I am fairly new here and I do more lurking than I do posting. I am going to go out on a limb and post this though.
I have no idea who moder8tor or Heffner101 is. They seem to have some issues and feel that they need to come here to release them. I also notice that these type of posts seem to get the most hits. I guess everyone loves a good drama?
I am wondering why people go off and start a different site but continue to come here. That just confuses me. It's like moving to a different place because you did not like your neighbors but you keep going back to visit them. Why move in the first place?
So many questions, so few answers.
[QUOTE=Disgusted123]It's like moving to a different place because you did not like your neighbors but you keep going back to visit them. Why move in the first place?
[/QUOTE]
I personally have not started any other sites; but I have joined others and enjoy being an active member at other sites. It doesn't mean I don't like it here though.
My favorite site is 4ratalks. I think we all get different things from different sites. I go to 4ratalks to visit friends that don't come here....but I also go there for excellent advise. Researched advise. Whenever I have an important question it's the first place I go. I know that with in 10 minutes I'll have a response to my question that is helpful and informative. I also know that I can come back the next day and I'll have several people asking how I'm doing. People checking on me to see if I'm ok. Besides excellent advise their baord is moderated by active members and it's organized in a fashion that I find calming. Their are friendships being formed there that I find to be very helpful in my daily struggles with RA and all that goes with it. My friends at 4ratalks know I mingle here and I'm happy to say that never once have they made me feel like it's a bad thing to do that. It's not a popularity contest. They don't shun me for hanging out here too. Why would they? I also find discussions on other issues that interest me besides RA. I can go there and post about my favorite Soap and know that at least 5 other people are intereted in that as well. Recipes.....Whatchya cooking tonight? Just because we have RA doesn't mean that's all we have on our minds. It's a positive experience and I cherish it.
I visit here because I still have good friends here as well that don't visit 4ratalks. It's ok if this is their "Home Site". I like it here too. I think it's all about options. Everyone likes options; and I for one am glad we have them.
And lastly; I can always count on AI to offer some childish drama that I can't find anywhere else. Am I ashamed to admit that I often enjoy the entertainment that goes on here? No~not really. I know that if I want to see it I can.....and when I want to skip it; I often do. No harm in that in my opinion.
Right on ari33 and disgusted. They do control with silly messages that have nothing to do with our disease. Members tell them how smart and cute they are and before long, they actually believe it! Oh well......ARI,
Why don't you tell the WHOLE story, instead of just part of it?
NOt everyone disagreed or blasted you. There were many that supported your message of positive thinking.....have you forgotten that?I have many friends in many places and i like to go to visit , its the same here , i belong to other places but i also have people who have been supportive on here. Like anywhere you will meet the friends who you like and the ones who you dislike, its our own choice who we talk to and you dont have to talk to anyone you dont want to.
Sorry, no, I haven't forgotten any who agreed or who were supportive of my suggestion of positive thinking. Thanks to each of you.
Phatgirl, I really don't understand what it is you are asking of me. If I remember correctly, you were on the forefront of the blasting.
Right now, on this day, I was hoping I would come here and find my friends that I have come to love and care about. I know that there are still plenty that do because they have been here day after day. But when I come here and I see nasty messages that are just bent on tearing others down, it just makes me feel more depressed.
I don't understand the amount of anger that is unleashed here. I come here because I care about people and there are people here from many different areas, parts of the world, different backgrounds who have given me such caring words and thoughts. I've been to other sites and have liked them as well. But I usually come here first because this is where I have the most friends and this is where most newbies come first looking for some kind of answer, some kind of reassurrance. And, I hope that I have said things that have helped them.
But this bantering back and forth, this blaming is so destructive. Today, I was hoping it would be different. Right now, I could use a little bit of the caring side of people and a little less of the self-righteous garbage that seems to keep creeping up.
Are we all not sick here, and hurting? Today, I needed friends not angry words. I am hurting from surgery and I was hoping that I would come here and be cheered up a bit. Instead, I hear bitter words from a few that seem to want to split this place apart.
There is no point in going over wrong or right here. How about instead trying to show some care and some giving. I don't care that there are multiple boards or that someone else comes and goes. I like the fact that we are different people with different backgrounds.
Can't it just be a little more kind? Some people should be ashamed at how they tear others up. But I'm not going to point out who those people are. Your own hearts should know the truth.
