Hi Everyone:
Peace and low pain--
Not too sure i have encouraging words on this as it's something I deal
with a lot of myself. So many people think they can make remarks
about me parking in a handicapped spot because of my age and relative
healthy looks. One time my hubby got assaulted over it. Guy
shoved him down and hit him with his van. So now, my standard
response when people make rude remarks is, if you don't like where I've
parked legally, then call the police on me, but you'll look like an
idiot because a) they probably won't respond and b) it's my right as
someone who is deemed handicapped by a doctor to park here. you
can't see what's wrong with me so don't make judgements unless you know
me.
it's still a pain and very hurtful. i also had one friend who
when i asked him to park in a handicapped spot for me refused as there
was a spot nearby. his comment, you can't mean to tell me 10 feet
makes a difference. i bit my tounge on that one as he is a good
friend. but, i wanted to snap that yes 10 feet can make a huge
difference some days.
hugs, wayney
I guess i will have to be honest in saying-until diagnosed with RA-AND in pain from it ,stiff and so fourth.I would watch someone drive in a parking space get of their car and would walk perfectly fine.I would think to myself they must be using somebody's wheelchair parking sign,they certainly don't have anything wrong with them.Now I do not Judge,because I don't know,i might of witnessed a good day.People don't know-like myself if there is a problem.I learned.My neighbor thought there was something wrong with my back,because on my really bad days the way I walk.I told her i had RA(I was shocked she actually knew about RA)wish my father in law did.Can't get it through his head that this is not just arthritis,and yes I do need these medicines for it.But like I said I did learn my lesson in be judge mental.Sherry
Elna;
I'm real sorry that happened to you. THe only word I have to describe this man is Idiot!! What a jacka$$ to say something so cruel to someone he knows absolutly nothing about. It's bad enough we have to deal with the crippling effects of this disease without having to also deal with the ignorance of people like that.
Sounds to me as if he is just lazy...and jealous that he can't park up closer verses walking further through the parking lot.
If only these people knew that we'd gladly change places with them if given the opprotunity. Do they think we enjoy being handicap?
Ok; I take that back...I don't think I'd want to be like that ignorant man healthy or not!!
Elna; unfortunatly for all of us, it's just another things we have to learn to live with.
If I haven't welcomed you to the group...WELCOME. We're glad you're here. Keep coming back; as you'll learn, you are not alone in these daily struggles.
Hope your day gets better!!
Lovie
The guy is a jerk. Simple as that. He sounds like a bitter man who isn't happy with his life. Be glad you do not have his heart of anger. To live with that much anger and bitterness inside of him no doubt affects his quality of life, much more than your illness affects yours. Take comfort in that. He's a bitter man who will die lonely and without friends. You have a gentle soul and will prosper through life. Love and hugs, JuliahPeopel don't think before they talk and no that man had no right to say what he did to you. You have a disability that makes it hard for you to walk. I have a handicap sticker, I don't use it all the time, but when i do i get the same looks and have had some comments made at me and I just ignore it. meme
I've never had anyone do anything but give me a funny look. Someday, someone will say something, I'm sure. (I have to say that I make it worse sometimes, because often I'm smoking as I get in or out of my car--so I get the "handicapped?" and the "stupid smoker!" look at the same time.) Sometimes, I feel like I should pretend to be more obviously handicapped than I am, as I get out of my car. Don't know if I'll manage to get anything out of my mouth if someone says something to me, but if my mouth works, I plan to just ask them if they'd like to trade diseases. Going into detail of what your disease is would be pointless. I got the plates, actually, due to my having MS--they just come in handy when I'm having a bad day with my RA. The MS is as invisible as the RA.
A friend and I go shopping sometimes, and are aware of strangers' reactions to the plates. So we sit in the car for a few seconds before we get out, bolster our attitudes, look at each other, and say--"Who's going to limp this time? You or me?" Gets us to giggling...
We should all come up with one-liners to throw at the idiots. I think many of us would be too stunned to say much more than a few words. Anyone got any good ones?
Elna,
I have to agree that people don't think before they speak. I think we have all had people look at us with "the look" or say something mean or insensitive. With some I believe it is insecurity. With others I believe they have not yet come to the lesson they must learn in life that will teach them how to be compassionate and non-judgemental. I find that most of the time people don't even realize how hurtful they have been by what they've done or said. Depending on the person and sometimes on my mood...I will either tell them how I feel about what they have done or said or I simply ignore it.
Peace & Love...Neasy
I've had this happen a couple of times. Once was with my own sister-in-law. We were all attending my nephew's Christmas Program at Church, and it happened to be on one of my bad days. I was having trouble walking that day, so I parked in the handicapped spot, hung my permit from my mirror, got out of the car... just in time to hear my sister-in-law yell, very loudly for all to hear, "So where's the wheelchair?" I could have died on the spot. I was so angry I almost turned around and left. Another time was when I stopped at a local convenience store, parked, hung my permit, got out, and had the "gentleman" two spaces down from me yell to me that I was parked in the handicapped spot! I went into the store and told the Manager (who I knew, and she knew him) that the next time she saw him to please inform him that I have a permit for my disability that allows me to park there.
Cris
Elna, people are idiots! I have a handicapped tag, and I have no shame using it when I need it! I don't care what people say or how they look at me. I have gotten dirty looks from older people who probably think I shouldn't have one because I'm a lot younger, but why should I be ashamed to use something that's going to help me? Some people have never grown out of that childish phase that should have ended at age 5 or 6, the phase when you are jealous of everyone and say whatever is on your mind. Just ignore them, if they have a problem, don't make it yours!
I was on a trip for work a few months ago, and I stopped in a Bath & Body works to browse and buy a few things. As I was paying for my items, the woman at the cash register gasped, "Oh, my God! Look at your hands! They are a mess! You need lotion right now! Doesn't that hurt, to have your hands that red?" I wanted to crawl under a rock and hide. I had a lot of swelling and redness that day, and I didn't feel like explaining why, so I just let her give me some lotion and crawled out. She meant well, but it was embarassing. That's one occasion where although it was a cruel remark to me, the person really didn't know better so I let it go.