Joke time, we all need some laughter in our lives...anyone have some really good jokes they would like to share?
Bill Clinton was out for a run and came to this corner where this hooker was standing and she started to yell at him 100 bucks and he keeps going on.
The next day bill was out running again and there was the hooker yelling at him 100 dollars and he said no 5 bucks so she said no way.
The following day Hillary decided to go run with him and him knowing about that hooker that yells at him as they approach the corner he lookes at the hooker and she yells at him SEE WHAT YOU GET FOR 5 BUCKS!!!
lololol.......I haven't heard that one.A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time. Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all. That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents’ house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!" The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious." Hillhoney......I LOVE that one..... You got me... I didn't see it coming. I had even heard it before! A preacher was making his rounds to his parishioners on a bicycle, when he came upon a little boy trying to sell a lawn mower.TOP 8 MORONS OF 2006
1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP? AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.
2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland , CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up."
3. WHAT WAS PLAN B??? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.
4. THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka , Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.
5. DID I SAY THAT??? Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: "Give me all your money or I'll shoot", the man shouted, "that's not what I said!".
6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??? A man spoke frantically into the phone: "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart". "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked "No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"
7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED! In Modesto , CA , Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun. Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellooooooo)!
8. THE GRAND FINALE!!! Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 foot boat, going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.
NOW REMEMBER...THIS IS TRUE.
Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!
SORRY TO ALL THE BLONDES
DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE TWO BLONDES WHO WERE FOUND FROZEN TO DEATH AT THE DRIVE IN ?
THEY WENT TO SEE "CLOSED FOR WINTER"
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