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SSI Check ?

Does anyone know if they will raise my SSI checks for when I move? I mean the mortgage on the house will be double what we pay now, we will have increased monthly house insurance payment, water, garbage and a monthly gas bill now.

We knew it was going to put us at our limit, but I still need money for my meds and doctor visits and pay off doctors. Damn Medicaid still is not doing like it should!

joonie39147.559212963I don't know how all that works to be honest; but I kind of doubt it.

I am asking because when I applied they asked for all the nessecary bills, water, garbage, insurance, mortgage and a few others. And they said they calculate all that into determining your payments a month.

I will call tomorrow and ask.

DUH!!  No, of course not.  Otherwise everyone would overextend themselves financially and expect the taxpayer to pick up the bills.

That's kind of what I mean to kidlet.

Not that I'm not thrilled for you Joonie....I know how much you and your husband have been wanting a new home of your own instead of the trailer. But I think the finacial help from the government is meant to help you with living expenses...health care etx; not really mean to help you move up. I'm not sure I'm saying that right; but Kidlet's right.

If your assistance was increased everytime you moved to a more expensive home then there would be a lot less assistance there to go around to those that are in need.

I don't mean that to be offensive; just meaning that it's unlikely that it will increase.

SSI is based on income not expenses.




Are you kidding....??????  And they wonder why some people, such as I, are so skeptical of those persons who talk of their intent to apply for the disability program - because it is ABUSED.  AND because it is abused, those who are rightfully entitled are shortchanged and challenged beyond comprehension. 



Don't put joonie down, she is just asking a question. answer is no joonie it won't go up any with new home.

I was just asking... because they stated on my papers when I first got it, if I was to have a financal change either good or bad to report it within 15 days. I did not want to report it. I was just wondering if they are going to cut me off, because of the change. I do not want more money, I just want to keep my $221 a month I get now. That is all.

We are not getting a new house because we want to, we have to. You see we live on the same lot as the in-laws house, so if they sell to someone else we would have to move. We would have to pay $2000+ to move the trailer, and then we would have to pay for a new septic tank which is not cheap either. There is only 2 options either get kicked out on the "street" or move into their house and take over payment. We still owe on the trailer and in-laws are going to pay that mortgage for us until we sale it.

My husband is a taxpayer, I am entitled to my SSI check, I paid taxes when I worked as well. The state does not even pay for my damn medicines like they are suppose to, so I am not getting much out of this being disabled and you taxpayers paying for it. Because the way I see it ya'll are only giving me $221 a month and some months no money.

Ya'll should try living in a single tralier with 3 other people, which is less than 700 sq ft of space. Yeah, and then depend on your husbands family to pay for your water bill, garbage bill, giving you a free place to put your trailer, so you do not have to live with them and sometimes pay for your meds and doctor visits.

Yeah, I am sorry I even asked a question, I read thru my papers to see if I had to report we were moving, I just wanted to know if they were going to take what little money I have to myself to pay for my meds and when something comes up.

Yeah, thanks... some of you are really "nice".

Oh I see why ya'll are saying that now... I just reread my post... damn laptop! It has been deleting some of what I type because my hand accidentally hits the touchpad and it causes the curser to move.

Oh well.... it was to say "decrease or raise".

But anyways...


Are you kidding....??????  And they wonder why some people, such as I, are so skeptical of those persons who talk of their intent to apply for the disability program - because it is ABUSED.  AND because it is abused, those who are rightfully entitled are shortchanged and challenged beyond comprehension.


I agree with you. It is abused.

If the time came that I needed SSI, I would give up my internet and $5.00 tubs of cheesecake filling.
   I think I may be getting confused here--are you asking about SSI or SSDI---disability.  There's a big difference.  SSDI is a set amount you earned by working based on your amount earned and number of quarters worked. It does not go up or down depending on what your expenses are.

Uhhh... HELLO!! I go without cable, now paying $9.95 a month with a credit card is not much. My Tub of cheesecake filling is not $5 it is $3. and I eat it as my snack for the 2 weeks.

I do not abuse anything. I have thought about giving up my SSI check, but then there are days like today where I had to fork over $202 for overdraft fees.

It is not like I use my medicaid, I cannot get it to work. I could have abused the system and gave up my primary insurance and had the state pay for everything on my medicial, but I did not. I even asked the SS person that took my application if I could and she said I could let my primary go. I kept it to keep medicaid from having to pay for all. They have yet to even pay anything on my medicial.

So, whatever. I am DISABLED! I cannot get my SSDI, because I do not have enough work credits, like 2-3 shy and it is hard to get SSDI when you are so young.

You can tell who has money on this board and who does not. But ya know... I hope none of you have to ever feel what it is like to be DISABLED before the age of 30 and not be able to work or make your own income and depend on greedy taxpayers to help you make it thru another month.

To some degree, Joonie, I genuinely feel sorry for you and yet it isn't anyone's fault but your own that you are in the position you're in.  You obviously had children that you couldn't afford.  And yes, those tubs of junk that you habitually brag about eating cost money that could be put to better use.  In a recent post, you complained about being "over educated".  Oh, I don't think so, at least to judge from your grammer and spelling.  Now you are saying that you paid taxes when you worked.  Really?  How long did you work and how much did you pay into the system?  Since you are now collecting $221 per month and will, plus yearly increases, collect that for the rest of your life, I'd say that you pretty much hit the lottery.  It will surely be a lot more than you ever contributed.

I don't wish to be cruel but I get so tired of the 'entitlement' mentality.  Be grateful for what you get from the tax payer.  If you stop wasting money on trivialities, i.e junk food, you may just find that you can put a bit of money into savings.



Uhhh... HELLO!! I go without cable, now paying $9.95 a month with a credit card is not much. My Tub of cheesecake filling is not $5 it is $3. and I eat it as my snack for the 2 weeks.

I do not abuse anything. I have thought about giving up my SSI check, but then there are days like today where I had to fork over $202 for overdraft fees.

You can tell who has money on this board and who does not. But ya know... I hope none of you have to ever feel what it is like to be DISABLED before the age of 30 and not be able to work or make your own income and depend on greedy taxpayers to help you make it thru another month.


Poor thing, it must be hard going without cable.

Greedy taxpayers are paying your overdraft fees. Just be thankful those greedy taxpayers pay taxes or you wouldn't have a pot to pee in.
Kidlet that's such a poor attitude. She hit the lottery? Come on.

I stuggle every day helping my boyfriend LIVE another week. And he works. Know why he works? Because of people with opinions like yours. He's 23. He should be able to work and earn his stupid little credits, right? WRONG.

I'm SO very sorry that he was diagnosed with such a debilitating disease at only 16 years old. I'm so very sorry that he pushed himself SO hard to work, to try to get enough credits to get people like YOU off his back so that he can collect disability, so that he can actually LIVE a life. I'm so very sorry that every week we have to wonder if he's going to lapse, and have to be admitted back to the hospital for another week.

"If he's so sick, why hasn't he been approved?"

Because he doesn't have enough credits. PERIOD.

Now you tell me how someone who has been disabled since age 16 is expected to earn enough credits to receive disability? He's had at least 6 doctors file disability FOR HIM AND HE STILL GETS DENIED.

I'm sure Joonie is terribly sorry that she was dxed with this disease as a BABY and would take it back if she could. Pardon us. We'll try to make sure our kids don't fall ill, so that you don't have to help their poor souls later in life. God FOR-bid. You're damn lucky she was ever able to work to earn the "credits" that she did.

I'm sure my b/f is TERRIBLY sorry he was dxed at 16. I'll make sure he continues to push himself on a daily basis, making him pass out and losing weight on a daily basis, so that he can earn his little credits so you can rest at night. Don't worry, it won't be YOUR tax dollars paying for his disability one day, it'll be his own blood sweat and tears.

I hope it helps you sleep at night, wondering if he's going to die 15 years younger than you, because he was denied disability SO much that it damaged his quality of life. It sure doesn't help me.

Joonie bought junk food. Whoopie. So do all the lazy asses on food stamps (no not EVERYONE on food stamps are lazy, you KNOW which ones I'm talking about) Go waste your breath somewhere it counts.

Like fixing this DAMN system we claim as our healthcare. Now THERE'S a problem worth getting in a little tiff over.

Man, this entire THREAD is screwed up. Joonie didn't post her original question in the best fashion, but anyone with half a CLUE could have figure that one out. Wonder who the educated one is now.

I don't even know what else to say. I'm sure I've said enough, and I'm sure there's 8 people out there who are just gonna grab every little snippet they can to cling to and ream me on. Well, GO FOR IT. I've said it on posts before, it'd do as much good as beating your head into a brick wall. So be my guest.

I'm done.

I did not make this post to make anyone feel sorry for me. I do not need other cripples pitty. If I wanted pitty I would have went to a normie's board and posted a sob story there.

Oh I do not think I am entitled to it. I am just saying, my hubby works and pays in way more than I receive, my in-laws, my sister, my whole family works and pays into the system.

I waited 6 years to have my son, and at one point I did not want another child because I knew I would not physcially be able to take care of him. To tell you the truth we could not afford my daughter when she was born. In-laws helped us with stuff for her too.

It is just wrong to tell someone that they should not have a kid they might not be able to afford. I give up many of things so my kids do not have to go without. I even give up food.

98 cent peeps are not going to break the bank. I mean they only come around easter time for god sakes. I only buy one pack. HOw the hell else you think someone loses weight?! They give up junk food and food all together! Which I have.

