A house to live in. I am tired of living in this darn ol' tin box. I want closets! I want more room for junk to be stored aka kids junk.
It is like wanting a child. You drool over just about every house you see that you think is nice and then when you realize you cannot have one because of the money you do not have or the responsibility you will have to taking care of it and you cannot even keep a tin box pristine, let alone a house with more rooms and room.
I wish I could work... maybe that is the reason for why I only got SSI. Maybe I am suppose to be able to go back to work. I know why I only got SSI, because I am low income, I did not have enough work credits, and I am "too young" for SSDI. But I am considered disabled... Nice.... NOT! I would like to have more out of life.
Yesterday, hubby brought up that this May he will have been out of school for 10 years. I asked him if he felt like he wasted his time going to school, because he has a job that anyone with a GED could get and not have gone all the way thru high school. He said no, because he did attend college and if he was not so lazy he could go back and get a better education and get a better job. It is not true that it is because he is lazy... that is just his excuse... I think it has to do with me. I know he has been taking me and my RA into consideration when he has to decide something that might affect me, but that is only within the last year or so that he has been doing that, before he could have gave a rats ass about how it would affect me and that I would get over it.
As for me I think I wasted my time going to school. I mean the job I had, I could of had it even without going to school. And I have an extra year of school added to my schooling as I had to repeat kidnergarden because I was out sick from my JRA so much. I just feel like I wasted my time going to school. Next May will be my 10th year of being out of school. And well... I do not have anything to show for it.
If I could work... I would be able to have a house, and not this old tin box we have been living in since we got married. The mortgage on the ol' tin box might be cheap, but a house is better.
Hey... I might be going thru a mid-life crisisIt's funny what we wish for....I was diagnosed one month after buying a house. I wish I wouldn't have bought the house...but hindsight is 20/20. So far, it has worked out. I'm still able to work and make the payments. Someday, that may not be the case.
Lori
joonie, your situation is so common but a lot of people don't realize how low SSI pays. That's what my daughter is on and she can't even afford an apartment on her own.
I live in a tin box, too. But I am so grateful for it (not implying that you shouldn't still be frustrated). I never thought I would own anything ever again. It is so much better than living in an apartment. It's quiet and I have my privacy but that's because I was able to sneak in under the age requirement for a Senior Mobile Home park.
I absolutely loved it even though it is very old, 1970. Then my daughter moved it and it got small so fast. I cannot imagine how difficult it is for a family to live in one.
But, to the point, I never ever thought that I would ever have this because of my finances and a bankruptcy already from medical bills. But I feel like it was gift straight from God. The manager was selling it for the back rent which was under the amount of my tax return. I only pay the lot rent now. I moved in here shortly before my health took such a nose dive. Being here has been a lifesaver for me.
I often think that I will never have the things I need any more. I do now dream of a bigger place. There are programs out there to help you get home ownership. HUD has a specific program for the disabled. Mostly that's rentals. I don't know why the government thinks that is all the disabled deserve. However, some cities have programs to help new homeowners get their first house. In Phoenix, there are neighbors that they are trying to rennovate and so they offer special financing, etc. to help get people into their homes. In Mesa, they have a program that you go to classes and setup accounts including financial advising that will help meet some of your expense in getting into a home. And don't forget Habitat for Humanity.
It is possible to have your dream and your ache for it is clear. When I got this place, I just walked into it on faith. It was about 00. Now, who can get a place to live for that low? Yet, it has become a home. I stepped into on faith with no knowledge of whether things worked or not. But it has been a Godsend in so many ways.
I hope you find your dream and encourage you to try all avenues.
Joonie; since the day I came here you have always had a negative; can't have, can't do additude. Ever heard the saying "Can't never could"? I've found it to be 100% true. In my life I've found that having a dream, a vision and not straying from that vision has brought me a long, long way.
I'm not saying my life is perfect or I get everything I've ever wished for; but I've come a long, long way since I got "Knocked up" at age 18 and started living in what could only be compaired to your "Tin Box".
I don't mean to kick you when you are down.....but I'm not going to sit her and stroke you and agree with the negative thoughts that you let consume you either. What I'm saying is only meant in friendship.
Let your job as of right now be to work on your additude. In vision yourself being more. Disability can only hold you back if you let it.
