The holy spirit of meanness | Arthritis Information

Share
 

It's hard to know how to respond to the ugliness that seems to be seeping through this board right now. It seems that some of those who are more fortunate in being able to keep their jobs, families, friends and most of their health feel that it is their duty to make fun of those who have had more of a struggle. They preach a gospel of "believing themselves well."

I want to see you fight for it, every day no matter what is thrown at you. Can you still be a decent human being when everything is stripped away from you? Evidently some of you cannot.

Sure, a positive attitude is a great weapon in the arsenol to survive. Believe me, I have one. I get up  every day and I start the battle again. I get knocked down and I stand up again. I don't take no for an answer or lay in the dirt because someone heartless has struck out out at me. No, I'm back in there everyday fighting for the best life I can have. Not only that, I am fighting for others you cannot fight for themselves. I don't give up and there is no better attitude than that.

How high and mighty you look with your words of cruelty. This is supposed to be a support forum not a place to throw stones. The cruelty of the few is poisoning this place. I cannot believe that someone would stoop so low as to say such cruel things to someone that just had surgery. Does this make you some grand prize? Are you leading us some place finer and better? I don't think so. You have embraced the most base elements of human nature. That is how you have chosen to be.

And there are those that think they their "cheery" attitude somehow lifts them higher than those who must struggle. You might have your job, your husband, most of your health, but someday it might not be there any more.

You may not want to hear it, but RA can kill you. Just because you are afraid of the truth doesn't mean it it is not the truth.

I have not be unkind here, yet there are those who have delibrately baited me so that they could make fun of me in front of their families. Well, I would rather be alone than be a part of any family that would hold up such an example.

I came here hoping for friendship and I found it in spite of a few ugly people. You cannot take that away from me. I don't need to try and ruin somebody else's life in order to make myself feel better.

Claiming that I have no support or insinuating that I am not deserving of support is a falsehood that you would like to perpetuate. There are people very dear to me. But I still struggle through many things alone. If you are so lucky to have family and friends surrounding  you when you are sick, I am happy for you. But there is no need to make me seem like some kind of crazy person.

I'm hell of a lot stronger than you any day of the week and you obviously know that. You are jealous of the caring words of the friends I do have here. But you never going to know true love or kinship with others because you don't know what compassion is. I feel sorry for you because in the end, you will receive what you are sowing.

This is a hard, lonely time for me. I am fighting for my health and to be the best person I can be under the circumanstances. But you fight for hatred. What a noble goal is this?

Why do you bother to come here if you life is so filled with love and affection? It can't be. Because a life that is filled with caring grows more caring.

You cannot destroy me with your words and you cannot chase me away with them either. Your true self shines out like a warning beacon and no one is going to be attracted to it. You might get a short thrill out of making me hurt right now. But I'm stronger than anything your shallow little mind can throw at me. Even sick, even in pain, even poor, even struggling, I am stronger than you on your very best day.

 

WTG DEANNA!!

GET BETTER SOON AND DON'T LET THE B.S. BOTHER YOU!

CINDEE

Deanna-dont ever let anyone tell you that you are alone for one minute...because you are on my mind every day...and I know that I am speaking for countless others that truely feel the same way too. You have been nothing but a true friend to veteran posters and newbies alike since the very first day you joined here. You are a bright and sweet person, and while you have to fight for a good many things...friendship is not one of them. You draw in friends with ease because of your honost nature and your kind heart. I believe in karma...and what goes around comes around...for you, good things are on the horizen...and for the people who have trashed so many well meaning members here...they will get theirs in due time. We love ya girl...and I know that you know that!!!!!  Deanna - you are a Star!!  Please take good care of yourself, and I know that you will be!!!  You couldn't do otherwise.  To use some of your own words - "YOUR true self shines out like a beacon". That's you Deanna, shining out on here on as a beacon to others always,  even when you are suffering.  I have the greatest admiration for you.  Peace!! Deanna - I Love You 

Deanna, I love you, too, Sweetie.

Know that your friends are here for you, and none of us need to have anyone speak down to us, or try to hurt those we care about.

You have many friends here, as is apparent by the answers you have received and will continue to receive.

I don't know many of you well, but I do feel that if I started a  thread needing help or encouragement here, a good number of friends here would be there for me.

I have recently thought of leaving the forum, because of all those who seem to want to belittle those of us with serious problems. But I just can't leave as long as I know there are people like you, Deanna, who always have a sweet encouraging word for anyone who needs it.

There are several here I feel a little closer to, even though I don't really know anyone. And I can't stand to read the comments from people who have no idea what this disease can really do. I will stay for those who need friends and those who have offered their friendship, generously, to all who want it.

Peace be with you, Deanna.