I do not save my money I get for my SSI. I use that money to pay for my $50 Humira, my monthly vitamins and my prednisone. It also pays for my daughter lunches $1.25 a day, and my doctor visits. $20 a pop!

I just wanted a straight yes or no answer, not that I am abusing the system, because I am f**king DISABLED and trying to live a f**ked up life. I am sorry my life is not all peaches N cream like everyone else on this board.

Joey2 ummm... no like I said my in-laws, hubby, sister, brother, and my other sister both helped pay for those overdraft fees. And if I did not have the SSI check I would have asked one of them for the money so Wow! Some of you people are harsh. So Joonie bought a tub cheesecake goo... so freakin what, since when is any of your business how she spends her money??? Did she ask any of you to pay her bank fees? NO! Did she ask you to buy her another tub of goo? NO! All she did was ask a question. THAT IS WHAT THIS BOARD IS ALL ABOUT!!!

ari, joey2 and now kidlet.... if you people are in such fine shape why don't you just paddle your @sses off to work and leave the really disabled people alone. Or are you all just jealous because you have to go to work when Joonie and a couple of us here "HAVE HIT THE LOTTERY" and we get to sit at home, eating bon bons and living the high life on $200.00 a month? Whoopiedingf*ckingdong!! Throw a party... the tubs of goo are on me!

And as for Joonie's choice to have children.... it was exactly that...HER CHOICE!! Not yours. If people waited to have children until they could afford them, nobody would have them.

Why don't you people just step off and go find some heart attack victims or mentally challenged people to harrass. I'm sure they will find you just as charming as we do. auntlisa39147.9871527778[QUOTE=joey2] [QUOTE=joonie]

Uhhh... HELLO!! I go without cable, now paying $9.95 a month with a credit card is not much. My Tub of cheesecake filling is not $5 it is $3. and I eat it as my snack for the 2 weeks.

I do not abuse anything. I have thought about giving up my SSI check, but then there are days like today where I had to fork over $202 for overdraft fees.

You can tell who has money on this board and who does not. But ya know... I hope none of you have to ever feel what it is like to be DISABLED before the age of 30 and not be able to work or make your own income and depend on greedy taxpayers to help you make it thru another month.


Poor thing, it must be hard going without cable.

Greedy taxpayers are paying your overdraft fees. Just be thankful those greedy taxpayers pay taxes or you wouldn't have a pot to pee in.

Yeah it is hard to go without cable that is why we go up to the in-laws that live only 300 feet from us to watch their cable. And then that is why we have internet service that costs $9.95 a month, need something to do so we do not create anymore kids we cannot "afford".

I paddle myself off to work just so people like Joonie can sit on the internet all day and eat goo. If she hates the working taxpayers so much she should shuffle herself off like I do every day in pain. Just as she posts her details on a open forum, I can post my thoughts on an open forum. THAT IS WHAT THIS BOARD IS ALL ABOUT!  Not long ago Joonie was talking about having another baby, that she could not afford. If you do not want comments back, don't post. LMAO! Anyone who knows me, knows I can and will not have another kid. I was being sarcastic when I mentioned that, and it was to the effect of to help me get rid of my JRA and go into preggo remission.Oh by the way with me "hitting the lottery" I think I am going to upgrade my ol tin box into a mansion, which should I pick... the nice luxurious kenmore refrige box or the luxurious Amana refrige box? Choices... choices.... NOT!Kenmore is a better brand! I dont think I have ever come across such a bunch of uncharitable, meanspirited ,sanctimonious individuals in my life.   What anyone receiving assistance including
Joonie does with her money is between her and the government department involved and no-one else so focus on your own life, maybe starting with learning what the word empathy means.

[QUOTE=Rando121]Kenmore is a better brand![/QUOTE]

Oh what the heck, Rando! I have hit the lottery, I think I will go for the luxurious expensive Amana refrige box mansion! Woohoo! I am rolling in the dough now! Maybe next year I can build off my mansion with a 64" widescreen tv box!!

Look....I'm not trying to be mean; but I know it sounds harsh. I'm real sorry about that but all I've heard from you Joonie is how poor you and your husband are. Common sense would tell you if you can't afford the basic items in life and you now living in the trailer and need your Mother and Father in law to pay for your water and trash then how on earth do you think you and your husband are going to make it by moving into a place that cost twice as much as you are payng now? Are your In-Laws prepared to make your house payments when you come up short every month?

People talk about wanting so much more in life but then they make choices that keep them behind forever. In my opinion you and your husband will be taking a step back.....not forward by putting yourselves in this finacial bind. Yes; having a real home is the american dream. We all deserve it....but you have to make choices while your young that will get you to a place finacially so that you can afford it.

Choices. The ones you make today will shape your future.

And you can talk all you want about those here that have money; but I can assure you that the ones here that have money didn't get to where they are by luck.

Joonie it seems like you keep putting the cart before the horse. You should take all of the time you put into this board with kinda worthless stuf and try to figure a way to increase your income to help out your family.


 Joonie does not have to justify her expenditures to anyone. She does not have a mean bone in her body so would it have been so difficult to have answered her question with a bit of kindness? What in the hell makes some of you so damn malicious?


 She does not have a mean bone in her body [/QUOTE]

Joonie should not call the taxpayers greedy. How are they  greedy  by working their asses off to help provide for their own family and pay taxes?  I am sick of paying taxes, having to go to work every day whether I want to or not, in pain, then see people sit on their rear with their hands out and complain about taxpayers.

If it's none of our business then don't post it on an open forum!


I agree with miles2go. Joonie is not moving into a much better place. It's located on the same property as her parent's. It's kind of a no choice situation. They have to move there or not have a place to live. And the amount of money is a huge increase for her, but if you knew the real facts, you wouldn't think it was some gigantic leap.

Lovie, your words are usually so kind, but this once, I feel you are a bit off base. When you are living on the lowest amount possible, there's only so far you can stretch it. I've gotten to the point where I look at the dollar menu at Burger King as an expenditure that I'm never going to be able to afford any more.

I have no income and it's not because I don't want one or wasn't willing to for it. I worked to the point where I was permanently damaging my body, to the point where I am a step away from needing to go into a home. So, all of you who sit in your holy towers and cry out how she just needs to go to work, wake up!

A lot of people with RA respond well to the medications. They have pain, they have suffering, but they can still keep working. But some of us are not that lucky. We have to stop working. Joonie has had this illness all her life. Years of RA damage have crippled her. I don't udnerstand why you can't get a grip on that.

Are you so greedy as taxpayers that you really want the very sick to work no matter what their condition is? Shall I go to work on tons of painkillers? Will that satisfy you?

I didn't cause this illness. This illness happened to me and it happened to Joonie and to arriscolwell and her boyfriend has something I consider even worse. It is the system in this country that is so bad.

When did we stop caring for the sick in our country? I cannot believe that you are giving Joonie grief about having a sweet treat. How greedy and heartless you are? You have no idea what she has to sacrifice on in the meantime.

Did you have a cappocino or an ice cream cone this week? Or maybe you bought a candy bar out of a machine? Did you consider for one moment that this was an unreasonable purchase? I doubt it.

Yet, you jump all over Joonie for her little cheesecake treat.

She can't work. Get it through your heads. It isn't a choice for some people. She isn't abusing the system. The system is abusing her.

Joonie is a pretty open person and so she kind of likes to spill out random thoughts. This used to be a place where that kind of thing was accepted and enjoyed. I don't know what happened.

There are so many people that I've grown to care about here. I could name dozens of people that I enjoy keeping track of, that I pray about, I laugh and cry with. But lately, some of the things that have been said are making me just want to leave which I guess is the real purpose in the hearts of some people here.

It's already been made clear by some that you don't want to hear about how hard it is. You only want to hear from people that are responding well to their medications, that can keep working. Anyone that fails to do that had just better leave.

Do you realize what you are doing? You are trying to salve your own fears. You don't want to face the possibility that you might have to quit working some day, that the meds might fail you, that you might have to go through life with a chair or a walker. You don't want to think that you might be so bad off that a cheesecake treat is considered a grand treat.

But the reality of RA is that everyone is going to get worse. The meds only slow the progression and that's only if they work for you. No one wants to look at the ugly side of this disease. And maybe that's one reason we don't get much recognition for the plight we find ourselves in.

You cannot solve a problem until you admit there is a problem. RA is still a crippling, killing disease. You may be able to gloss over that possibility for a few more years and hopefully, they will find that cure. But some day, it's going to catch up to you. You don't expect a person with cancer to be blind to the possibilities. Yet, some people seem to think that if you don't talk about it, it won't happen.

It does happen. Ask Roxy, Crunchy, Joonie, Cassie, Pincushion...it happens. It is real. RA destroys our lives. We are all trying to rebuild the possibilities of our lives. But we need the support of each other to do it.

I never forget about the people that come here for some kind of comfort, any kind of comfort. AI used to be this place that was warm and inviting. I still see my friends here. But something has happened over the last few weeks that is just awful.

You are blaming Joonie for the misfortune of being born with JRA. You are blaming her for not being able to work. And Lovie, I used to work a really good job with a high rate of pay. Do you think I wanted to give that up? What, for permanent poverty?

Every day, I want to go to work. I dream about. I try and strategize a way I could do it. Then the tremors start and the pain starts. And I can't walk or cook or drive. I get tired from even being on here and have to quit.

