If you remember the Original Hollywood Squares and its D comics, this may bring a tear to your eyes. These great questions and answers are from the days when "Hollywood Squares" game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course.
Q.
Do female
frogs croak?
A.
Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long
enough.
Q. If you're going to make a
parachute jump, at least how high should you
be?
A Charley
Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do
it.
Q. True or False, a pea can last
as long as 5,000 years.
A. George
Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if
you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay
to come out and ask him if he's married?
A. Rose Marie:
No; wait until morning.
Q. Which of your five senses
tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley
Weaver: My sense of decency.
Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more
than three words to say "I Love You"?
A. Vincent
Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.
Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help,"
and "I Can't Get Enough"?
A. George
Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next
apartment.
Q. As you grow older, do you tend
to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie:
You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'
ll never forget.
Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels
wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde:
Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q. Charley, you've just decided
to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley
Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing
strawberries.
Q. In bowling, what's a perfect
score?
A. Rose Marie:
Ralph, the pin boy.
Q. It is considered in bad taste
to discuss two subjects at nudist camps.
One is
politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde:
Tape measures.
Q. During a tornado, are you
safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose
Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.
Q. Can boys join the
A. Marty
Allen: Only after lights out.
Q. When you pat a dog on its head
he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde:
Make him bark?
Q. According to Ann Landers, is
there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of
people?
A. Charley
Weaver: It got me out of the army.
Q. It is the most abused and
neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde:
Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.
Q. Back in the old days, when
Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to
do?
A. George
Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q. Jackie Gleason recently
revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least
two occasions. What are they?
Q. According to Ann Landers, what
are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde:
Point and laugh.
Those were the days, weren't they?
Very good I needed that this morning. Never heard a four letter word from any of them. Just good lap smacking, lol humor. Bring Em Back!Thanks for that - I needed the laugh! The good old days of game shows - my grandma used to watch them all day and it was a special treat to go to her house and just hang out watching those classic funny folks - I probably thought it was corny at the time, lol.
Someone just reminded me the other day about the old Wheel of Fortune too - remember when the contestants had to actually spend their money right there, and they were always left with around 0, and the only remaining item they could buy for that was a life-size ceramic dog? Those were the days.
I seem to get a kick out of watching Americas Funniest Home Vidieos lately. The goofy animal ones make me laugh so hard I scare my cats.