Everything is a battle. I've been trying since September to get General Assistance. The physician's form was wrong one, then the doctor faxed, didn't fax it, the DES department didn't get, oh, we finally got it faxed and received today. Since September, I'm thinking that this is the problem.
Here's the brand new clincher. In the state of AZ, you cannot have over a 00 in assets including the place you live in and your car. This is because you might be able to sell them. Of course, you'd no longer have a place to live. And since my lot rent is a whole lot less than any apartments, I'd be out on the streets. And, I need my car to go to my doctor's appointments. But that doesn't matter because you can use their Mercy Care transporation that is really unreliable. So those months that you've been waiting for your doctor's appointment or you need a ride home for the hospital -- just forget it.
And, if I lost my place to live, I would have to go into a shelter if I could even find room in them. I've been there before. They are disgusting cots in a big room where the druggies and prostitutes hang out and you have to ask for a piece of toilet paper and they feed you something that looks like garbage. And, if you want breakfast you have to go hear this sermon first miles away from the shelter and be fed more garbage. And, I'm not kidding because I lived through this and it's worse than what I am telling. And, I couldn't do that now because my immune system is destroyed and I'd die any way which is probably what they are hoping I'll do.
And, I can't have my daughter pay me the lot rent even though she is living with me. No, that has to be a loan that I will pay her back out of my Social Security benefits when someday I am graced with them. That's ok, but then SS will come in and say that she has to pay her small amount of benefits back because she wasn't paying anybody rent.
Everything, everything is a fight. And, I am so sick that I cannot handle it any more. But I don't have a choice because I cannot get a case manager because they keep losing the requests. But I'm welcome to file a complaint because we have over here the big, ole' complaint bucket which is actually the black hole of the universe. No one seems to ever respond to the complaints. But go ahead and complain.
I'm tired. I hurt. I'm sick and it is absolutely disgusting how this country treats disabled people.
I am supposed to not have any source of money until Social Security is awarded. It doesn't matter that I won't have a home to live in or a car to drive. They'll give me food and medical care, but I have to fight for every piece of that. And, if they can give me the worse doctors that's just great. They are so happy. Or, drug me up so I can't complain any more.
And, don't dare give her a wheelchair so she can get out of her home because then she might be able to see her doctors and get better. And, low and behold a miracle might happen and she could get better enough to go back to work again and pay into a system that is going to just keep treating people this way.
Taxpayers this is what you are paying for. Aren't you just thrilled with how they are handling the care of individuals who no longer can work. I worked over 25 years. I hardly slumped through life. Now, I get treated like scum. Every day. Without fail. Over and over again.
Deanna,
I am so sorry. I don't know what to say. I am so disgusted by what I just read. Please know you are in my thoughts.
Lori
Wow...I wish I knew what to do...there has to be a way out of this mess D....I've been dealing with SSD since 1991, it's like being trapped in some freaky Escher drawing. http://www.mcescher.com/ Up is down, down is sideways and no one you talk to says the same thing twice. (keeping in mind you'll never speak to the same person twice - if you get to speak to a person at all, and sometimes it's better not to, unless you're going up, which is down, and sideways but only on Tuesdays, this week I mean. Now what could be clearer than that?Can you "sell" your trailer and car to your son and then pay your rent to him? I know elderly people here often do that with their residence, so they will qualify for nursing home admission when the time comes. It might be a way to get around it. This system is just insane!
Lynk, I said it right; including both the car and the house. I loved your analogy of Escher. It is very appropriate and exactly my experience. Since 1991.... see that's what the really scary part is that this can go on for years before you get SS. I don't see how anyone can do that.
Hillhoney, I can't sell the car because it has a big loan still on it that I have disability insurance on. So, they make the payments. I'd had to sell it high enough to clear out that loan since they have the title. There's no way my son can do that. In the meantime, they want a new note from my doctor every two months stating that I am still disabled and will still be disabled. That costs me about every time they write this.
If I sell my son the trailer, then it becomes an asset on his credit, etc. Since I know he owes a creditor, then they could jump in and take the trailer, leaving my daughter and myself once again homeless. My son is only 22 with hopes of eventually going to back to school. So those assets would keep him from getting financial assistance for school.
The fact remains that this is not how the system should work. Trying for disability is the most demeaning and financially disasterous situation for anyone. If you have a spouse or family members that can help you out, you might just make it. But I've heard of so many people doing second mortgages, selling their land and belongings, losing their marriages, all because of this system.
When you go to someone to apply for help they just keep asking the question, "So what is your source of income."
"I have none."
"No, really, how are making it."
"I'm not."
Unspoken. "Surely you could have planned for this better." Like disability is a planned event.
From the state, if you happened to have anything, "Oh, you planned ahead. We can't possibly help you because you have too many assets."
However, the state is borrowing their measley 4 a month (like anyone could really live on that anyway) from your potential Social Security benefits. Why is the amount so small? They have the same criteria for being disabled that Social Security does.
And, I did plan on getting LTD. But because my doctor put me on reduced hours before finally taking me off work, then I might not get that. You have to watch out for that one now too. If you are lucky enough to get LTD where you work, find out the rules ahead of time or your doctor's attempt to keep you working could just screw you out of any potential help you might get. And, LTD is usually higher than SS.
I bought a trailer that's old as sin so I would be able to live in the most inexpensive place I could if something went wrong. I got rid of all my debt but medical, which I get hounded for every month and my car which I have to reprove my disability every two months.