But I keep trying to live. Only here, I thought I could find some support. That's what this place is supposed to be, people with the same illness helping each other cope with it. Instead, it seems to have turned into a two-side camp of those who have better health and money against those who don't.

I know what is like to be so poor. Joonie is not living beyond her means. She already does not have the means to make it. She is doing the best she can with what she has. Those of you who say, "just go get a job" haven't got a clue to what is like when you can't.

That is the same thing the government is telling us every day. "You can work." But I can't. I tried and tried and tried until my family begged me to stop because they didn't want me to die from the effort. Until my friends at work, including my boss, said it was time to stop. I miss working, creating, talking with friends, building dreams. Now, my life is made out of trying just to survive.

People ask me, the ones who are supposed to help, "what are you living on?" Nothing. I have no income. Nothing. Oh, I have income. I have food stamps and now I get medical care. But I can't afford toilet paper. My mom pays for my Internet so I can communicate, have some kind of support because I can't go anywhere. But there are those of you who think that this is a luxury. Yet, this is my lifeline to the world.

I guess for those of us who are unlucky enough, who didn't plan so well as to not have gotten as sick as the rest of you, that we shoudl crawl into our beds and not have any kind of life. I guess you might as well take the sunshine away because we obviously don't deserve that either. Or air, how about that? Am I taking up too much air?

What does Joonie have to do to satisfy you people? I think this has become a cruel world. I am really considering leaving this place which just breaks my heart because I feel like I'm leaving behind people who are really good too. So many of you have touched my heart deeply and I hope I have added something of value to your lives. But I can't deal with this harshness. I can't stand seeing my friends hurt by such thoughtless words.

How do I keep my friends without being crushed by those who think so highly of themselves that they must tear others down? It is a dilmena I can't resolve.

Joonie, hang in there. Don't let the cruelty of others drag you down. Arriscolwell, you keep fighting for you and Justin.

And those of you that have sat on  your high walls looking down on us, the less fortunate, may God grace you with compassion, may He open your eyes and your hearts. But I don't know if that's going to happen. I wonder how many of you that have spoken so cruelly here lately go to church on Sundays and think about any of us who can't even physically make the trip any more. Take a good look at yourselves. These are people that are just a turn away from you. Have a bit of compassion.

I haven't said anything about Joonie not working. We all know she's not going to be able to work that's not my point.

No; I don't know your situation all I know is what you are telling us here. Isn't it possible that you and your husband could find another place to rent that would be a little more in your budget? How exactly are you helping Joonie by "supporting her" when you know the choices she's making are ones that will soon leave her in a worse fix than she's in now? How exactly is that helping her? The things I say may hurt her feelings.....but if you are honest you will admit it's true. A few of us a little older.....also a tad wiser due to our own life experience. 

Just as I don't know you Joonie.....you don't know me. I graduated high school three months pregnant and trust me when I say life has been an up hill battle ever since. When my husband and I divorced and I was left without any finacial support from him I had to call my father to help me pay my house payment one month. He said "Sure sweetheart; I can help you this time.....but what are you going to do next month? Or the month after that?" Unlike you I have been fortunate enough to have family members in my life that have given me valuable advise and helped to steer me in the right direction. Advise that have helped me make smarter choices than I did when I was very young. I can't help but wonder where those folks are in your life. Surely your In-Laws have to know that you and your husband will have a very difficult time taking over the payments on their home when you can barely afford the trailer in their back yard.

Now my advise may sound mean spirited or what was it one of you said? "Malicious"? But in my opinion my comments if taken in the manner in which they are intended will help Joonie and her husband far more in the long run that not pointing out to this young family when they might be going in the wrong direction. Support comes in all different ways. I personally hope to give Joonie and her husband a little something to think about and consider. Something that in the long run might just help them get going in the right direction. How long is your help going to help her?

I'm not saying things just to be mean and to be honest had just anyone posted this topic I would probable never have commented; but I feel like someone needs to help this young Lady understand some basic things in life. Sadly it seems that advise here is only welcomed if it's Sweet and Nice.

Often the most valuable comments here will often hurt your feelings. I'm real sorry that upsets you Deanna. Real sorry.

Just wanted to say that if you are going to criticize someone's spelling you should learn to spell yourself - the word is grammar not grammer.

Could my friends please stop trashing each other? It is hurtful to all of us.

Once upon a time it was normal for kids to have a stay at home Mom.

Today it is normal for kids to have a working Mom. Yet most families live pay check to pay check anyway.

The true measure of a family and society is how they treat their least able members. We are not doing so hot here.

We can't afford to help Joonie as a society because we have overspent ourselves on this oil war. The big guys in the corporations are sending our jobs over seas. This is why Joonie's hubby who works full time can't make enough money to afford to live in his parents back yard in a tin can. Not every American can be a corporate leader making multiple millions each year, the ordinary guy should be able to live decently off his labor.

Joonie can you rent out the mobile home? Even $250 a month would help. I don't know what rents are in your area but 250 would be dirt cheap in Phoenix - and most likely located in the middle of a gang war.

That's a great idea Marian. That could be a big help.

Joonie~I really am sorry. I don't mean to be mean despite the way it may sound.

I am wondering if you all think poorly of me as I live a nice life style and I live on partially my SSDI.  I have no guilt.  I have worked since I was 10 - seriously - I did farm labor.  I hate not working.  My budget is not what it used to be but we are doing all we can to keep our lifestyle.  Joonie has made me angry many times but in this case, it is hard for me to blame her.  Even though we are on social security, we still want to have as comfortable of a life as possible.  I have had to sell several very sentimental things to continue my lifestyle but I live in a nice home with nice things and a great family.  I do not work.  I CANNOT WORK.  I miss working.  Should I now feel guilty for living a decent lifestyle ?????????????No Roxy. It is ok. ROXY

I donít post very often and I really donít know any of you and Iím sure Iím going to get a lot of mean posts after this. 


As I was reading through the horrible comments, it saddened me deeply.  Berating the poor girl for splurging on a $3 tub of cheesecake (an inexpensive indulgence if you ask me), and even suggesting she go to work in pain, because thatís what you do.  How can you possibly tell what her physical condition is by reading posts on a bulletin board?


Iím thankful every day that I am able to work.  Yes, some days I have to take a pain pill or two to make it through the day, but those are few and far between.  I know some day that may change.  I will work as long as Iím able.  If it comes to a point in my life when I canít work, I will file for disability.  Thatís what it is there for.  Shame on you for trying to make her feel bad for having to get assistance.


We arenít here to make judgments on how people live their lives or spend their money, are we?  If we are, Iím definitely on the wrong board.  This thread is sorely lacking in compassion.


I dont live in the USA but i suppose it works the same here in the UK. Each persons life is different and to say to Joonie that she lives in a trailer because thats what she chose is so wrong. Maybe something happened in her young life or her parents life to make finances tight. To be able to work with a disability is a gift , its a gift of life because to not work brings discrimination , loneliness , depression and worthlessness. To claim disability or social benefits can cause loss of dignity because how we are made to feel. I have worked hard since i left school. I have travelled extensively and lived in a country where we had a huge house and swimming pool, maids and garden help . I have also lived close to the breadline with nothing. I am married to a lovely man who works really hard, he gets up in the morning, makes his and the kids lunches, runs the kids to school, comes home helps me bath and dress and breakfast, he then goes to work and does 8 hours while i have my mum to look after me, he gets in from work and 5 nights out of 7 he cooks dinner and cleans up.He never moans about it ever. I am one of the lucky ones and because of his hard work we have a nice home, car etc and i also claim disability benefits because i need them for ME ! It takes the place of me working, it feels like i am contributing to the household.Does this make me a burden on the system ? My disbility has bought me a scooter, it pays for my car, it buys me special shoes and gadgets to help me along, it pays for my medical prescriptions. I would hand it all back to go to work but like so many people on here I cant work. Oh by the way I have cable t.v and the internet.

For the record, I have nothing against disabled  people or people truly in need. My  beef lies with people calling the tax payers greedy. I still don't understand how a tax payer is greedy when they are paying and working.

Lovie is right and I do not think she was cruel in the way she explained where she was going with her post. I would help my children out of financial mistakes but not make a habit of it. How else will they learn to make it in this world if we keep handing them things and bailing them out? 

edited because hubby said to


Oh and by the way joey2 I was referring to you and the others who complained about me abusing the system as being the greedy taxpayers. I do not view every taxpayer as being greedy. I use to be a taxpayer and everyone I know is a taxpayer. So... only those of you that complained on this thread are what I consider being the greedy taxpayers.


Lovie, I wasn't speaking directly to you when I used the word "malicious". I was commenting on the ones who could have shown some compassion in their criticism.

Oh and it is not my choices that have put me in the situation I am in now, it is my JRA that has put me in the place I am. It has always been an uphill battle for me thru out my whole life. I was brought up by a 54 year old single mother, who worked as much as she could, even though she should have been probably almost ready to retire. I have had even my own siblings to down me and think I was lazy from the time I was 3 years old. I have been a burden on society since I was born. I fought my way thru school, I had to repeat kidnergarden, because of many many missed days from JRA and not being able to get out of bed and move around like normal kids. I missed alot of school from kidnergarden to 6th grade, but once teenage remission hit, I took advantage of what a normal life was like to the fullest extent. I even went and got a job, so I could have the things in life I had to do without. You would think being the only child at the time, I would have gotten everything my little heart desired, Not!