"If your mind can conceive it, and your heart believe it then you can acheive it." I'm living proof that this can work.
In friendship,
Lovie
Joonie, I have great empathy for your situation. I can't even comprehend having Ra as a child growing up. I think your pretty tough...what are now 25. The struggles that you have gone through, the obstacles that you have faced, and overcame must have given you true strength.
I grew up in a extremely abusive home, and came out stronger.
I agree with all the words that Lovie wrote to you. Please take them to heart. She is right having a dream, and focusing on it can take you along way. Please don't feel hopeless, and please vent when you need to... it probably helps.
As for your schooling...YES, it was worthwhile! Your a literate, intelligent woman, and your kids definitely benefit from that.
I don't know what part of the Country that you live in, but if you have a FHA office you guys might qualify for a low cost home. Maybe you could give it a shot. They base your payments on your income.
Just an idea.
I qualified for one here in Tennessee back in 1990. I was a single mom at the time, and the house was pretty nice. The payments low.
Just check into all possible options and don't give up on your dream of having a house.
And, about that midlife crisis...I'm there at 44. The next 25 years of your life may be your best!
Ginni
Lovie, I think it is fairly common for those of us that have RA and otherI don't mean to suggest that I don't ever have negative thoughts. Sure; of course I do. But I've learned to recognize them as that and have also learned to counter act them with positive ones. The mind is extremely powerful and the images you project into your mind daily are those that come to pass.
The housing suggestions are excellent ones Joonie. Get excited about these ideas and run with them. Don't let fear hold you back. You have little to loose.
Joonie, they do have special programs to particulary help families that have member that are disabled. In some ways, you may be in a better position to get your dream. Or, I found that there were programs to winterize and fix things around my home. I don't qualify for them this year, but next I might. I also spend a lot of time looking at magazines and when up to it sites like Better Homes and Gardens or MarthaStewart.com. The last if really good because they archive all their ideas. It's really a good site for all kinds of things. These things help me think of ideas of how to make my current sitation much more enjoyable. One thing that helps is to get rid of the unnecessaries. I was fortunate to have two sheds on my place. I put a lot of stuff my daughter brought with her so I could make room for using my chair. I still want to move out some of the things we aren't using. She's a pack rat, big time, so I just can't rid of things. But they can go boxed up and out of sight.
Let the place you live in be an adventure and make it as much a sanctuary from the world as is possible. Then, work for that dream.
I too want a house. We were on the track to get one before I gotI don't know about other parts of the country, but in Phoenix they have a program with special rates for teachers and police so that they will stay in neighborhoods. I don't know how well this works out or the quality of the areas.
As far as your credit history, check with different lenders. Some will take in consideration a divorce like that. Just be upfront with them when you are applying. Do check for special programs in your area. I know they also have these programs for teachers in CA.
I would never take anything Lovie says the wrong way... I have "known" her for almost 2 years now. She is never one to "pet" someone when they feel like I do, but she does give a swift kick in the butt
I did not post for sympathy, or anything of the kind. Was just posting to get something out of my head. We were looking at houses on the internet that were listed by realtors in our area middle of last year (06). There were a few I would have liked to of tried to get, but that was impossible as we have credit card debt and we just paid off 2 1/2 credit cards with our tax refund. So, now I have been looking at houses for sell again, and well there are none I like within our price range and the ones they do have do not have enough bedrooms or even room. For a house like that we might as well stay in our ole tin box and keep a lower monthly payment.
I do not know what I want to do. I want to try to work and see if I can suck it up my RA problems and just do what I need to do. Or just not work at all, because I have not worked in almost 8 years. I was thinking maybe I can take this year as my year to get as better as I could with my RA and meds and all. Then next year son will be off to preschool so he can learn how to function in a school environment. Which somone will have to come up with that money for him to go. So, I was thinking next year I will try my hand at working if my RA is finally under control and I feel I am able to suck it up. I just need to work on getting my driver's license
But that is what all I thought about at 5am to 7am this morning and then finally fell asleep.
Baby steps. Just set one goal at a time Sweetie. You can do it. Believe in yourself.
Glad you didn't take offense to my ramblings. Try to remember that nothing in life worth being proud of is easy and sometimes to see things chance in your life you have to first change somethings within yourself.
Keep your chin up.