What would you be doing if you didn't have RA?
If I could travel back in time three years, to before the RA hit
I'd treasure every run up the stairs.
I'd cherrish every sore muscle I got up on the ladder fixing gutters and loose shingles.
I'd run a fifth mile on the treadmill instead of my usual 4.
I'd wouldn't complain that my "fat" jeans are a size 10.
I'd ski with friends and not mind the cold, the wet, or poor quality snow.
I'd wake up on the first sound of my alarm and leap out of bed to meet the new day--even on a workday.
I'd gleefully get down on my hands and knees and scrub the corners clean on the kitchen floor.
I'd go to a mall and walk, window shop, and wander all day-happy not to spend anything but time.
What would you do?
I don't know. I think I would be lost. This is all I have ever known. I cherish life every day, even with the RA. I am able to breathe and hear and taste and love and cry and so much more. I may complain about the RA, but I think deep down I would be confused without it. It's been a basis of my life .... for all my life.Honestly...I would still be working as a cook at Cracker Barrel...Sweating, over worked, never seeing my girls...In some kind of twisted way, this is a blessing..I was able to go to college for a couple of years, Keep closer tabs on my ailing mother, and spended deep satisfying time with my girls. Yes, I would love to more durable when walking, more energy during the day, and of course less pain. However, Maybe God knew what was better for my soul. I dont like being on disablity..but it has it perks...I'm another infant onset JRAer like Katie. If I had some magic beans that would end my disease and instantly fix all my joints, great! If it would take me back in time to before the disease began so I could live my life over w/o JRA?
I'd think about it, but the answer would have to be no. I'd be a different person and I like who I am now, nobby joints n' all.
However, if I ever do find those magic beans, this would be my top 5 list:
5. Jump on the bed till the box spring brakes.
4. Play LEGOs with my 3yo nephew - on the floor!
3. Open every dang jar in the house.
2. Drive my car w/o pain. Roadtrip people!!!
1. Run, run, run, run - RUN. (I've never been able to run)
Oh! and I'd go crazy at the mall too! And the movies!! I haven't been to a movie theater in years! My list keeps getting longer.
I want to be able to run in the rain
I want to be able to body surf
I want "no pain"
I want to get down on my knees and scrub my kitchen floor ( I never thought I would say that)
I don't want Stan to look at my face and in my eyes and say again "you're hurting aren't you"
But most of all I want to be able to sit Sangha (meditation) for longer than 10 minutes at a time. I would sit around writing lists of what my life would be like if I didn't not start a rock band when I was younger.
I also have a medical problem that causes me to be overweight that i didn't know before i got RA.
So, if it didn't show, i would still be very depressed that I wasn't loosing weight and would be hounding my body to loose it with odd diets etc. Nothing but being sad about it.
But, I would have the body to still go on long drives, to different towns to shop and have fun.
My house would still be clean instead of a horrible mess and I might be a bit more happy than I am now even with the weight problem.
Emotional state would be about the same, but life would be easier.
It would be like arriving home from a long vacation or something. I have had a very aggressive rapid onset of very angry disease that I ignored the subtle introductions of far too long. I am still dealing with those issues. Meds, depression, etc. but here goes...
I would resume riding my horses.
I would resume hanging out nightly with my lunatic Army family/friends. (I miss the kids alot.) They live three blocks away. Just too tired at this point...
I would drive. (pain meds make that A negatory right now.)
I would play guitar until I passed out.
I guess I have alot to learn. I am going to need alot of help to at least get me to my friends' house again. That would be the greatest!
Humm.... well since I have had RA all of my life, I would not know. I have had "glimps" into what it was like without active RA, but I still had damage from the RA so I do not know what it is like to be "normal".
But if I did not have it right now, I would be a lean mean cleaning machine!
What? I am feeling like my tin box needs a good wash down with clorox
Oh and if I did not have RA right now, I just might take down our fake christmas tree
My children;s life woul dbe completely different and I would not have had to hear those dreaded words from my kids "you are always sick" or" you look like you don;t feel good", and "it's gonna rain mom, beware".
I don't know what I would do if I did not have RA,osteo and fibro but I am certain life would have been easier, my career would have launched and not being in constant, chronic pain would be taken for granted I am sure of it. Geesh my teeth wouldn't have cracked and so I would have no caps!
Dunno, one thing is for sure, If I didn;t have RA I would have never dove into research and studied so intensly about the disease, nor would I know as much about medications as I do now.
I do know that I would be much more active and do so much more like try skiing, and just everything instead of being so cautioned about bones breaking.
I guess I need to think a bit more on that. Good topic!
jode
Before I had RA, I dreamed and worked towards having my own design and publishing company. I wanted to write and publish my own books.
Since RA, I would change those goals to owning a horse ranch, riding horses, hunting down cowboys, traveling, traveling, traveling...did I say traveling, going to visit my wonderful Uncle and Aunt who've kept me going on a daily basis, seeing my best friend from grade school who lives in Montana (where I'd absolutely love to live). I'd hit all the art galleries in the state. I'd stay up painting through the night, forget to eat. Write. Write. Write. And become the biggest, meanest Disability Advocate on earth. If I got bored with all that, I'd run for President and rock this world.
We are fantasizing here, right?