What a day. My brother came by and he moved some things down to the garage. That is a relief. He brought up a leaf rake but to get Kelsey to do it won't be easy. I asked my bro about the morphine and he is so stoic - well you can't live like this. You have to do whatever you have to do. I told him RA flares come and go but it didn't seem to sink in. He also said "you better treat Brett well, you need him"
After he left, I don't know if it was meds on empty stomach or what but I had dry heaves and throw up for like an hour. Tomorrow has to be a better day. I did get my carport cleaned off but my family has no patience for people who cannot stand on their own two feet. I had their respect when I was always achieving, now I feel like I am losing it.
Don't blame my family - they are who they are. They have always been good to me and I have always known they have a hard time dealing with illness or sympathy. I still love them dearly.
So tomorrow has to be a better day.
One good news. I found a grocery store that delivered. I was so grateful when they showed up with my groceries.
Awww, sounds like you need a big
I hope tomorrow is better for you!
Roxy, what can I say. You can't pick your family, and you always end up loving them no matter what. But that doesn't mean they're right. Just keep that in mind. "you better treat Brett well you need him" Not the *best* advice in the world, regardless of who it came from. You should treat Brett right (and I know you already do) but only because you LOVE him. Not because you "need" him. Not like that anyway. You need him to be there for you and with you. I know you know all of this already. I'm queen of the obvious, I know. I just know how it is when your family comes off a little....off-color. LoL That's what I call my mom. She's notorious for it. You've been under so much stress, I'd hate to think that a little comment like that would put you into more. Try to take it easy, you're worrying the hell out of us. LoL We love you Roxy. Slow deep breaths, day by day!
You should rent a porno and watch it alone. STRESS RELIEF.
OMG I'm kidding, chill out. Geeze...
Roxy, I gotta say Listen to Katie.
Relationships that end up based on clinging from desperate need, or subjecting yourself to any kind of unhealthy treatment including pity/duty-instead-of-love, will suck your soul dry. You're smart. You know this.
You need that soul, gal, your strength of heart and self-respect, both to get you through RA and to have a reason to get through RA. Head up ALWAYS.
I hope things work out for you and Brett, because you love him. But whenever you tell yourself you need him no matter what, and you have to do anything to hang on to him, just stop right there and listen to yourself. Remember what she said--Roxy, HUSH!
Honest, as impossible as it seems, you can get your needs met, even RA needs, without any one particular person, notwithstanding the heartbreak of a lost love that we all fight to avoid until, sometimes, we know we can't fight it any longer.
You're still lovable and loving, useful, caring, and genuine. If it were to turn out that Brett doesn't see that anymore, that's about Brett, and not about what you have to give. Sometimes crisis and loss destroys a relationship. Sometimes it doesn't. It's all scary and tricky to maneuver. But either way, the fact that RA is one of your relationship crises (One of them, remember), has nothing to do with you, Roxy, the woman. You didn't do this, it's not your fault. You're doing all you can to make yourself better physically and to make a good life for yourself and loved ones.
You're a strong, gutsy woman, even though it DOESN't feel that way to you. You may be even stronger and gutsier than before the RA.
Consider that even that--a strong, gutsy woman with a drive to make things better--can be a threat to relationship. And we know the answer to that threat--get over it. We don't compromise strong and gutsy because it makes someone else uncomfortable. Not that this is part of your situation. But it could be.
Keep being Roxy. It looks like a pretty good thing to be.
You guys are great. Isn't it funny how the morning you see things differently. Yesterday was the worse day. Could not get out of my chair, Kelsey was really making messes all around me and it was driving me up the wall, then my brother, who I do love dearly says that to me, then throwing my stomach lining up
It is true. RA has knocked my ego down a nitch or two but it probably needed it. I had a good life, I could date a different guy every night if I wanted to (which I didn't) and then I met Brett and thought he was the best man that walked or hiked
This morning I think I feel a bit better,. Did my Enbrel yesterday. I am not going to take painkillers as my stomach is still raw. So let's just say, my attitude sucked yesterday and I know it. Today I will make a better day
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