I had an appt. for Kelsey to take trip link to get her blood test for her meds and to pick up her prescriptions. Last night I was really out of it but I still asked her if she took her night meds. She said Yes. This morning she was up at 6 am and she was talking so much in different voices that I thought I was hearing a kid's television program. When I finally realized it was her, I got my butt out of bed and saw she did not take her meds last night. I don't know if I did the right thing but I had her take last night's meds this morning.
Trip link comes to pick her up and she is so out of it. They take her to the pharmacy and she calls me from the cell phone we got her that she could not get her meds. I called pharmacy and straightened that out. But then she was supposed to get her lab test for chlozaril, a very dangerous anti-psychotic drug that you have to be blood tested every month. She runs out on Sat. Long story short, she had driver take her home.
Now I have spent the entire morning trying to get her set up for lab tomorrow and pick up her script on Sat. when it runs out. I think I finally got it done. I don't know what to do. I am so afraid to drive. I have very little ROM and I cannot cope without pain meds. YES I am taking 15 mg. PRED. I don't want to take more as Kelsey takes a lot of patience and the more pred. - the less patience. The house is trashed, she is sleeping all day, my stomach is a mess from all the stress and I am trying to unwind.
You know what? I never appreciated Brett like I should have. He did so much for us, drinking or not. My life is falling apart without him. I tried to get in early to doctor but was told that it would do no good as all she could do is pain control.
What a mess. I miss Brett so much. I do love him but I didn't realize how much I needed him.
My family is too busy. I can tell when I ask for things they are afraid I am going to be too much of a burden. I come from a family of over-achievers. They have very busy lives.
awww, sweetie.So I am going to tell you this...RELEASE THE GUILT of the things you want done and cant do...RELISH WITH PRIDE the things that you have accomplished each day..IT IT MORE than many could do in your shoes...YOU ARE STRONG even though you may feel weak right now.
LOVE YA ROXY!!!!
What are we going to do with you. You were unfortunate enough to
get this wretched disease and then lose your job, take in Kelsey, sell
your house, buy a new house in a different state, get Brett into rehab,
get a new dog, get situated with a new area, (new docs for you and
Kelsey, new scripts for you and Kelsey, etc. etc. etc.) and you are
wondering why you are in a tither? You have never had this kind
of responsibility before Roxy, that is meals, errands, household
chores, etc. This is a whole new way of living Roxy and it takes
time to adjust to that. You have to make yourself a schedule or
you will continue to be overwhelmed and that is a terrible feeling for
a healthy person. And now you will be taking in Brett's
son. I agree with Now and Then that you are doing a lot. And, Crunchy, that you need to give yourself credit for it. I know when I am having to do things for both me and Julie, it is extremely overwhelming. You need to ask for more help with Kelsey from her service providers. There is nothing wrong with this. I don't want the responsibility of managing Julie's meds because it is too much for me with me having me own to manage. I also don't want to screw it up. Julie has the option of having a visiting nurse come in and work with her on a daily or weekly basis. It would be very good for Kelsey to work with someone on this as it will make her feel more independent and emphasize how important her meds are to take. Julie has done much better since she was in very controlled environment that made sure she took meds properly. She screwed up recently. But she still knows it is her responsibility. Kelsey is a bit different because she is more severe. But she is really smart and every bit she can learn to do on her own the better. I had a horrible day yesterday. I gave Kelsey wrong meds and the house was trashed and I was in agony. I emailed my brother and said I NEED YOU TO GET ME ORGANIZED. I am one of the most unorganized people I know and now it is so much worse on the pain meds. I lost my wallet and we found it after almost two hours looking, in the trash. I find things in the fridge that are absurd to be in there. So this weekend we are going to make me a schedule and check off lists. I forget which meds I have taken and which ones I need to take. I talked to Brett last night and he gave me a real lecture on staying ahead of the pain. I hate the painpills so I put them off until I am really hurting. Today Kelsey brought me a painpill in bed and I am taking them every 4 hours - period. Today I seem to be coping better. I vacuumed. Anyone know how to get melted wax off the metal fireplace. When our electricity was going out, Kelsey put a bunch of candles on there - what a mess now. Better day today. Taking my pred first thing in the morning. This will pass. Just keep telling me that -THIS TOO WILL PASS. Love you guys and you are so right - I am so unorganized, I need a schedule. I also have to quit beating myself up. That is the worse - RA makes you so unproductive. I used to judge a good day by how much I did. Didn't matter if it was play or work - I just wanted to live life to the fullest. PS Kelsey goes in on Monday for intake and mental evaluation. Then she will have more services available. She is breaking my heart. She is balling her eyes out. She was up all night. You mess with her meds and it really does her in
Went to Burger King and Bank. I swear - I am now in agony. Going to watch a movie and just took a perc with burger and fries. Thank you hun. :) That's a TERRIBLE picture of me. Hahaha Oh well. Try to lose yourself in that movie, relax. :)
If the hair dryer doesn't work on the candle wax, try an ice cube to
make it hard enough to lift off. When my candles are at the
bottom of the glass container, I put them in the freezer and the fall
out after frozen.
I have all my meds lined up in the cabinet that my glasses are in because the 2nd thing I do when I get up is get a glass of water and one of the last things I do at night is grab a glass out of there for Danny when he gets home from work. Whammo my meds are there staring me in the face. I mark on the calendar when I am due for the humira and mtx. Those are in the snack tray in my fridge. I see those often too since I am on pred lol. I also printed a list of medication name and dosage and stuck it to my fridge in case there is ever an emergency. When I had to go to the hospital when I was sick the ER docs and nurses really appreciated that form. You can probably also use it to take with to any doc appointments. Just ask them to make a copy of it.
Yep Roxy, you have to have a schedule. It's not fun when you have
been footloose and fancy free, but it has to be done. And you
will be surprised at the results.
We all wish we could be there to help you do this however, we too have
our schedules. Perhaps you could have a profession organizer hel
you. Brett can't do it all or he will be drinking again.
Stress does not agree with alcoholics. So it is important to
remember that so that you don't depend on him all the time.
Except for cuddling, etc. (giggle)
This is meant to help Roxy and I hope it does not come across as
preaching or trying to interfere with your life. We love you girl!
Luv & Hugs
Also, don't you have those pill containers...
m,t,w,th,f,sa,sun... that's what I put mine in so I don't forget
the pills. Seems like such an old lady thing, but, heck, it
works!!!
Go rest now.
It's not an old lady thing! We have them too. :) You can get them with magnets on the back of them, so they stick to the fridge too. So you see them everyday and they don't get lost. Only problem there is remembering to refill them. LoLI have them for Kelsey and I could not live without those pill boxes to organize her meds. My meds are mostly as needed so harder to organize.
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