I'm a tad frustrated. I'm a tad pissed. I've mentioned before that I've come across more than a few people that think RA is OA, or that you aren't really sick, because you don't look sick. It just hasn't been worth trying to educate someone, I'm new at this and learning myself. I know what type of person I am though, not a whiner, not an attention seeker. I miss my old life. I was active.
So here's the thing that put me over the edge. I'm at a party, of course the only one not drinking, and this idiot neighbor of mine gets on this soap box in the center of "my crowd", and goes on and on and on about people with auto-immune diseases caused their own diseases because they didn't take care of themselves. OMG, I was standing there, chin on the floor dying inside. She just kept going and going and going. I couldn't even open my mouth. I was on the verge of tears yet wanting to toss her out the window. I was aggrivated with myself for not saying something, but new if I did I would be standing in the center of a party crying like an idiot.
So what shall I do when I see her? I'm not violent, lol, but want to kill her. I found myself fantasizing about her walking after the rain, me driving my car, aiming for the puddle, dirty water splashing all over her 'know it all' self. Hhhhmmmm.
I'm so sorry you went thru that. Unfortunately, some people are just uneducated when it comes to autoimmune diseases and chronic illnesses. We all know what you are going thru.
Lori
I still get this type of thing when I tell people that I have RA. There is always something I 'should' have done when I was younger, something I 'should' do now. Some potion, pill, supplement, vitamin, that would make me all better if I took it. Some healing meeting I should go to, or quack I should see. People just don't get it.
I would coolly speak to her next time we met and let her know how much her words and attitude had hurt me. Let her know a few basic facts about RA (or other autoimmune diseases) and suggest that she do some research (reputable) before ranting on about something. Not in a nasty way, but firmly let her know that she doesn't have a clue what she's talking about.
I'll hold her down while you pull her hair out!!!
(I hate mean people! and stupid mean people are even worse!)
Laura T
I think a lot of people blame others for causing their own illnesses or misfortune, because then they can feel safe that it won't happen to them. It comes from a place of fear and ignorance, not necessarily a place of meanness.
My mother-in-law's best friend Jane got breast cancer. My mother-in-law was always saying it was Jane's fault for smoking. My MIL had never smoked and felt she was healthy and "safe". Now this was her best friend she was talking about, someone she genuinely cared about, but she felt sadly, it was Jane's own fault that she had gotten cancer. Well guess what, my MIL got breast cancer just a couple of years later. Thankfully both Jane and my MIL made complete recoveries and my MIL never blamed Jane again LOL!
I think you should go to the military store and buy a machetti. Go home and paint your face with war paint. Sneak down to her house. Ring her doorbell and cut her into little bitty pieces. Sneak back home. Take a shower to remove all the blood. Burn the bloody clothes and don't forget to pour bleach down the drains. Or you could just splash her as you drive by her standing in front of a dirty puddle. Either or. You know i always think, what did i do to bring this on. Maybe i did do something. If i did i didn't do it on purpose. I think that the otc drug advertisements do us such an injustice. How many of them are like..........when my arthritis pain stops me, i just take 2 aleves and my pain is gone for 24 hours. They don't even say what type of arthritis they make it like all arthritis is the same. I could take a hundred aleves and feel no relief. Prednisone has a tendancy to makwe me over sensitive too. I have t be careful not to cry over a brady bunch rerun. Forget about it.
LEV
Oh I love some of the revenge ideas, give her a book to read on your disorder, make sure it explains what can happen as the disease progresses etc. Sit her down after she reads the book and tell her how she hurt your feelings with the way she talked at that party, sometimes people don't think before they talk and they need a good swift kick in the butt to make them realise how they hurt someone with what they said. memeMy boss is always telling me the magical cure for ra. Of course, its something new each week! That I really don't need to be going to so many doctors or taking so many pills because, after all I am only 36, how much pain can I be in????While it may be our own fault when we smokers get lung cancer but to be so cruel as to stand up and preach to that smoker is just horribly hurtful. Where did people get the idea that this rotten behavior is OK?
We don't say things like that to people injured in car accidents - even if they were partly at fault.
My favorite aunt had lung cancer. She never smoked. She worked in an ultra clean food lab where smoking was forbidden even in the 1950's. My uncle didn't smoke either. 3 out of 10 victims of lung cancer never smoked - so why is it ok to preach about fault?
If those blaming, finger pointing, idiots could just get one point through their thick heads - nowhere in the 10 commandments does it say 'Thou shalt not get sick'. Getting sick is not a sin, and it isn't a personality fault either.
Debra, Tell that BITCH that I have taken better care of myself all my life than most people I bet. Eat healthy, low stress, exercised hours each day, and I have severe RA. I could not have kept MY mouth shut - I would like to wring her neck
You might e-mail her a copy of an article on RA and tell her you have it and when she mouthed off the other night, you didn't want to embarrass her. Of course, she will probably never speak to you again but that might be a good thing
You all made me crack up...thank you. Just kidding - she is a putz and should be ignored. Hugs and good vibes.Well Debrakay, this is my take on my own situation. I lived on the edge
for 20 years. Overweight, didn't exercise, ate fast food, worked nights at
a stressful job as a nurse, raised 3 little girls by myself for 10 years....i
could go on and on. It could not have gotten any unhealthier. Always
took care of everyone else. Never focused on my own needs. I feel very
strongly that my lifestyle set me up and made it easier for me to get RA. I
got mono in the mid 90's and that is when it all went south. I really
believe this. It was not until I totally did a 180 with my lifestyle (when I
was diagnosed with RA) a year ago, that I got to feeling better. Things
are better now that I practice good nutrition....and am on medication. I
also see perfectly healthy people, that eat right, exercise every day, don't
smoke and drink and do drugs, on and on and on and they die from
cancer and get these auto immune diseases. It is a combo of many things
that brings this on. We have it, there is nothing we can do to get rid of
it....not even give it to our mother in laws, lol. So now we just have to
figure out how to treat it and make it more invisible. I have spent quite a
bit of the past year beating my self up for being so stupid and not taking
care of myself. Those days are over and life goes on and I'm gonna to the
best I can every day. That is all we can do.
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