Today, I just wanted some peace, a touch of comfort when I am feeling so much physical pain. And I know that is what most people are hoping for when they come here.
Please quit fighting. Remember what loving is, and kindness.
Well said, Deanna.
I don't post here often either but I have to say I don't exactly feel like there is a control group - there is a group here who posts more but who's fault is that - everyone has the same opportunity to post so if the lurkers started posting that wouldn't be an issue either. I don't post much because usually what I would have said someone else had already brought up, but I do get lots of info and tips, and advice here - I am constantly amazed at the info I find here and one of the posters that always seems to come up with an answer to help others and find links to answers is arriscowell - No we are not best buds I actually hardly know her at all - that is just one member so think of all the info you learn from the members who do post and instead of saying they are the bosses or the in crowd or whatever be grateful they do post instead of just lurk - and as far as the posts that have nothing to do with RA - well thank heavens for that too because think how boring your life would be if only one subject was constantly being dwelled on and no other subject allowed. I am another that has my "home" board - a place where I feel I truly belong and am comfortable posting at. I got to that feeling by posting and making friends and joining in - if you don't do those things you will always feel a bit left out. I don't agree with everything every person writes there but don't cry about it either. You don't have to agree with every member and every post so post away and see what info you get and give and what friends you can make here. Also remember you don't have to attack another person to stand up for your rights and beliefs. Good luck - with this disease we all need support and friends (and a little drama here and there never hurt either).Hugs and good vibes. Well said Deanna - this board has been disappointing for me lately and while I believe & enjoy that everyone has their different opinions I would like to think postings are made with care and compassion, after all this is a site for people with chronic illnesses and we are here to support each other and not judge each other.
WTG DEANNA!!
This was the first place I came to for answers when I was diagnosed with RA. Deanna, you were the first of of many nice people who welcomed me and answered many of many questions.
I don't read all the drama that happens around the board. It's all so high school.
I hope you are recouping well after your surgery. Keep on posting you have benefited alot of people who really appreciate your knowledge and kind words.
CinDee
Well said Deanna , 2manyaches and ninilchicken. There seems to be a sudden influx of folks trying to tear down what has been a solid group of friends. 3 in as many weeks. It seems strange that they all come out at once.
This board is my favourite although I go to sushi too. We all have different groups of friends in life so why can't we have different groups in forums. I hang out with my church friends, I hang out with my group of mums that started when our kids were babies, I hang out with family, I hang out with friends from work. It doesn't mean I don't want to be with one group when I'm with another. Different groups of friends meet different needs.
I have made friends here, I gave gained advice here, I have been given a shoulder to cry on here. It doesn't mean its the only place I come. I don't feel this is a place that has a forum nazi mentality. We are all here for the same stuff so lets just keep being friends and mentors to each other.
Pammy,
It's not strange that we have had 3 in as many weeks. It is all the same person! A pathetic troll who has nothing better to do. I will NOT apologize for "bashing" someone who is here solely to stir the pot. If this person was ligit, it would be a different story. You can read their first posts and see that they are nothing but losers...pot stirrers.
Lori
what proof do you have that Aris is not legit? None whatsoever. You decided you didn't like what she said therefore she must be a troll. Can't someone have a dissenting opinion around here? Its this kind of crap..yours not Aris that drives lurkers and newbies away. If they say something deemed wrong they are going to be trashed.
As for modera8ter and hef I would look at someone who has been around here for some time...that kind of anger doesn't come from a newcomer
Buckeye, Bucksmack, Buckoff, Buckjackoff,
Whoever you are...go back from which you came.
As I said many, many, many times (although apparently not enough times for you to comprehend), it wasn't what Ari said, it was how it was said. I agree, that a positive outlook is half the battle. It was the delivery. Do you understand? Do you get it? Did it get thru your buckeye thick skull?
It's people like you that piss everyone else off.
Buckeye~I personally agree with you. I wouldn't call this influx of grudge holding newbies Trolls/troll I'd say we've got what I think maybe should be referred to as a Mole. Someone on the inside....someone that's been a round long enough to have hard feelings for what ever reason. Someone that doesn't easily get over something when they feel like they've been wronged for whatever reason.
