Hi all, it looks as though I have some catching up to do, been gone cause my computer crashed....we will have memorial services for it later in the week. I would have lost a lot of stuff, but fortunately I was taught to back everything up.
Anyway, it has been dreary weather here, just plain old cold today and as I get ready for yet another appointment I realized what my health problem might be: "Broken Heart Syndrome" there is actually a founded scientific physical problem that goes along with the loss of a loved one.
I will mention this to my Dr. and see what he thinks, don't think there is a cure for that either.
Been having some bad bone days, but aren't there always.You do not get used to it that is for sure. I was hoping this year would bring some good things but thus far......OMG! I have been having a string of really bad luck....lol...although nothing to laugh at, I am wondering if things will ever get better, taint lookin' that way that is for sure.
Hope all are fine and having less pain that I and I will try to get caught up on all the posts these next few days.
jode
Jode, you may be right about "broken heart syndrome." That's what my daughter says is my main problem, I've just had my heart broken too many times.
It's hard to feel good when one feels so sad. But broken hearts do mend, actually better than bodies. Time is the cure and new loves which are so hard to find.
Well said (again) Deanna. I am sorry you are feeling so down Jode.The weather also has alot to do with the way I feel emotionally and physically. Just like the weather gets better with time so will your broken heart. I hope you feel better soon!
CinDee
Hi Deanna!
Oh I am sure that is what my problem is and I am really not certain if I am up to all this dating stuff. Someone new? Ahhhh, don;t think so. I enjoyed the memories from the 8 years too much, and it is what my kids remember, it was our second family. It just feels so weird to date and then to begin again. I doubt that I ever will be able to be married or live with someone again, maybe just date...besides...I MISS MY DOG! DO ya think I should go steal my dog? That might help some and he would never know, he would just think she ran away or got hurt or something, that is what happened to our cat Samantha, she just never came home, same with Jacqs our dog, he just never came back.
I really do not think the broken heart syndrom gets better Deanna. THe sadness and sorrow are so deep............so you got it too? Soemtimes I feel like it is a heart attack and it goes all the way to the pit of my stomach..then of course the tears come.......Geesh it has been over 2 yearssss!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh I am rambling better stop the tears are starting again.....
Good to hear from ya! I hope this computer keeps working! Oh, my daughter was having trouble due to an incident last year, she is now on an antidepressant/meds for her ADD and doing so much better. Between my menopause and her ADD/hormonal surges....it can get iffy around here!
jode
Jode, I so sorry that you have been having a tough time. It's like that old saying, "If it ain't one thing, it's another" sometimes. At least it's clear you haven't lost your sense of humor! Good for you!Thankyou so much CinDee, it gets to be kinda tough out here all alone at times.
jode
Jode; I'm sorry I'm not fimiluar with your situation. When I first read this I thought you'd lost a loved one due to death; but talking about stealing the dog it sounds as if your spouse left you?
I can only imagine that hurts like hell.....but eventually the hurt will go away and you'll realize it's only hurting you by holding onto it.
RA is very much affected by our emotions. I went through years in a bad; but not abusive marriage. After my divorce and after I learned that I could make it on my own life really just opened up for me.
I've recommended the book "The Power of Positive Thinking" here many times. Few have ever commented on reading it so I doubt many have tried it; but it's a change in the way you think everyday that will make some very positive changes in your life. What you put into your head on a regular basis is what eventually happens to you.
If it's positive messages you are hearing it's a positive out come you'll acheive. Same with negative.
I hope that one day you'll be able to get over that hump of despair and move on with your life for yourself.....and your children as well.
Jode, I sure have had that terrible feeling that goes so deep within you. Some people just bounce back better than others. I wasn't really suggesting that you date per se. I know that it usually takes a new guy in my life to really get over the last one. But I'm no good at dating either. I seem to need years between relationships.
As time goes by, that deep, oppressing hurt does lighten. You find other things to fill your life with. I don't stealing the dog is probably a good idea no matter how tempting it is. Getting a new one that you can pour your love into, now that would be good.
It's hard sometimes to put things behind us. But if we don't, we get stuck in those hard, painful places. Sometimes, I've had to go to a counselor to get me past some of those times. It helps to talk it out and put it into some overall perspective for one's life.
It does continue to hurt. But time turns the volume down. For instance, my first love of 17 still shadows my life. I still think of him often and a part of me yearns for what we had. It was special. But it can never be regained. Decades have passed now. But I still keep a little part of my heart saved back for him and for each of my husbands (who probably don't deserve it). But if I can keep a bit of the love there, then it doesn't just turn to bitterness.
Last guy really broke my heart. But it's been awhile and we talk as friends. I wouldn't want to marry him now and I'm actually grateful that we couldn't seem to get to that point. Yet, there are things I truly treasured about our relationship. Fortunately, with him, I get to keep those with an ongoing friendship. That isn't always possible.
You cannot stay where the pain is. You are going have to stretch out and taste a bit of life again. Sometimes it is going and doing something new, reading good, inspiring books, making contact with an old friend.
It will get better. Think about what you would tell your daughter if she was in the same situation. I often find that what I would say to my child is exactly what I should be saying to myself. We seem to be capable of giving more love to our children than to nurture the one that lives inside us at all times.
And, it is ok to still cry. All those tears have to come out. Cry and then go do something.
Jode - Welcome. You made me think about when I was considering divorcing my husband, what was that -last week, the single's ad I could put on match.com. Sexy older woman whom you have to dope up to get intimate with. Loves to hike, bike, and adventure - but must be on handicap accessible areas. Not much of a morning person - required - you must spend the night to help me out of bed - great sense of humor - when I am not laughing I am crying. High IQ that is useless as I take a lot of drugs. Big heart and belly. More cushion for the pushin
PS Wish someone had got me to back up my computer.
Lovie, I read the book and it is a great philosophy that I believe is so true. Right now I am reading Why bad things happen to Good People. Recommended on this board. All of these books are helpful but my next goal is to actually try to read a novel. I am ready - I want to focus on something else besides being sick
I raise a daughter who is a handful at times and is preparing everything for her graduation from H.S., oh what a year this has been! It is a struggle at times knowing that she is of age now, the "mommy letting go part" anyway,and then there are THOSE days when you cannot WAIT till she gets a move on out the house! OMG! She can absolutely drive me nutzo! I guess that emans she is healthy....who knows.
I date quite often and enjoy it but hate the bar scene so I remain away from that population. I am relatively new to the area and not sure what bars or pubs to go to anyway, so I am just fine meeting individuals whenever. Most of the men here are true gentlemen and the ones that are not, are truly rednecks! lol I think as you get older you get a lot more choosey as well cause more than likely you have had a bad relationship along the way. So I do not worry about it. I do not know what happened today, I can honestly state, though, this is the very first time I have felt out of wack with the entire situation. I will never go back for obvious reasons ( at least to me) and because I have moved on, it was just one of those brain farts you get sometimes when you remember all the good and not the "grand finale", the " what you know deep in your heart you could never live through again" stuff.
ROXY! lol I loved your ad ! I laughed so hard.......it is so true! Trust me, from what I have read and seen online at those dating sites, most of the men could easily write that ad themselves!
jode