I had a good job. But I couldn't do it any more. It was destroying my health and there are several of you who've been on this board long enough to know that all my fears in filing for disability have been proven real. It was a terribly hard decision for me just because of all these reasons.
But I have no choice. It's fight my way through this mess because I can't sit and do work that I loved any more. It is not bad enough that we were afflicted with a disease that can kill us (I love how they keep that part out as much as possible, but it's true. It could kill us. It definitely is going to shorten our live spans by about 12 years. I call that significant.) But we lose our careers, our dreams, our friends and our companions. On top of that, we must be financially devastated enough so that we might pull out one more last "Hail Mary!" and try working again. That happened to me before when I became homeless. So, I duked it out working until my system is destroyed and the medications are no longer an option for me and the wheelchair is sitting facing every day.
How can they even imagine someone would choose this as a lifestyle? It feels like being raped over and over again. If they beat someone down hard enough they will either give up and work or they will die. I can't work and I refuse to die because it makes it easier on them.
And, the hardest part in this is the multitude of unkind people I have had to deal with especially over the holidays. Thank God that I had good friends that couldn't bear to see me totally demolished this year.
But this is not right and it shouldn't be about a person being able to wiggle out of it one way or another. I don't want anyone to suffer like I have and I can't believe that most people if they let themselves become aware of it would want this either.
This same struggle happens to our young people who are coming home from overseas that are wounded. They are caught in the same trap after giving such sacrifice to our country. It is a shame on this land.
Well, I used my anger and passion to work on it tonight. Hopefully, I can get it finished and back to him soon.
I would die to be put in the public spotlight. That is just not me. But I'm more determined than ever to speak up.
I will not roll over and play dead. But to make real changes, it will take a lot of people finally speaking up. That's what I hope happens that a spark gets started and the blaze of so many desperate people will be lit.
This system is making thousands of people's lifes miserable though. Remember that the disabled are moved out of the mainstream of life so most people are totally clueless how senseless it all is. But it does affect everyone to some degree. The saddest part, is that eventually everyone that lives long enough will be disabled in some manner. Very few people die at an old age without some kind of health problem.
Deanna, are you aware of the organization that put the fact into motion that being 50 is considered a senior? It was AARP so that they could gather more members and more dues. Lots of people think that their word is gospel....not true. Some of their prices and deals are actually priced higher than their competitors. As far as I am concerned, you are not a senior until you reach 65. But, being 50 is nifty especially when you can get a cup of coffe at McDonald's for 50 cents.I know you don't want to do this, but what about contacting TV stations in your area and having them help you? We have a station that does an "8 On Your Side" spot where they help people who have been screwed over.
Also, I think I'd start contacting churches and ask for some help. I don't mean get a meal and clothes, I'm talking about asking if someone could help you with the legal process, etc. My friend is a minister and she gets calls all the time from people in need. Our church has a fund to help people who walk in for help.
I can understand about not wanting to go public with this, but I think it's time.
Scout, I tried contacting one of our news stations. I didn't even get a response. I've also written letters to the Governor and Senator McCain. I have received a letter back from Senator McCain in which I am writing about all these many issues.
I am being forced into going public because I am so desperate for help and I am so angry which I hate to feel angry.
I have a real problem with going to churches since the ones I belonged to in the past had no problem in asking me for my services and money yet turned around and refused us any kind of help. I could be starving, homeless, need clothing; but even aware of the problem, they did nothing. And, this isn't the case of just one church.
I have already been humilated so much in this process. Why does this have to be reduced down to me begging for help? I will ask them if I am reduced to it. But they are on the last of the people that I am willing to call. These are the peope who are sitting in church on Sunday speaking about their noble professions in medicine and social worker that during the rest of the week treat me like I'm scum on their shoes.
I paid into the government. I paid tons in taxes. My government should be helping me. They are not. They have no problem taking your money or my money, but just try and get some of it back if you really need help. That isn't right. Yet, they want to hand it out to illegal aliens. I go to these state offices and 90% of the people in there are non-English speaking Hispanics. One assumes that most of those are illegal. I have no doubt that they need help. And, now the government wants to give them Social Security benefits.
In the back of mind, I can't help but think if I changed my last name to a Hispanic surname that maybe I would get help. But that would be crazy of course, wouldn't it?
I shouldn't let all these feelings here, but I've been working on my response to McCain all morning. And, as I gather up my evidence, reread letters that I written and ones that I've received, the anger and frustration just grows.
Anger is dangerous for people with RA. It causes flares. So, I try to stay away from confrontational situations. But life is not allowing that.
Scout, none of what I am writing here is directed to you personally. You are right, I have to go public and I really appreciate the support and the suggestions.
This may be a bad Idea but have you ever thought of contacting the montel williams show?
who knows if he would do a show with you but it may get the word out more. he has MS but he does really well with his illness how I would like to know.
Mark, it's a good suggestion. But while I respect some of the things that Montel Williams does, I generally am not fond of the format of his show which still steers tends to be exploitive. I don't know how he manages his illness but I am proud of the way he has come public with it and tried to do positive things to help people because of it.
Personally, I don't want to be in the limelight. It scares me to think that might happen. But if Oprah, Rosie or Larry King would listen to the issues of disability and the problems of dealing with chronic autoimmune illnesses like Rheumatoid Arthritis, then I would do it because we need a voice out there.
I also would have a great problem traveling. Honestly, as bad as I want to bring these issues to light, I hope I don't ever have to do that. I would because I love you guys, I love my daughter and my country. I firmly believe no one should suffer. It's bad enough to be ill. People should not be treated badly on top of that.