People don't just join forums and then all of the sudden begin to bash them and come to conclusions about certain people unless they've been around a while and have allowed an issue to fester. Like that Voodoo person we had not too long ago.....that was really random; or was it?
And Phatgirl.....you seem extremely ANGRY about the whole ordeal. Why is that? Granted we all get a little annoyed by all of it; but you seem to be taking it all just a little too personally for some reason. Did I miss something?
The only one who is pissed off is you.
You appearently must resort to childish name calling and insults since you obviously cannot dispute the facts of my statements
Thank You Lovie.
I don't usually get involved in argruments like this. It just really bothers me when someone such as Aris gets trashed because of her statements. To me a forum should be a place where all opinions can be shared freely without anger. Disagreements will happen but should be handled in an adult manner
I agree.Lovie,
For someone who doesn't like this board, you sure are getting your snout in the middle....
I'm not taking it personally, honestly, I think it is funny. What a loser that has to come on this board under many different names and stir the pot. Hell, they might be one in the same as kokonuts, who knows. I'm just bored and needed a little entertainment. But, I'm bored with you two too.
Buckoff, how do you know Aris is a girl? I don't recall any posts indicating Aris is a girl.
Lovie and Buckoff/Jackoff, you can both kiss off. If you look at all of my posts, with the exception of these losers (buckoff, ari, etc) they are ALL very supportive. It is losers like these that get me going, especially when they attack people on this board who have had a really rough time of it and need our support. Those people are Deanna, Roxy, etc. I don't care if you think I'm taking this personally...I won't miss a wink of sleep no matter what you think.
Hell buckoff, you and Lovie could be the same, who the hell knows? You both think a like
I believe my post was hijacked. But thats ok. I would like to say that Phatgirl, you are very rude. Ari, I went back and read your original post about thinking positive. I have to agree with you. Three cheers for you.
By the way, I am not a troll. I just asked a legitimate question.
WOW!
I have no "home site". I use to, but ya know. I have yet to find another "home". It's not that I do not like it here, it is just that I do not really feel like I can be myself here. Besides I do not really have much to say... hence why I make off topic posts. I do not really care to share to much about how my RA affects me, unless I get fed up with something. I do not care to share my life with everyone, as in the past I had and was being judged and told I was a neglectful mother & wife. That is just not something I care to hear from others, as those are my very thoughts, but not my families thoughts.
So... hope everyone feels better soon and everyone gets in a better mood... not directed at any one person, just everyone in general, as I have not been feeling good or in a good mood as of lately.
I miss you Joonie...come back when you can,
Lori
I never said I didn't like this board.....I'm a huge fan here. I think everyone knows that.
Yep, Lovie you have made that clear to me, for the last 2 years bump PHATGIRL2 - Name calling just resorts in more name calling and this form of posting is so angry. Ari posted something he/she was feeling and i think its been mis-interpreted. We all have different thoughts, some of us get more down than others and some of us are more upbeat, I suppose depending on the severity of our disease.Ari's post wasnt necessarily nasty but yours are getting like that and thats a shame as you have given me some good advice in other posts
Pincushion,
I have the opinion that Ari was/is a troll. That is my opinion. That person stirred up a whole bunch of nonsense (that I should have been smart enough to click on thru) and then disappeared. I have no reason to think based on what I have seen from this poster or what I believe is the same poster with different screen names that Ari was misunderstood. That is my opinion. The same goes, if you don't like what I write, click thru it.
Take a read on what modr8r posted on their last couple of posts. That is the kind of thing that gets me going. I have been on here for months and never posted or go involved in these types of posts. But enough is enough.
Every person on here has the same option of opening a post, reading a post, closing a post and responding to a post. Why don't we all exercise that right?
I'm sorry, pin cushion, that you felt it necessary to bring to my attention the fact that you think I was rude. If you can't look at my track record for the posts that I post and keep this particular post in CONTEXT, then that is your problem.
Phatgirl
Sorry you missed the point. was trying to say that you have given me some good advice and support on other posts and for that i thank you.Dont lower yourself to name calling, just ignore the ones you want to and chat to the ones you like.Gotcha,
Thanks...
Phatgirl
I miss you guys so much since I have been flaring. Please keep this board going until I can participate again. Don't burn bridges to support and good advice. AI is my home and I really depend on it.