Musings: attachment | Arthritis Information

 

Musings from the Sanctuary: attachment

 

I’m reading a book called, “Breath by Breath”, by Larry Rosenberg.  It’s a book about insight meditation, often called mindfulness meditation, based on Buddhist teachings.  The following story from the book made me stop and think. I constantly struggle with the fear and anxiety that a chronic disease like RA creates…what will the future bring?...will it get progressively worse?...is my “normal” life over?...etc.  The natural reaction is to try to find something solid we can cling to…and attach ourselves to it, creating an illusion of permanence to suppress the fear.  It might be family, medical research, doctors, friends, positive thinking, magic herbs…whatever!  Does it really help to form such attachments?  Here’s the story:

 

“The most dramatic story I know about attachment comes from India and has to do with the way Indians capture monkeys to use as pets.  They attach coconut husks to stumps and inside the husk they put a nut, with a few other goodies around the husk as bait.  The monkey is attracted, eats the bait, then reaches into the husk to get the nut.  In doing so he makes a fist, with the result that he can’t get his hand out of the husk.  His captors come up and take a hold of him.  If he would let go of the nut he could go free.  There’s no scarcity of food; he’s in the jungle and there’s plenty all around.  Often the monkey is quite terrified as the captors approach, but he still doesn’t let go – ignorance and greed collaborate to produce suffering.  If he would let go of his attachment, he would avoid the suffering.  But he doesn’t.  Now and then a monkey grasps the situation clearly, let’s go, and escapes to freedom.  What kind of monkey are you?”

 

In our case it’s not ignorance and greed that cause suffering, it’s fear and anxiety. The author asserts that it is our attachments to illusions of who we are that cause suffering…if we could let go and accept the changes in our circumstances and the subsequent effects on our lives we could alleviate our suffering.  Impermanence is a fundamental characteristic of life that we can’t avoid, no matter how hard we try.  It seems to me that taken to extremes this attitude toward life could make a person too fatalistic, but I think there’s value in the author’s point. In my case, I think it means to not keep focusing on what I used to be able to do, let it go, and focus on what I can do today…because in a year or two that might be gone too.  I can’t depend on someone else to “fix it” for me.  I have to live in the moment and find fulfillment in each day’s unique experiences…like writing this essay!

 

I hope you find peace and joy in your life,

Alan

I still want the nut...I am fighting for the nut... until I am the nut. But you knew that already.

No, letting go is the right idea but the art is hard to master. The PT helps me regain what I lost. The tremors take it away again and I have to rework to regain what I lost. I miss the job. I miss the challenges. I miss going out to lunches, having some money. I miss sitting in the theatre to watch movies. I remember faintly hiking and going on adventures. It's all changing. I'm building a new life, but sometimes I still want that nut.

Alan - I really enjoy your musings & I always contemplate what you say & most often agree.   Today has been a hard day for me so I think - I am not a monkey, life is probably black & white for monkeys & for better or worse we humans are cursed with a rational thinking process. I know in my heart if I could just accept what life has thrown at me it all may be simpler to deal with but then the reality of dealing with
problems that RA brings, for me, just seems to bring on fear and anxiety and for me the future seems very scary.
I do so admire those who can live in the here & now but
to me it is more survival than greed that is the motivator.
You certainly give us lots of think about.
Cassie
PS You still haven't told Deanna & I if you have a brother!!I love your post and am looking for the book. Thank you.

Alan,

I have read alot of buddist's teachings, and wholeheartedly agree, that if we could grasp, the entire concept of being whom we are at the present, without looking back. Then life would be an easier journey.

I think that we must accept what we have lost, and appreciate what is left to us.As you pointed out ...we may have even less in the future, but perhaps our future holds more than we imagine.

Live for the present.

Deanna- you made me laugh..I also would like that nut!

 

2 brothers and 1 sister

"cursed with rational thinking"...I like that, and agree, it's impossible to turn off.  We're incessantly calculating the different options and computing the odds...even when it's pointless!  We so quickly fall into the "what if.." mindset and I do think it often causes sufferering; if only we could just let it go.

"perhaps our future holds more than we imagine"...I like that thought.  I am an optimist and am often amazed that things turn out as well as they do!

Letting go is "hard to master".  I think part of the problem is that in our culture letting go has become synonymous with giving up.  I don't think it's the same thing at all.  You can let go and still desire and seek the "nut"...maybe it's a different kind of nut though; something unexpected.

Alan

Alan, thanks for the reminder. It's true. All true.

This week I'd smack anyone who tried to take that darn nut away from me. I don't even have the nut--I'm just trying to scrabble around and get it back after I've lost it.

Some weeks I'm a lot better at detachment. Maybe that will be next week!

"I still want the nut...I am fighting for the nut... until I am the nut."

An image just popped into my head...ever see the animated movie "Ice Age".  There's a squirrel that's obsessed with hanging onto a nut and spends the whole movie losing and re-capturing it...perhaps a lesson there?  Sorry Deanna...hope you don't think that you remind me of a squirrel.

Alan

No, that's exactly what you should picture. Man, I'm holding onto that nut so tight that I cause an entire Ice Age. Geez, talk about stubborn and single-focused. But yeah, I get that way sometimes.

In reality, I have given up my original nut, more than once. I have new dreams that get modified with time. But I do remember fondly that early nut and will always, ceasingly, remain, the nut.

Oh, and you didn't say, did you notice Cassie, whether his brothers were married. We're just kidding you Alan. You sound like a wondeful person and I personally respect your fine mind and love of beauty. I envy your ability to reach calmness, one of my failings on so many days. Don't change a thing about you.

Was wondering when you would notice Deanna.
Sorry Alan, this is just gentle teasing, I agree with
Deanna's comments about you and if I wasnt thousands of miles away & had the energy for a social life who knows! One brother each Deanna - & I imagine they would be just as nice as Alan.   Things have gotten a little heavy around here lately so it's fun to lighten up a little.
Copyright ArthritisInsight.com