Big, gentle hugs,

Nini

 

It is that very reason why many of us stay...because there is a lot of  good here, a lot of good people...and there are so many new people looking for kindness. I am so happy to see that there are members not willing to be bullied into leaving or, well bullied into anything at all!I have just read Ari33s post on positivity - again.   Well I am sure if my friend who died 3 years ago from this disease knew all of this then her outcome would not have been so sad.   She tried everything she could, all the surgery and all the medications up to and including Remicade which was the latest wonder drug at the time.
This disease can kill and all the positive thinking in the world may or may not help but when you face dealing with this on your own, losing your job, finances, unsupportive family then it really hurts that those with all the support, finances, & reasonable health compared to some can judge those who do not have these things.
Do you ever stop to think how you would manage in that situation. A friend   said to me recently I couldnt manage in your situation - but I have no choice - I have to manage - please, some of you put yourselves in that situation. It was also said to me recently "A high station in life is earned by the gallantry with which appalling experiences are survived with grace".   It was
nice of that person to say that to me but I have too much celtic blood, red hair & 10 years of RA to believe in it but Deanna is always there for everyone and is helpful, kind and caring to those in need of help and I think that quotation is more appropriate to her than me so to those that are so keen to judge think how you would survive in similar circumstances.

Geez I am behind on my reading I guess...Deanna, you are not alone and you are always in our thoughts. RA is so darned hard and it is such a struggle for so many of us. Family is all I have and this board. Period. My sis and I may get in an argument on occassion but I will tell you what, it is my family and this board that have brought me through many of the most difficult times of my life.

Ignore those with a negative attitude, that is what I have to do when my mother goes into pessimistic moods...it is very difficult to endure, like you said, just like a bully. Well you know what, you do have more strength and courage than most people I have met throughout my life and you deserve  "better" circumstances in your life than what you have been dealt that is for sure.

.....oh, and remember...... every once in awhile you will come across a nice person, then maybe another one and  then another, the rest are mostly mean, selfish and miserable. Surround yourself with the nice ones.The mean ones are exactly just as you had stated, putting someone down so they feel better. Sick huh?

jode

deanna i just hope you are doing ok.

Deanna all I can say is 'ditto' to EVERYTHING written above.   You are the glue that keeps us all together so often.  I shudder to think where some of us would be if it weren't for you.  Hope your knees are improving daily.

Pam

Deanna

Please dont let the negativity get you down.....when I was first looking for a board that Would help me.....because I was am still are a rather timid introvert....I chose this board....I dont post much, but I read every day....and you are one of the reasons why I am here.

Your knowledge has helped me alot.

Stay positive hon.....thats what this board is really all about positive encouragement of each other...and sharing knowledge.

GOD BLESS

 

Deanna, I guess that I may have missed some reading as well.  But Deanna, how could you take all of this BS seriously.  My gawd girl, without you this board would be in deep trouble.  You are our star Deanna.  We look to you for all kinds of advice, medical or otherwise. I am sure that when you are feeling better that these messages will mean nothing to you. 
Sending a hug and a prayer your way.

Deanna,

I can't say anything that our wonderful members have already said.  You are wonderful, we are all wonderful.  You wrote an excellent post.  Know we are all here for you and always will be. 

Phatgirl

I know that there are such wonderful people here. That's because they have been keeping me going through one of the toughest times of my life. Everyone that wrote a note here, I recognize and I care about.

The part that hurt so much was not what they said about me because I know that was just meanness but the overall damage that they could do to destroy something special that collectively we all build together.

Words are some of the strongest tools we as humans ever possess. They can be used to inspire us to the greatest heights or to destroy. I choose to seek inspiration, to gather it in, embrace it. Life has been hard. But getting to know the hearts of the people here, I just didn't want to lose that. I put you each into my prayers. I try to remember the little details of your lives.

I'm not willing to walk away just because someone acts so horrendously. We have to hold tight to each other and be friends. Let's live in a world of acts of random kindness.

Thanks for encouraging me because I was hurt by the words. But all of you have proven what fine individuals each of you are. That is so much stronger than the acts of one random person.

Thank you. And, my knees are healing nicely. They are actually starting to look normal. Hey, they might even start looking sexy.

I also believe in Karma, you are a great person and things will get better.  I have chosen to ignore the nastiness although I do tend to read it just for the drama!  You know who your friends are and we all love you!  Hugs!!

Hi Deanna

[QUOTE=Deanna]

Thank you. And, my knees are healing nicely. They are actually starting to look normal. Hey, they might even start looking sexy.

[/QUOTE]

I am really delighted to hear that last bit!!!  Is it day 6? Now don't fall down, just keep healing!

Keep us posted on how your knees are doing.

Huggs!

Hey Deanna.  You would look sexy to me no matter how your knees heal
Copyright ArthritisInsight.com