pain! This because i couldn't make the 2hr car journey for my nephews birthday as i was in too much pain. Who is she? My mother. So i'm going on my own. both ends of the day. determined, but very scared.
Sorry for blurting out, and i know its not technically RA related, but i figure the anxiety is a lot to do with the diseases etc. And you lot are my friends and who else do you turn to when your family have such a low opinion of you?
You'll be ok. I am horrid at meeting people and don't really enjoy the school pick-ups and drop offs. Just smile at everyone and if anyone introduces themselves say hello and comment on the weather and ask about their child. If you get them talking, you'll have to say less!Good luck Tori. You can do it.
I'm sorry about what your mom said. My family are not my biggest supporters either, in fact they claim I just want attention. And I HATE when someone makes a comment like "Arthritis bothering you? Yeah, me too." Like they have any idea what I'm going through.
Anyway, feel free to blurt anytime. You're right, the anxiety can affect the RA. Stress always causes my pain level to skyrocket!
Wishing you the best, and I know you'll really enjoy walking to and from school like you used to, and before you know it, you'll be talking to everyone.
Cris
Good luck Tori. Guaranteed - It always seems worse when you are worrying about it - you will come home and say - now why did I waste my time with all that worry. You can do it - you don't need your mom. Enjoy your time with your son. You are a good mom !!!!!If you make it to the school then that proves you are a better person than most of those standing outside. Take a deep breath and tell yourself that. Don't worry if no-one speaks to you today (or the next few days), there will be a lot of people feeling the same. Remember you are there for your son......and he will love you for it.
Good luck!
Niki
Tori! Good Luck to you! Be Strong!! Im sure you will be fine hun, just try to relax and do the best you can. Don't let other people get you down. What you need most now is to try and stay positive. And hey any issue is worth posting on here. Not only directed towards RA hehe :) So no worries! *hugs* Hope to hear how it went :)Woohoo! I made it and not only that i went in 2 shops on my own on way back!! Boy do i feel better about myself just from something so simple, i hurt like hell, but it was so worth it to kiss my little man goodbye at the door and gonna be worth it to see him bounding out later. Stuff em all!! I'm gonna do this even if it kills me. house work on back burner while my knees recover from the hills, but hey, I'm alive! Off for a nap now to recoup enough for the walk back down in a bit. thank you all
I'm proud of you Tori. It's not easy leaving your comfort zone; but you did it for Billy. You're a good Mother Sweetie. Be proud of yourself today; ok?
And I won't even comment on your Mum. You know my feelings on that issue....don't let her comments effect you anymore.
definitely did the right thing moving him, he came out full of it! and was so pleased to see me there waiting for him. Only issue was half way home when he decided he needed the toilet NOW
He is soooo funny, i've just been told the story of how the teacher rescued him from the carton of milk! he accidently (some how??) got his finger stuck in it and it had to be ripped apart to get it off and they spilt milk everywhere! only my clown could manage that!! lol
sorry had to share that. cute!
Dear Tori.....I am glad to hear that both you and Billy made it through the day. You have a very strong, determined attitude.....I admire that. I also admire that you are able to slow down and take care of yourself when you need to. Maybe this new school will be a good chance for you to make a few friends. Try chatting with another mom before or after school.....make a goal for yourself each day. It can be as simple as asking another mom how long they have lived in the area, or something. Or..how their child likes school. When people find out that you are interested in THEM and THEIR lives, it will make them find YOU interesting and someone they want to be around.
About your mom.....I know it is hard to not have her support, but you're going to have to realize that she is not one of the people in your life who is going to support you, and just not expect anything from her. It's not the way it "should be", but, it is the reality for you. Start making room in your life for other people.....who love and cherish you as you are. You've done great at that here. Just take some of what you've done here and translate it into your everyday life. You have a lot to offer in the way of friendship. I admire your perseverence. love and healthy hugs, juliah
(((((((((((((((Tori)))))))))))))))
A big hug for you from me
xoxox meme
Glad to hear you made it thru the day. But just think your son will remember that you picked him up and walked him to school everyday. Not to mention the exercise you are getting....2 great things at once....Just wish I had as much gumpsion as you.
I know how that feels. To overdo. Sometimes we try and think we can do certain tasks and then do them and then we "pay" for it. I hope you get to feeling better so you can walk him to school again tomorrow, if not that is fine. Just do it every other day or every 2 days, if you do not have to take him yourself. Tori - I am glad you are sticking to walking your son to and from school even know it is VERY PAINFUL!! I think I would have gave up after day 1! I hate to hurt and be stiff...and I try to minimize what I do that causes me to feel that way...and walking is one of them. But then there are days and weeks were I get fed up with not doing what I want or need to do, so I go do what I want or need to do and then I end up "paying" for it...but hey atleast I got it done and probably complained the whole time....lol. So, have you talked to any of the other moms yet? good Job Tori,glad you both made it through the day.Know it must of been extremely tough.Hugs Sherry Well day 4, confidence wise its all good, queued to pay bills in the smallest post office you've ever seen today! but i am now off to lay down and hopefully recoup, that walk back up the hill is really getting to me, feet fat and real painful, knees too not to mention all the others, but hey listing them gets boring after a while! Thank you all for your support, it means a lot. I gotta keep battling, only 3 more trips this week then i get 2 days off woohoo!
We're proud of you Tori; you did it my friend...be proud of yourself. Lovie It's friday!!! It's Friday!! WooHoo!!
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