I am hoping that one day I can go to work. I am like everyone else on this board hoping for that mircle cure. I do not like to be a continued burden on society nor my family. I want to be more than I have ever been in my whole entire life. I want to be successful and make something of myself, but how can I do that when I cannot even play with my kids like a normal mother can.

I was sitting on the front porch at my in-laws the other day waiting for daughter to get off the bus and son was out playing in the yard. I was talking the MIL and I was talking about how he loves to play outside, but he only sees that when she is home or hubby is home, because I am afraid to be outside with him by myself as I cannot chase him down if he runs towards the road or even the railroad tracks. She said at least you are home with him. I replied yeah and thought but I am waste of a mother and always have been, even with my daughter. I am a waste of a wife. I cannot do the things a mother and wife do on a daily basis. 

It hurts me to tell my daughter no she cannot do something because I cannot protect her. Or that my daughter loves her granny much more than the one who gave birth to her, because her granny can do much more with her than her young mother can. It is not that I do not want to do things with my daughter, it is that I cannot do them. I was never able to get in the floor and play with her when she was a baby, I was never able to chase after the leaves with her, I was never able to go to the pumpkin patch with her, her granny done all of that because her young mother, could not do it, because of a horrid disease she has had all of her life.

I have been limited my whole life, why should I limit the rest of my family because of something that has nothing to do with them. I feel like a true burden and have since I was a kid. I remember all the arguments my mother and siblings would get into because of my disease, because they did not understand what it was about, like so many people in this world.

I hope in my next life, if there is such a thing, I can be a normal person and get to be able to play with my kids, and be the wife, mother, and person I was ment to be. 

And Deanna, for the love of God, please don't go. I look forward to your posts every day for so many reasons. I always learn something, that's for sure. This board cannot do without your knowledge and compassion. Please.Deanna, I so totally agree with you and I understand where you are coming from Joonie, noone wants to be poor, and believe me if I could still work I would be there everyday, I miss it and I made really good money, now I receive about 1/4 of that monthly not from SSI or SSDI but from survivor's benefits, right after we adopted our little girl, he passed away, and then I was diagnosed with RA, I was able to fight it for a couple of years until I woke up and couldn't move my hands or feet.  People look at me on a good day and say "You don't look disabled" well I would gladly give up any benefits that I may ever get from disability, I've been turned down twice, to be able to work. No one has the right to judge anyone until they've walked in their shoes.OKAY YOU GUYS IT IS HAPPENING AGAIN. WE ARE NOT HERE TO JUDGE PEOPLE. IF YOU HAVE NOTHING NICE TO SAY DO NOT SAY IT AT ALL. JOONIE HAS A GREAT SENSE OF HUMOUR FOR SOMEBODY WHO HAS BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH AND SHE DOES SAY WHATEVER IS ON HER MIND BUT SHE DOES NOT ATTACK PEOPLE OR JUDGE ONLY WHEN SHE IS ATTACKED FIRST I HAVE BEEN COMING TO ALL THESE THREADS FOR A FEW YRS I AM A QUIETER PERSON. I AM ON DISABILITY AND WOULD ALSO WORK IF I COULD I HAVE A 7 YR OLD. ALL OF US ON DISABILITY WOULD RATHER BE AT WORK NOT ONLY MAKING MORE MONEY BUT HAVING HUMAN CONTACT. ANYWAYS MY ADVICE TO THE PEOPLE WHO ARE JUDGING KEEP YOUR COMMENTS TO YOURSELFS SO PEOPLE LIKE ME CAN NOT FEEL UPSET READING THIS CRAP THANKYOU TERESA

We'll I certainly stand corrected. If you and your husband can take over payments on your in-laws home and own it in 9 years at $321 a month you hold onto that sucker and don't let go.

You can't rent an apartment in the worst parts of town for that much. I do apoligize if I insulted your In-Laws by thinking they weren't looking out for your best interest.

Looks like to me the In-Laws are giving you and your husband the opprotunity to be OUT-RIGHT home owners on less than 10 years!

That's certainly a heck of a lot more than a good many of us that have high payments on a 30 year loan have.

Hold on tight.....do whatever possible to keep up the payments on that home and you and your husband will certainly be in a better place 10 years from now.

I feel a lot better after hearing this news. I know you think I was being mean.....but I was honestly concerned for your long term well being.

You both should sleep better at night knowing that if you do whatever possible to make this work; you guys will ALWAYS have a roof over your head.....whether you ever work a day in your life or not. That should be comforting to know for anyone like us that faces an uncertain future.

I have tried so hard to stay out of the controversial topics as of late, because I don't want to keep something going that should be dropped, however, this time I can't stay silent.

I am APPALLED at the insensitivity and arrogance displayed here toward Joonie.  People who claim to be sensitive and positive individuals have brought this poor woman to defending her very existence!  HOW DARE YOU!

Joonie was born into her circumstances as we all were.  And she is doing pretty darn well in my book.  She has a husband who clearly loves her very much, a supportive family, and two happy, healthy children.  In spite of her extreme struggles she has managed to maintain a sense of humor, and bring it to us to make us smile.  As you hear her tell her stories about potty training her son, you can tell the love and the pride she has for her children.

Do I agree with everything she says and does?  Nope, don't need to.  She is a different person than I, with a different upbringing and background and her thoughts and actions are based upon that.  Just as mine and yours are!  But she does not deserve to be attacked by bitter, thoughtless individuals who play on this board, interjecting negativity for their own entertainment.

Joonie, if you PM me your address I will buy you a whole GD case of cheese cake filling!  You deserve it.  It's not like she was out drinking, smoking and gambling with her SSI folks!  She was stuck at home, in pain, and unable to do things most of you take for granted.  Sometimes a person just needs something to make them smile for a moment - shame on you for wanting to deny her even that.






In my opinion some of what's transpired here has been very productive.

Can people disagree but still be friends?

Never mind.....don't bother answering that.

Hey Lovie,

I know you did not mean to be harsh. I know you better than that. I just did not want to give out all of the information on an open forum. I know it will sooner or later bite me in the butt for posting it all.

My in-laws are always there for us. Yes, they could have sold their house to someone else and not even asked us if we wanted to take over payments and left us high and dry trying to find somewhere to move her trailor to, but they are not like that. FIL is a preacher & MIL is a nurse. They have given and done so much for us and our kids that I know they would never do anything to hinder us. They are the ones who think of us first, before themselves. If we do not have money for something and they just happen to have some left over they will give it to us. They have done a lot for us in the 8 years I have been a part of their family.

I just do not want to have to burden them with having to continue to help us, which is what will happen if my check is cut off, because then I will have to depend on them once again to pay for my meds and doctor visits that we cannot pay for. I truely only use my checks for neccessities, I am not a waster, I have never had money to just waste.


 I am just really glad to hear you have good family support. I know it would be twice hard without it. (At least.) I am fortunate to have family nearby also. That has been a huge blessing. I hope your tomorrow is a better one. I sure hope that our system updates some day, and I hope you all are well.  

I have just read thru this entire thread and I am so sad by what I have read.

Aren't we ALL here for the same reason?  I would think that above all, WE would be more understanding and compassionate.  This thread makes me sick to my stomach.

Right now, I can work.  I have only been dx since Oct '06.  I have already seen a huge change in my activities due to this crappy disease.  Some day, I will need assistance of some type, that is a guarentee.  I know that, because this disease is unforgiving and it is attacking me like crazy. 

It is none of anyone's business how anyone, not just Joonie spends her money.  I sure don't want anyone telling me how to spend mine.  So what if she splurges on something once in a while.  Who cares? 

I would much rather my tax dollars go to someone who has this crappy disease than someone who CHOOSES to sit home and not work, but are perfectly able.  As we all know, RA attacks people differently.  Just because some of us can work, doesn't mean that all of us can work. 

Let's all try to be a little more understanding.  She is one of us, remember? 


Lovie, here is where I think you are one classy lady. You listened and you apologized when you understood the situation more. We all, including myself definitely, say the wrong thing at times. And, I know you only meant to help. But how admirable that you would come back and say such kind words and prove that you only wanted to support Joonie.

Yes, lady, that is classy.

Hillhoney: My heart tells me that you would make the best friend anybody could have! I agree totally with your post.

Lovie: My feeling is that Joonie was singled out to be attacked. To me that isn't productive.

Joonie: In spite of your health issues you are truly wise for you know how blessed you are in having your family and their support. Though my health issues aren't as difficult as yours at this time I too am truly blessed with a beautiful family and appreciate their support.  You take care sweetie.

To all on this board: I have a daughter who by the age of 33 was declared legally blind through no fault of her own. Yes, she receives SSI and would like nothing more than to have her vision restored so she could lead a normal life. The issue isn't is she entitled but the fact is she worked and paid into Social Security like all taxpayers and Social Security and its programs are designed to lend a helping hand in the event life slaps us up.

