Along with going to school a work part time as a waitress at a medium sized family owned diner. A lot of our customers are regulars and i recently have found myself in a little bit of a delema with one.
I was talking with a woman and her husband about school and i was telling them about this resharch paper and presentation i was finishing up on mtx. she wanted to know why i picked that drug, and i told her it was because i was going to be going on it because i was just dx with ra a few weeks before. it turns out that about 3 days before our conversation she was diagnosed with ra as well. we got talking, and she was asking me about how i conserve energy seeing as extreem fatigue is one of my biggest problems, and also what joints are effected...just the typical stuff. during this a customer at the next table over went up to my manager and in frount of a few of my coworkers and threw a huge fit about me talking about my ra.
he said he was nauseated and was loosing his appitite and he didn't need to hear about anyof those awful things while he was eating. my manager and coworkers just blew it off. but i got really upset, and just attributed to his lack of knowledge or somthing, but now when he comes in he gives me these horriable and dirty looks and a has been asked not to sit in my section because hes discusted by me.
i want to say somthing to him, but i'm not sure what to say, and i have to be careful because i do work there...i was wondering if anyone has come across a simmilear experience and what they did?
thanks for the help, i just don't know what to do
Just simply tell him that you are sorry that you offended him and that you hope he accepts your apology and that you would be happy to serve him in the future.
Unfortunately, there are a lot of people that are rude out there. It is the nature of human. Also, keep in mind that medical issues may be something that is fearful to him and sometimes fear in people is shown with anger.
He really was butting in to a private conversation. But, the customer is always right no matter if they are wrong.
I am truly sorry this happened to you.
I agree with Gramma. Short of apologizing and hoping to mend the fence, there isn't much you can do. you may never know why he took such offense to what we see as an innocent conversation. Who knows what he has dealt with in his past, or he may just be a jerk. Nevertheless, remember you won't ever make everyone happy, no matter how hard you try.
Keep your chin up!
Lori
Why would you apologize to him? Really, why?
Please realize that this is HIS problem, NOT yours. Let him sit in another section or go to another restaurant. You didn't do anything wrong. You had a conversation with another customer. He shouldn't have been eavesdropping.
I wouldn't say anything to him at at all. It will just feed HIS fire. Go on with your life and ignore him (unless of course he says hello or something like that). Don't let it bother you either. Remember, this is HIS problem; don't take HIS issues upon yourself!
You can't please everyone and he can't take away your birthday.
I wouldn't give him the time of day. A person like that is always going find a reason to get angry. Next time you get a dirty look, think, Thank God, I am not filled with anger like him. You did nothing wrong.
Lori
Just always make sure you are pleasant and smiling when he gives you those dirty looks. It is not like you will forever be a waitress, but the peole that you meet in there may very well be a huge part of your life someday so just be couteous. You may want to also ask your manager how they would like you to handle the situation.
Eww wouldn't life be really crappy if we all had his attitude? And how about all the folks that talk on their cell phone in line at the grocery ect. I get so sick of hearing everyone elses conversation. The proper thing for him to do as a responsible adult is to quietly make mention of it if he felt that strongly about it.And , he should not have been eavesdropping! I know at times like with cell phones it is difficult, but for crying out loud...now he will not sit at your section? lol People are odd aren't they?
Thanks for the reply! I know its just my fault and even my manager and coworkers were like "whats his problem". I figure its his loss, and I do feel like the professional thing to do is appoligise because he is a regular. And yes I am thankful that I'm not an angry person. I think that because this is so new to me I might have over reacted, cause i know if i had another cronic disease that is more well known (like cancer) I don't think he would have said anything. I just wanted to yell at him and say: "you heard 5-6 minuets of a conversation and it made you loose your appitite well how do you think that makes me feel living with it and dealing with it for the rest of my life....your a jerk" but that would bring myself down to his level. I have this weird urge to educate him about ra because I think thats part of the problem. i think i'll let an angry person just be angry, Thanks for the advise!
-Jessica, I would be interesting in hearing/reading your research on MTX...what interesting things did you find out about it?
Kris
Lori and GrammaS - I didn't think you thought she was wrong in any way at all
I do feel that someone who would go to a manager and complain about this conversation is heartless and has some sort of an issue. Complaining about someone who is chronically ill is just wrong and I feel that if an apology is made to him - it may just feed his fire! This guy has got a problem. I don't want Jessica to think she did anything wrong, because she didn't. I think sometimes is just best to let it go.
Jessica what ever you dicided to do; is what is right for you.
Lori
Sorry you had such an upleasant run in with a customer. I used to work as a waitress and had my fair share of wacky customers, so I can relate. It does sound like this guy over reacted for sure! If he was upset, he could have told you himself and a bit more gently and perhaps explained why he was so upset. But to offer another perspective, I have a close relative who is astonishingly queasy about medical stuff. I can imagine him getting uncomfortable over-hearing such a conversation while dining out.