It is wierd. I don't know if I am reading into it but it feels like Yes he is going to come back and take care of me. Why............because he feels obligated. I don't feel the love. Why would anyone choose a partner who is in pain all the time. He is very sweet on the phone but kind of monotone. He used to be so romantic. I keep trying to reassure him I am going to get better. I have to show him how much I appreciate him when he gets back and do whatever it takes to get better. He used to be madly in love with me but he loved my vitality, my playfulness and my confidence in the outdoors. Where is all that now??? He is happy his son is coming, he truly loves Kelsey, she is so loveable, and he loves each and every one of the animals. He is excited about the new dog. I so miss him and want him to be happy with me. I have been a spoiled brat and not very understanding of all the pressure Brett has been under. No wonder he started drinking.
HUGS!!!!!
I am going to watch Da Vinci Code again. Try to take my mind off things. Anyone seen it?
Brett comes home in 12 days
I think you need to just be honost and tell him..."I know that when we met I was so healthy and active...and I dont wish this on anyone...but I need to know that you are in this for the long haul....we are in this together...the RA, the alcoholism....the kids..and anything else that comes our way. We can get each other through this and have some love and laughs along the way....but if it is too much for you...than I need to know that too. Even though it will break my heart, I want you to be happy too. For me, I am happy when I am with you."
You are a wonderful person and you deserve to be truely loved...dont settle for less and dont think that you are to blame if you dont get that from Brett.
WE LOVE YOU Roxy!!!!!
One day at a time but I have to get over this flare before he gets back. I feel so vulnerable. I have been obsessing over ending up in a nursing home. 50 years old, 2 years ago I could climb any mountain, ride horses, chase bad guys, work 16 hour shifts on search and rescues, fight fires. 2 years. RA is evil.Like the others have said, none of this is your fault! Crunchy is right, you're in this together and you have to know that he's there for you as you'll be there for him. Hang in there. Day by day....
Oh Roxy....I am sorry...I didnt mean to sound so mean...that was kinda harsh...It just upsets me to see you getting so down on yourself when you should be pampering yourself instead.
I know it is hard, but think that you just need to take a big deep breath and tell Brett exactly how you are feeling...up front and honost. You just have to, and it is understandable to greive for the things that you have lost...but I told you this before and it bears repeating....you are stronger than you know. You do alot, you get alot of things done for you and Kelsey...you take care of your home and pets and family...you need to realize that you are getting things done and be proud of the acheivments.
Roxy, just take it day to day, I don't know what I would do without my Vic, he is wonderful!!! He has been by through thick and thin. He has held my hand hand when I was crying and hugging me when I needed it. It is a give and take situation, we have learned to plan accordingly with how I am feeling. It is a give and take situation and we have learned to deal with it in our way. Talk to Brett, when he comes home, if you need to write him a letter of how you feel and what you want to do, and how you want to be with him and what he means to you, don't hold back anything, tell him how wonderful he is with Kelsey and how wonderful life is with him, but he has to stop drinking. Another thing you might want to do is take Kelsey and go to some Al Anon meetings, they do help believe you me. My mother is an alcoholic and has been for over 20 yrs, there was a time when it was really bad and Al Anon helped us through it, don't ever blame yourself for Brett's drinking, nobody is putting a gun to his head to drink, he has to want to quit himself. xoxoxox meme Meme and Crunchy are right. Don't blame yourself for Brett's drinking, and his sobriety. He has to want to stop. He knew the stressful situation before he entered rehab, and he can't assume that everything at home will be the perfect place when he returns either.