Ok, now that the full moon is over, I want to say to Joonie, congrats on
your new home. I wish I could get a deal like that. In a few years, the
payment won't look so bad to you. And a few years after that, you will be
paying it off. Personally, I'll be paying my mortgage for another 26 years,
just about the time I retire. I have to agree with hillhoney, words spoken
on this thread have been harsh. To answer your question. I don't think
you will lose your pay, but it also will not increase your benefit either. I
think we all need to give Joonie positive input and not judge her for the
way she lives or the decisions she makes. One of her dreams was to own
her own home and get out of the tin box. She and her family have
realized this dream and we should all be thrilled for her. I know I am.
Joonie, please do not be so hard on yourself. You are a good beautiful
human being. And I'm sure you are a great mom and wife and friend.
Your kids love you dearly no matter how much you can or can't play with
them. They don't care. That is the joy of children, they have
unconditional love for their parents. Something adults should posess for
other human beings. Anyway, again, I'm very happy for you and I'll throw
in another case of cream cheese filling as a house warming gift. [QUOTE=Deanna]

IIt's already been made clear by some that you don't want to hear about how hard it is. You only want to hear from people that are responding well to their medications, that can keep working. Anyone that fails to do that had just better leave.



With all due respect, I believe that an individual that is newly diagnosed will benefit more from those of us who do respond well to medication and don't use this open forum to discuss, in minute detail, the unfortunate events that many of you encounter.  I suspect that the people I am referring to may have had this disease for many years and did not have access to the medical knowledge that has changed the world of RA.  It has been proven that many of the drugs on todays market can stop the progression of this disease, which for a newbie means we may never experience what you experience.  I believe a person diagnosed with this disease today needs positive feedback so that that may lead a full and prosperous life. 

Lately, there's been more than enough discussion on how some people on here lack compassion and empathy and don't understand what many of you have to deal with.  I think quite the contrary, I think many of you resent the fact that a newbie has a chance of conquering this nasty disease with the available options on the market today.

Once again, I am certain someone out there will take offense.  Just remember I am offended everytime I come here and see the same people playing their song over and over again.  It's a two-way highway - remember that.



people come on here for a number of reasons.I am glad you are doing well, I did too for a number of years, unfortunetly for me the disease decided to go mad and attack more joints and leave me unable to do anything about it. Its not about people playing their song over and over again, its about being able to vent to others who understand.Its how we learn what this awful disease is about and how it can affect each person differently. Maybe there needs to be a newbie board for those who have it under control and function in every day life quite normally. For people who are racked with pain and immobility, who have become depressed due to their condition( because depression does play a big part) they need the support of others a great deal.Being upbeat about it all is great and there are days when i personally dont let it get to me but there are days when i cant move, cant get dressed and cant even deal with my own personal needs, these are the days that i need someone who understands.

My only hope for you and all other people who are newly diagnosed with this is that you are always able to cope and your meds work wonders because it will hit you hard if you ever get as bad as some others who post here.

Ari33 I think I finally get it.  You are scared.  You can't allow yourself to admit the possibility that your disease could advance to the point that some of the most unfortunate individuals on this board have.  When they post, it is a constant reminder to you that this is happening to people and they have no control or ability to stop it.  That is very, very scary.

Everyone needs hope - even the sickest among us.  That's why they post on this forum, to be encouraged by their friends, to say I'm scared and feel alone.  They need to reach out and be heard.  In return they can share their knowledge and experience, as they have already walked the path we are just starting on.

I applaud a postive, upbeat attitude.  And I receive a lot of encouragement from those who are doing well.  I enjoy hearing other's successes.  I think if you are honest with yourself there is a great deal of that on this forum.  But the statistics posted here from the Summit don't lie - the majority of individuals diagnosed with RA will be unable to work within 10 years.

You are incorrect assuming that some of our most severely disabled members were diagnosed years ago when they "did not have access to the medical knowledge that has changed the world of RA."  The sad fact is they got very sick, very fast - and within the last couple of years.  Often they have been hit with a double whammy and got two or even three diseases for the price of one.  That happens with auto-immune diseases - once your immune system gets fouled up, it can cause multiple diseases. 

No one here would object to your posting positive, upbeat comments that encourage.  That happens here all the time, and we love it.  But please do it without slapping someone in the face at the same time.  That negates the positive feeling you are trying to promote.  That is why your initial introduction got everyone's hackles up.

The people of this on-line community welcome new members and enjoy getting to know our newbies.  If you truly explore the postings you will see they are welcomed with great encouragement, and a wealth of knowledge.  But we are here for the less fortunate among us too, who are so beaten down by their disease, by the devasting impact it has had on their relationships, their financial status, and their ability to even care for themselves.  We can't deny their suffering to make ourselves feel better.  They are there asking for emotional support - nothing more. 

I know you need to feel different from them right now.  But listening to other's struggles and pain with empathy, even if they need to ask for support every single day, does not diminish your own ability to battle the dragon.  Rather it enriches your soul and gives you a better understanding of our world and variety of  people in it.

All I ask Ari33 is that you read this with an openness of heart and some self-examination.  I try to do that every day, asking myself how could I handle that better.  It's amazing what you can learn about yourself and your fears and prejudices when you do that.

Excellent Hillhoney, just excellent.


That was concise Hillhoney, thank you. Excactly what I wanted to say but didn't know how.

Hillhoney, thank you for posting that.

ari, I am so happy when I hear someone is responding well to their treatment. I didn't ignore this disease when it hit me. I've have fought hard from the beginning and so has my doctors. One of my friends here, Roxy, was a park ranger only 2 years ago. Now, she can't walk and she can barely feed herself. It's devastating to hear her story. But those are just the outside facts of her life. Who Roxy is the bravest soul you would ever care to meet. And those of us who have had the priviledge of following her life have been able to cry with her, laugh with her, watch her overcome absolutely impossible barriers. Not only has she had to deal with a very aggressive onset of her illness, but she has had family struggles as well. So, we have gotten to know her, her family, her doggies, the fish in her aquarium. We got to see her new house. She has taken us on a wonderful journey.

Now, you would say to her and to me that because we no longer are responding to our meds that we should get lost so that you can feel more comfortable with your disease.

This is not the attitude of some other great people. Lovie for instance, works and responds well to her medications. But that doesn't mean she doesn't have challenges or bad days. We all have bad days. But she's here pretty much every day cheering the rest of us on. And, she is far from the only one. She's not about to let someone go without a word of encouragement.

And I have learned so much about courage and the will to live from those on here with JRA. They have lived with it their entire lives never ever knowing health to begin with. And, they are filled with life and humor. They bring joy to my days.

Hillhoney is right you are afraid. But please think of it this way. Pretend for a minute that you are in a cancer ward in some really fine hospital. The person next to you was just diagnosed with cancer last week. You've been diagnosed for a month. The one on the other side of you has had it for two years. And, down the way is someone who has had it for six years.

The one who just got their diagnosis is going to die from their illness and so is the one who had it for six years. The rest of you are going to live. But some of you are going to have to have radical surgery in order to survive. Others will do well with the medications and will leave this sad experience behind.

But does that mean you should throw the very sick out of the room because it makes you more comfortable? Do you have any idea how it makes me and others feel when here, in a support group, you tell us we are too sick even to participate and that you think we should just leave?

Every day, I am fighting this disease. From the very first, with the very best of doctors and the very best of medications. You are fooling yourself to think you can walk this path unscathed. I hope, no pray, that you don't suffer with this illness as I have. The reason, the biggest reason that the veterans keep coming on here is to be here for the newbies.

The news that you have this disease, even the struggle to get the diagnosis is so painful and so overwhelming that we know you need the support. When you have those tests, and you get vague results, we know you need an explanation as to what is happening to you. When you suddenly go from being able to walk just fine one day to not being able to get out of bed the next, we know that you need to be reassured that you are not crazy, that this is just part of the disease and we can help you find your way through the maze of doctors and treatments that will help you.

What you said today and before really hurt. You basically told me to shut up, you don't want to hear about my problems. Just like the rest of the world who thinks that RA is the same as OA, that it is only old age, just pick yourself up, change your attitude, eat better, exercise more...it is the same attitude we fight every day from our closest friends, our families and our co-workers. You have this disease and you are saying to everyone else in the room if you are not as well as me get the hell out of here.

You can't run from this disease and shoving us out will not affect your prognosis. No one wants to dash your hope. The medicines and progress they are making are remarkable. Right now, I'm thinking of our dear friend Mark who was also afraid when he came here. But he's here practically every day either asking questions or posting research he's found on fighting this disease. He's just as scared as anyone else, but damn if he's not going to fight. And, he's find his capacity for compassion.

We cannot make the ugliness of RA go away for you. I'm sorry. The doctors can't do that either. You have to use your fear and apply it to fighting with everything you've got. We are here to provide you with the weapons, the encouragement, the strength and the knowledge to help you in your battle.

But please do not deny me the right to look for support. I am personally having a very tough time of if right now. I can't take the meds any more. I can't walk half the time. I can't hardly cook or clean. I can't work. It is so devastating. This place has been my place of sanity, my place of hope. It's not fair that you would shove me or my other dear friends out of the room because it makes you more comfortable.

People in our society don't like to face the fact that bad things can happen. You are going to lose friends and maybe even family members because they can't face the fact that someone as good as you can get so sick. They are going to be so afraid of it that they are going to push you out of their lives. And, it's going to hurt. You are going to need us to help you cope with that. Because we will understand because we have already been through it.

I wish I could take your fear away. And, I hope every day of the rest of your life is filled with the best of health. But if it's not, you will find people like me here that are going to be there for you. That's what a support group is about, supporting each other, helping each other stand strong. We cry together and we sure laugh together.

Think hard on this because what you do next really is going to reveal your true character. In this process, we have learned that it is what is in the heart of each of us that really, really important.

