I've been caught in so much serious stuff lately that finding my sense of humor has been difficult. I've been digging through old letters to friends and family about how RA and disability as affected me. I found this story I wrote about one of my more dramatic days with RA. But if you do make it to end of the story you will realize that the whole experience was overshadowed by something very small. Laughter can be found in the most obsure situations. At least, I hope it makes you laugh.
This happened to me in August, 2002.
Haven't communicated much this week. It has been one
of those weeks you hope will hurry up and get over
with so that no more damage can occur.
It started out last Saturday. I was going to do a
brave thing and take Julie to the mall. Now, I was
only worried about the two of us being able to walk
without our knees or our backs giving out.
I drove into the entrance of the mall and my nose
practically exploded with a nose bleed. No
pre-warning. No, I might need to get a tissue
premonitions. Just bang, blood flowing dramatically.
Decided the mall was not going work for quickly
locating a bathroom. Headed for the Sears tire store.
Julie and I rushed into their bathroom and started
demolishing their supply of paper towels. All this
effort to stop the bleeding was to no avail.
Then, Julie pointed out that my left eye was bleeding.
Okay. I'm starting to feel a little paranoid at this
point. I send Julie out of the bathroom on the excuse
to get me a soda and examine the situation. My eye is
indeed bleeding. Well, I never seen this before. Okay.
I'm panicking.
Julie returns and I say maybe we should call 911. She
was a champ and my very shy, panic-attack prone
daughter went up to the sales counter and got them to
call the paramedics.
Just so happens paramedics were shopping at the mall.
The Sears man put came in and put some ice on my head.
I think that really helped. I'd like to thank him but
I don't think I could recognize his face beyond all
the blood.
Okay. Their going to take me to the hospital. They
strap me in and put me in the ambulance asking me all
the standard questions which I duly answer behind a a
mask of endless tissues. I think they got the basics
though.
Okay. Now, we ready to travel. In meantime, well over
a half hour after all the bleeding began, it all
stops. Well, I'm not in mood to go to the hospital and
sit in the emergency for four hours to have them do
noting and send to my doctor on Monday. (I was already
scheduled to see my doctor on Monday.) My vitals were
fine, so they said okay.
I went home. I gave Julie money to go shopping and she
had much better experience shopping with a friend for
clothes (seems adding projectile bleeding - Julie's
description, not mine - seems to deter from the
enjoyment of shopping). I don't get. Whatever. Who
ever understands young people.
Go the doctor on Monday. Now, this my highly educated
rheumatologist. His analysis of the situation is that
the bleeding thing was "wierd." His words, not mine.
Well, I already knew that. But my sinuses were
inflamed, so he wants me to see a Ear/Nose/Throat
specialist (hereafter referred to as a ENT).
The bleeding from the eye thing makes me want to call
my opthamalogist office especially sense I have had so
many things wrong with my eyes and I am rather partial
to them.
The doctor very nicely informs me that I might have
Wegener's granulomatosis (I guess this the technical
term for "wierd.") It is important that I see a ENT
right away.
Went home and looked up this "wierd" disease. Ah! Once
again, it is a rare disease that fatal (this within 5
months) if not quickly treated.
Okay. I have diseases. I have enough of doctors. Now
this. So, I am anxiously awaiting my visit to the ENT.
The problem is I am already on the medication for this
disease. So, I'm a little worried.
Now, let's get back to normal life. I am all stressed
out about this. So, regular decides to distract with
more problems. But think this one was given to me just
to make me laugh.
It is now Tuesday night. I am waiting for Julie to
come out the convenience store. We head home and when
I try to roll up her window, it won't budge. It is
10:30 at night and I find anything in the manual, on
the Toyota web site, about windows inadvertently
locking, especially in the down position.
But the manual does mention fuses. Hey, I'll grasp at
anything. So, we go out to the car, which unlocked
because I can't roll up the window to look at the
fuses.
But of course, forgetting the boy scout motto of being
prepared, I don't have a flashlight. Well, there is
only one place open at this time of night that sells
flashlights -- the 24-hour Walmart.
Now, this Walmart is huge, huge. And, of course, the
flashlights are at the far end of the store. Well,
Julie and I pull our aching bodies together and get a
flashlight. We go out and look at the fuses, and
suspect them, a 40 AMP beauty.
We go back inside Walmart, once again to the far side
of the store. I want you to know Walmart, even Super
Walmarts, do not carry 40 AMP fuses.
It is now 11:30. I am exhausted. We go home. Park the
car, window in down position and go to bed.
Rising early the next morning, I make to PEP Boys (our
local auto repair chain) to buy a 40 AMP fuse. This in
itself did create any problems. Not until, I tried to
replace the fuse. The old fuse would not budge. I
asked for help from the PEP boy guys and after using
various tools, he too, could not get the fuse to
budge.
"Let's wait for the mechanic," he says. Okay, I need
to get work, but whatever. Mechanic comes. He says the
old fuse is fine, it probably and electrical problem
because my window rolls up and down just fine and the
other don't. Now, remember he is a professional here.
Well, I have had enough of this problem for one day. I
just get in my car and drive to work, park the car and
lock with the window in the down position.
Fortunately, help was literally right around the
corner, actually in the next cubicle. I asked my
friend, Skip, who also has owned the same model of car
if he would come down and just look at the fuse. Which
he kindly did.
He looks at fuse and agrees with the professional
opinion of the mechanic that it is good. Okay, so I'm
dumb. I can live that. I have been dumb a lot.
Then, Skip continued his investigation. "Start your
car up." I did. He comes over the driver side and hits
this tiny, insignificant, "I don't know what it is
there for" button.
Now, I know it locks and unlocks the passenger and
rear windows. I have just surpassed my previous
definition of dumb.
I am so relieved that I am only dumb (very dumb), but
my car does not have an electrical problem.
Somehow, this second incident, that has no earth
shattering effect and is in truth no real problem
completely overshadows the " bloody eye incident."
Now, does God have a sense of humor or what?
I just loved this post. Made me and hubby laugh. I am starting to wonder if it is really ok to laugh at stuff like this ...or if it is mean.
Misery loves company I guess. I glad to know I'm not alone in RA and car troubles -I have an evil VW Jetta with 38 k miles that cost me 1,900 bucks in the last 2 months and my clicker still won't unlock my car doors. I hate twisting the key in the lock - hurts.
Deanna, I think that you have taken over where Erma Bombeck left off. This should be published....somewhere! You could be writing short stories for several magazines Deanna. And getting paid for goodness sake! As soon as you get your health on the right track get onto the other right track and start publishing. Reader's digest is a good start. They love short, comical stories. You are wasting so much talent Deanna. Geez.... Deanna, I think you should submit this to Arthritis Today. You write beautifully and have such a wonderful sence of humor. This would sell.LMAO