And every time, I can comfort a newbie, to give them an answer, it brings me such joy. Lately, I haven't been able to offer much because I really am so very sick right now. But those who have taken the time to know me have said to me that I have brought them comfort. I know that they have really helped me.

Give yourself a chance to grow and learn. It's okay to be afraid. But we've been there already and we can, if you let us, help you through the darkness.

It seems to me that anyone that puts their dirty drawers out for all to see and smell shouldn't be offended when somebody says something about the odor. If the Opra club doesn't like all the feedback then tell her to keep her dirty drawers inside. And boo hoo hoo and wha wha wha, we all have troubles and woes and hard times and pains. And none of us asked for it either. Going off topic is kinda like going off road. Hey Virgie, something to remember about life...what goes around comes around.

Hillhoney that was super. 

I was Dx'd in 05 but it started in 2000, pretty much a newbie, and have gone totally disabled so some of us are not from way back prior to having better meds.  I am eating and injecting those meds with tons of side effects but no help yet.  I know that my Dr and I will find one that helps eventually but the damage is already done so I had no choice but to enter the disability scene.  You see, if I don't file for disability within 5 years of working I lose the entire benefit because it is based on my last 10 yrs of work and I have 30 yrs of paying in that I am not going to lose.

Joonie I am so happy about your house!  I am sure that it is a dream that you didn't think would happen and it did.  I know what severe RA does to a person and you just be sure to lick the cheesecake container and get all that there is!  Enjoy!  I myself eat those little cups of ice cream during the bad times.  When we eat something that we enjoy our bodies put out endorphins (sp?) that make us feel just a little better. 

I for one am proud that my 30 yrs of taxes paid in goes to help someone who has had RA for most of their life.  I was blessed with 47 years of a pain free normal life and am happy to have been able to help others thru my years of tax paying.  When Joonie receives SSI I have also helped her children and that makes me happy. 


Ari,  You make me so angry.  I know it is not good for my disease to harbor that anger so I am not going to address you except to say you are very naive and I hope you DO walk in other's shoes someday.

Then to my dear friend Deanna - Just to set things straight - there are times I cannot walk at all - I don't handle that well and I spend a lot of time here for support which I ALWAYS get   The good news is my flare and the monster have given me a break and I am walking again.  Only 3x could I not feed myself.  I worked as a ranger 3 years ago.  Tried twice to go back.  My RA has been aggressive,  VERY  AGGRESSIVE.  I was athlethic in amazing physical condition before RA hit.  Now I cannot function without strong painkillers, a cane, braces and a family to help me with daily living.  I have not given up hope.  I AM on SSDI and I believe after a lifetime of working and how devastating this disease has been - I deserve it !.  If you do not want to hear about my troubles Ari - Don't read my threads and don't think you know me and can read between the lines.  Because of THIS  board, I have not given up hope.  I am changing biologics and hang onto the stories I have read here that people in my condition can improve.  I love this board.  Don't ruin it for others.  Many of us need it.

Hey Everybody On The Board: Virgie hasn't posted any info as to medical problems, personal data, etc. Now this person could be a mole but methinks this person could be someone who strictly by accident and purely by chance stumbled across this board and this person obviously has a lot of pent-up anger which has nothing to do with us. However, we are here and this person is using the people on this board for target practice in an effort to release this pent-up anger rather than confront people/issues affecting this person's own life.

I am requesting that under no circumstances that nobody respond to this person's taunts, ridicule, etc. and so forth. Let's keep this board free of such garbage. Thanks.

Good idea watching wolf. Thanks.

And Roxy, you are still a champion every day in my book. I hope you know that.

There are no absolutes with RA.  Yet what oftens happens is that we project what is happening to us with our disease onto somebody else.  Its not intentional we are just speaking from our own experience. But when the primary voices are all from people who are not doing well or have unusually difficult cases it colors a very bleak picture for newcomers or lurkers. 

We can't predict anyone's future with the disease but we can extend the lessons we have learned through the years.  We can talk about what we should have done in the early days, we can talk about planning for possibilities not inevitables.  We can talk about building partnerships with our doctors, and developing a support system for those bad days and they are bad days for everyone.  We can talking about living and enjoying life despite RA and its difficulties.

No matter else a board must always have mutual respect for all its posters..new or old.  We don't have to like what someone says or agree with them but we owe everyone the right to their opinion.  So many peoples first responses are to argue instead of question, rude or derogatory replies when diplomacy should be used.  Responding and "feeding a troll" when igoring them would call less attention to them.  Respct...new or old...agree or disagree ...but everyone is due it.  Don't respond in any way to deliberatly provoking posts.  Don't post in anger.  I can't tell you how many times I've written a post and then deleted it.  As my Mom used to tell me nothing good ever comes when you argue.  Its the regulars that set the tone of any board.  If they are less than respectful at any time then so will everyone who comes to the board.  Its sad if anyone is afraid to post because they might be jumped on if they didn't word something correctly or post an opposing view to someone.  Make the board welcoming both in tone and in attitude.

And to anyone who is lurking..guess what go to any support board for any illness and people will bitch, complain, vent etc.  We go to the boards and our cyber friends because they have been there and done that.  If you want to see someplace that is happy happy joy joy all the time an internet illness support board is not the place to come. 

The people who come to these boards have a lot of information to share. The regulars of the boards need to build a place that is welcoming and discussion are free to occur without anger and ugliness.  Newcomers need to understand that they will get negative as well as positive pictures and deliberatly provoking people is not how to win friends and influence people.

Well said buckeye, thankyou.

I never have suggested to anyone that they should leave this forum nor would I.  I would just like to see more positive, uplifting posts.   I know I could just go away and leave well enough alone, but if I can give just one person out there some reassurance then my purpose here is well worth the grief.  Just as each of you, I will post as I see fit. 

RA does not have to break your spirit nor is it necessary for this public forum to break your spirit.  There are many good books out there to help you understand how our mind affects the way the body responds.  I would offer a suggestion for each of you to check them out. 






No, but you have suggested that I just shut up. You want uplifting posts, then post them. I would like to see more of them myself. Like, I loved seeing Pincushion's pictures and Joonie's post on Victoria's Secrets. Those posts really brighten my day.

And, if you had spent more time on this board, you would see that we have some really entertaining posts at times where we get some crazy thread going that just makes us all laugh. Or someone will start a story that we all join in and write together.

You say that you want to give some one some reassurance, but you've really done the opposite. You have taken a very negative stance towards people with serious RA. It's not our fault that we got so sick. I do not resent your being healthier than me. No, I'm really glad. I hope you find the support that you need. Hopefully, in some way, some day I will be able to help you with some problem. And I hope that none of your problems are serious. But it doesn't matter. A problem is a problem. It doesn't matter that you are a newbie, a little sick or majorly sick. We all have RA or something similar. So, we are kind of in the same boat.

And those who know me, know I have a very strong spirit and work constantly to improve my life. If I haven't been as up lately it's because I am fighting a lot of battles right now to get help that I really need.

Like anyone else, I do need the support of others. Would it really kill you to offer a little of that? I might be more verbal than others. But there are people out there listening that can only type one letter at a time. Some days all they can do is read posts. They need someon to speak up for them. Many days, I can't even get through reading all the posts that I want to and unfortunately, lately, I haven't been able to give the support that I normally would.

You can't even imagine how much your comments have hurt me since you have joined the forum. It's hard enough to face not being able to get help from the outside world when you are in so much pain. But that is understandable because they cannot possibly understand how sick I am. But when I'm here, I am hoping that someone gets it.

When you write how you don't want to hear from people that are having problems, you really are discouraging those of us who need help. You seem to think that all someone needs to do is think themselves well. If I could do that, I would in an instant. But the most positive book in the world is not going to turn off an overactive immune system. It takes many strategies to overcome what this disease, any autoimmune disease can do to you. I use every one of them and have never given up no matter how hard it has been.

But the closest I have been to calling it quits is the last few weeks when people have attacked me. I don't deserve that. I didn't provoke it. But I will defend myself as I also defend my right to live and be treated as a human being. That is the essence of respect.

There's nothing wrong with your beliefs. If you can get well by reading and encompassing the beliefs set forth in a book, by gosh, do it. There are dozens of different beliefs on here about what helps. I don't mind that at all because that is when I learn.


I have refrained from saying much about this thread.  However, it is you that I had my battle with, over much of the same.  YOUR ATTITUDE.  I'm sorry to say, but it stinks.  I wish you would re-evaluate your approach to those of us on this board and determine why you fight with everyone here.  I see a trend, as I'm sure many others do. 

I, along with most on this board, am glad that you are well.  We all respond to different types of treatments and ideas.  This is the place to share all that.  But, not with such a pretentious attitude.  I really believe that if you embraced the people here, instead of constantly putting them down, you would be welcome with open arms.


This forum won't break anyone's spirit Ari33, but you might. If this place is such a "downer" for you why don't you find another one, there are plenty out there. Or, maybe you have and they don't suit you either. We were doing fine before you came and we'll do fine if you leave. This is a SUPPORT group. Get it? We SUPPORT EACH OTHER! Sheesh.

I have to defend Ari here. You folks are reading her the wrong way. She is saying in a nice way that it is just as easy to be positive than down. Sure she is scared, who isn't that has this disease called RA. I don't sit and dwell on it. I try to make the best of every day that I can. Yes, there are days that I can't walk very well, and days I hurt so bad I want to cry. I just try to look up and not down. I just go on.

I feel very fortunate that I do have some money and I shudder at the thought of not having any and how I would live. I am a taxpayer and I have paid thousands and thousands of dollars and never get a refund. But when I was young a made a plan for myself, for my life and I stuck with it.



Ari - I agree with the others and wonder why with your constant talking of positivity you have been the one to bring the most negativity to this board that I can remember.   [QUOTE=Disgusted123]

I have to defend Ari here. You folks are reading her the wrong way. She is saying in a nice way that it is just as easy to be positive than down. Sure she is scared, who isn't that has this disease called RA. I don't sit and dwell on it. I try to make the best of every day that I can. Yes, there are days that I can't walk very well, and days I hurt so bad I want to cry. I just try to look up and not down. I just go on.

I feel very fortunate that I do have some money and I shudder at the thought of not having any and how I would live. I am a taxpayer and I have paid thousands and thousands of dollars and never get a refund. But when I was young a made a plan for myself, for my life and I stuck with it.




We pay thousands every year too. We never get a tax return. The more we work to try and provide for our family, the less money we get. Any money we do make we have to scounge up money later to pay taxes. Then you see the people who get tax refunds for not working as hard get a few thousand back and go buy all kinds of luxuries. Something is wrong here.


Ari33: This board is a tool for all to be able to express the emotions of frustration, helplessness, anger, etc., which is the result of RA and it's complications, affecting our lives at the moment. We all need this outlet!!

For sure we aren't consciously looking for things on a daily basis to moan and groan about but there are those days over which we have no control. For anybody to indicate we should keep our mouth shut and to more or less grin and bear it clearly shows a lack of compassion.

By the same token we share the good times. Sharing the good times isn't equivelant to gloating but when others have something uplifting to share it brightens my day, too. It brings a smile to my face and to my heart to know that someone else is enjoying moments of happiness in spite of the fact they're the victim of RA and it's complications.

Who on earth gets a few thousand back? Does that really happen?? I got $300. And I make a whopping $11/hr. Woohoo. Big money. (sarcasm)

I'd love to know how people are getting thousands back....I want in......

SSID payments are affected a bit by where you live. Close to ten years ago when our daughter and family moved from Minnesota to Georgia her payments were increased by just under $25.00 a month. She thought there had been a mistake made and contacted SS, but they told her it was because she moved to Georgia. There was an explanation as to why moving to Georgia resulted in this small payment increase. Don't remember the details but it had something to do with costing more to live in Georgia.
If you claim 0 dependents on your W-4, you get more money taken out of your paycheck in taxes thus resulting in a tax refund. If you claim 1 or more dependents on the W-4, you get more money in your paycheck and little or no refund at the end of the year. Also, look into Earned Income Credit.

Just a reminder, I have never written mean or threatening posts to any of you but have had many directed my way.  Some of you are just downright nasty. I could quote some of the nastier ones but those responsible know who they are.  I simply have a much brighter outlook on life and will not apologize or continue to try and justify.  I will just say I'm sorry for those of you that dwell on life's misgivings.  Life is short and you only have one shot at it.

For any newly diagnosed person who may find this post, I encourage you to find the best Rheumatologist in your area, develop a good relationship with him/her and come to a mutual decision to treat the disease agressively, take the meds and be patient, exercise daily (even if it's just a leisurely walk and some simple range of motion exercises), eat right, and do some quality research.  There is hope that your disease will be placed in remission.  I recently read that if you are treated within two years of the onset of this disease that there is a high probability that you will achieve remission.  Lastly, don't stop doing what you enjoy and pamper your mind, body and spirit.  Convince yourself that this is just another challange that you can and will conquer.  Remember, you are in control. 

Ari33: What type/types of arthritis are you afflicted with?

Another question: In reading your posts you haven't stated anything those of us afflicted with arthritis aren't aware of in regard to positive actions and positive attitudes. We all benefit when someone comes forward with a positive outcome to their situation. Would you be so kind as to share your positive story with us?  Thank You.


I respectfully suggest that we all drop this thread.  Clearly we do not have a meeting of the minds, we have stated our feelings and going any further with it only invites nastiness.

Just my thoughts on the matter. . .

Lest I remind you watchingwolf, you haven't always been so kind, thus, I'm not sure why you would ask for kindness in return?  Perhaps this is just your way to sieze an opportunity to satisfy your curiosity. 

I'll admit, I haven't been very open with my "story" - that has been my choice.  There is some merit to not sharing your life circumstances on a public forum.  And should I mention the reaction to my very first post?  If I recall correctly, it was assumed my "pinky finger" problem was a poor excuse for my existence on this forum.  I believe someone even suggested I cut it off......Supportive?  I think not.

Just to ease your conscious, According to all the relative blood work that I have every 4-6 weeks, I have moderate to severe RA.  I have rheumatoid nodules on my ankles and achilles, I have a swollen and deformed RING finger, I HAD an abnormal skin condition that was primarily evident on my chest after sun exposure.  I experienced flu like symptoms.  I have had some stiffness in my hands and feet.  Episodes of very stiff and painful shoulders.  All of these symptoms I attributed to something else until one day my Orthopaedist ( whom I went to for what I though was a broken finger) insisted I go to see a Rheumatologist to which he referred me. 

I take 13.5 mg of methotrexate every Friday, 1mg of Folic Acid daily.    I stay mentally and physically active everyday, either walk, do stairs, jumprope, stretch, etc.  My diet isn't great but I'm trying to improve it.  I'm not a big eater but I'm very choosy.  I do drink alot of sweet tea which I know is very, very bad for me.  I do believe, however, that there are some health benefits associated with the chemicals in tea.  I have zest for life - I see the glass half full - not empty.  I stay focused on my home, family, friends, colleagues,  and all of the other things in my life that make me the person that I am today.  I work hard to surround myself with all that is beautiful in this life.  These are the things that are essential to my overall well being.

Satisfied? By the way - after 7 months treatment, the nodules are all but gone, the finger looks great, the stiffness is gone, the flulike symptoms are gone, the skin is great, the blood work improving.  I feel wonderful!




I have absolutely stayed out of all these controversy posts until now.  You say we all need to have a better attitude but I think you need to practice what you preach.  You tell wathcingwolf she hasn't been kind to you so why should you be kind to her, isn't that part of the problem here?  Shouldn't we all lead be example instead of putting each other down and thinking our ways are the only ways to live???

I am truly thrilled you are feeling better after 7 months of treatment, that's absolutely wonderful.  However, many of us have been battling this much, much longer.  My attitude, along with many others would probably be as cheery as yours if we knew in 7 months we would feel better, forget all the years we have already suffered!!!

Despite the best doctors, the best drugs and the best attitudes, some of us continue to get worse.  I realize that some people with ra do very well and that's great but after living in such pain for so long, it DOES wear on you, no matter how cheery a disposition you have!  I agree, a good attitude goes a long way but some days, that's just not possible for everyone and its those days that we need to rally around our friends here.  If you see someone posting lots of "down" posts, instead of criticizing them or telling them all they need is to be happier, why not actually DO something to cheer them up, send them a funny picture or a joke, or eve just a well wish for a better today, that would be much more helpful!

 You must have misunderstood my post - I did not ask why I should be kind to watchingwolf, I know exactly why I should be kind to watchingwolf.    I said " I'm not sure why wathcingwolf would ask for kindness in return".  




aunt lisa - you know that EIC thing....they said I had to be 25 in order to quailify! And I claim 1 I guess....I think. I must...LoL Otherwise I dunno how I only got $300 back!

If you are single you are hit the hardest with taxes.Katie,
That sucks about the EIC and Bonny is right, single people do get hit the hardest. Check on your W-4 though. I think it's only a few bucks a week but it does add up at the of the year. Alot of employers, for whatever reason don't like to have their employees claim 0 on their W-4's but it's your right if you want to.

I know a woman who gets over $3000.00 a year in income tax refund. But she does the EIC thing and she's a single mother with 3 kids. I can't get the EIC either and I don't have any kids but 3 grand would be nice!See, but people like that DESERVE it. It's so hard to raise kids, and so expensive. I don't really need it for anything. I just thought it was odd that I had to be 25.

I found out, I claim either one or 0, and Justin claims the other. Soooo yeah...balance that out in your head. LOL

Many individuals file long form, there are several items you can take off on your taxes especially for those who have medical expenses. Here are a few things that I know of that you can take off on your taxes.

  1. The mileage to and from the Dr. Appt.and or hospital for tests
  2. any medical expense you had to pay out of pocket
  3. any interest you paid on a loan due to medical expenses
  4. clothing and or misc. donations up to $500 are not audited and may be added ( Goodwill, Missions, ect.)From what I read there is an automatic flag on those filed that the donations are over $500. It does not mean that they will not allow it, it just means the IRS will take longer for your return.

These are just a minute few items that I know of and I am not an accountant. It is called self preservation, watching your back, ect. (plus I have an awsome sister who is a wiz at this stuff!)

"Knowledge is power" folks!


Oh an dconcerning the topic here. Initially I felt the same way, you cannot upgrade and expect more SSI.....I think it was just the manner inwhich she stated her initial post.

I was on SSI all through college.I was very ill and yes I recieved monies from the government to help pay my bills. Yes I was divorced, and yes I had 2 young children to raise cause their father decided to step out on us. We were screwed. This was in 1995 when divorce was becoming  the societal plague.

I am thankful the money was there. I had help from family and several friends helped me with the kids; my closest friends, those that I love and respect and cherish.

I lost SSI because too many people were taken advantage of it and because I gained a degree so they were cutting many people off the program. Did I need SSI less? NO. But I am here to tell you that I managed without the money and feel disgusted when I here of people on it when others suffer or even die without it and believe me I know of at least one person that died waiting on their SSI to be approved, she could have had a much better life, and she was an amputee. Life is not fair!


This is to the small group that believes that they are the majority. The name of this topic should have been "Mentality check" not "SSI Check?". It doesn't surprise me that this small group constantly uses words like "we", "us" "ours" and "the whole board". Not one can in an intelligent way prove a point and so they keep the we and us because being right doesn't matter as long as "everyone" (their group) agrees with their ignorance. You are a very small group. Just because when one of you post some ignorant thought and the rest of your small group slaps you on the back and tells you how smart you are doesn't make it so. You twist everyones words just to have someone to attack. And to answer you watchingwolf I will tell you and the others about me. First let me say that you should change your name to watchinghyena. You shamed yourself so bad last time and said you were leaving but instead you lurk waiting for your sisters to find fresh meat and then when you are sure that your sisters have the kill you come in from behind the bush to get your share. I am fourty eight years old. I have been married to the same man for 26 years. I have two grown daughters. I was dx with ra in 1995. I have had both knees replaced. I still live with pain. Oh boo hoo, woe is me. I was a district attorney. My husband is a corporate attorney. We live very comfortably. I have a full time aide. Hate me. We are in a very high tax bracket. Thank me. I still do legal work from my home. I have been a constant visitor to this site for over a year. I guess maybe it's the attorney in me that made me join. Too bad. So there it is watchingwolf. Don't worry watchingwolf the rest of the "pack" will lick your wounds. YUK. Oh, and miles2go, You said what goes around comes around. Why did it come around to you do you think? Do you think that maybe in two more miles it will come around again? Why do you feel so high and mighty to post this? "Or, maybe you have and they don't suit you either. We were doing fine before you came and we'll do fine if you leave. This is a SUPPORT group. Get it? We SUPPORT EACH OTHER! Sheesh."   Oh, and phatgirl, you sure are one to complain about somebodies bad attitude, remember? It's nice to see that you have cleaned up your nasty attitude. You said this? But, not with such a pretentious attitude.  I really believe that if you embraced the people here, instead of constantly putting them down, you would be welcome with open arms. She would be better off embracing an african bee colony. I think that she has made it clear that she doesn't want to join the club. You are like a bunch of 16 year old uneducated girls with no parental control that runs the streets just looking for trouble. And Deanna it is so nice to see you feeling so much better. When somebody said something less than sweet about one of your buds you were sick and depressed almost the point of hospitalization. But running with the pack and being involved in the take down seems to have brought new life to you. Over six hundred lines you posted. Have you ever considered condensing what you say. Do you re-read what you post? You have constantly written that you are right she is wrong. Your friends have built you up to a point well above doctors and nurses and the medical field. After listening to your two hundred line posts, I'm surprised that you haven't already found a cure for ra all by yourself. "We are the greatest. We are the smartest. We are the most interesting. This is our forum." You all try to rule this board with your advise and when some one gives you good advise it makes you mad and you strike. How dare somebody think that they can give advise. If somebody gives good advise of course you have to correct them. You should adjust your attitudes and take good advise and maybe you would be better. You definately need to stop the gang mentality. These friends of you each others would be clapping and slapping you on the back even if you were mugging a blind senior citizen.

Remember that in order to file the long form, or itemize, your itemized deductions must exceed the standard deduction for that tax year.

VIRGIE - I am glad i will not be needing legal reprensentation from you. Oh and i am a very well educated 42 year old whose parents applaud their control and applaud me too. I have travelled extensively and never met anyone with less of a heart or soul. Do you know what compassion, understanding and suffering means? I think not!

Deanna writes with great feeling so why should her posts be condensed.Just because she has a disability it doesnt mean to say that she cant voice her opinions .

Virgie said what I wanted to. You all are pack like. How many of you does it take to attack Ari33 and anyone else that is different?joey239151.3990740741

Virgie I'm afraid I'm not buying what your selling.  It is clear that you are yet another pseudonym for the same old tired character.  A district attorney - I do give you credit for creativeness. 

Remember folks, individuals may not be who they appear to be!


Go away Virgie....go away.  You stink.


I am standing up at my computer and applauding Virgie! Well said! I have to second everything she said. You guys are a class act.

Virgie, you are my hero.

Did you notice I made a point....got beat up; but continued to stand by it without feeling the need to get aggressive? I think it's possible to have an opinion that doesn't agree with the masses here and at the same time do so without totally getting into an all out war with people.

I do tend to agree that it's rarely the popular choice to say something that goes against the crowd here.....but I do it on a regular basis. Two days later I find it possible to leave it behind and move on. I don't feel the need to lash out at those that don't appreciate my advice or agree with it. AND that happens quite often. Frankly that's ok with me. The difference of opinions make life interesting to me.

Quite often I've been told to "Get off my high horse" or told how uncaring I am. I know that's not the way I am. If someone wants to form a quick opinion of me, call me names or try to make me feel uncaring for not agreeing with what's being said that's ok. Tomorrow's a new day. I'll move on.



Lovie,  You and I are opposites when it comes to politics and we have always been able to laugh about it.  You, Deanna, Hillhoney, Katie, Pincushion, Joey, Michele ............ - so many here have supported me unconditionally.  I don't know what or why all this ugliness got perpetuated.  I just pray it does not chase people away.  This board is one of the bests and I do like that it is not moderated.  There are just a few right now that are trying to ruin it for the rest of us.  Eventually they will get bored and get a life. 

PS  Deanna;  You are generous to share your wealth of knowledge and your life with us.  Don't shorten your posts by one word.  You are so appreciated here.

roxy39151.4504282407Lovie, you shouldnt have to change the way you say things to people.  You tell them the up most truth and you dont sugar coat it.  Thats awesome.  Alot of people arent able to do that and i comend you.  Its just sad that some people keep bringing old stuff up.  Cant we just drop it once and for all?


Don't you dare shorten your posts by one single word.  I look forward to reading what you and many others have to say on this board.  You and many others is what keeps most of us coming back. 

Lovie, keep being just who you are...that is why you are special.  We like that you say what you mean and mean what you say.

Roxy, remember, some of us newbies are in your corner too....we support you unconditionally every day just like some of the ones you mentioned.

Disgusted...I'm not surprised she is your hero, you are one in the same, right?


Virgie, I find it very hard to believe that you are an attorney. You certainly don't seem to know how to state an argument. It seems to me that all the posts by you, Disgusted and ari are quite negative to other people. I don't know why that is. It is also strange that each of you has just recently joined the board. It almost seems as though it might be the same person having joined under different ids. Surely that is a wild speculation. But I can see how someone who wanted to cause a great deal of trouble on a board might do something like that.

It would be easier to take your opinions into consideration is you had been posting other comments that really helped people. Like Lovie said, she doesn't always agree and she doesn't always say what the rest of us want to hear. But she speaks up and it is obvious that whatever she says comes from her caring about others. I cannot imagine her not being here even if she disagrees with me all the time. She has also said so many things that have helped so many. So, it isn't about whether or not someone agrees with me or others. All of her posts are full of intelligence and compassion. I have a lot of respect for her.

As far as the length of my posts, I am so amazed that you took the time to count the lines. If you find the length of my posts disturbing, why don't you just not read them. In fact, since you have only cruel things to say to me, I'd really appreciate it.

It seems you are jealous of something. I'm not quite sure what. And, you seem to think you have a better life that you want to throw in my face. Great, you have a good life. I'm happy you do. I'm not impressed. It doesn't make you better than me or anyone else. I'm also not jealous of it. It has no effect on me.

And, it was not being blood thirsty that has improved my spirits, it is the kindness expressed by others outside these controversial threads that has helped. But truly, I am still quite down. Instead of understanding that or having an ounce of compassion, you decided to try and make me the laughing stock of your family. If you were an attorney, then you would know that that kind of activity is actually criminal. What if I was as sick as you implied and then I committed suicide because you so publicly tried to humilate me? I think what you wrote spoke volumes about your character.

You seem to want to keep some kind of controversy going. Why? You seem to think that I am trying to rule this board in some manner. I don't get that either. When I come here, I am either looking for help and advice myself or hoping that something I've already been through might help someone else.

You can twist my words all you want. But why are you taking the time to do so? What purpose does it serve? Can't you come up with your own contributions to this forum? Surely you have something constructive to say.

I know my posts tend to be long. And, I'm sure it's a fault of mine. But it is not a crime and no one has to read them. I'm certainly not going to shorten them for you.

Truly, the only me and they mentality that is going here is the three of you continously ripping apart others on this board. If it's not me that you are attacking, it's someone else. If you keep tearing into people like that, how can you expect them not to respond in kind? It certainly isn't what I'd call a positive attitude. I don't care how many books you read, if you actively seek out to tear others down then how can you be a positive, health person.

You want to make this a better board, then contribue things that help people. Until the three of you learn some common courtesy and actually take the time to be supportive, because this a support forum, I don't think people should really even consider anything you have to say as being of any importance. But that is only my opinion.

You don't have show me any support. I wouldn't be impressed even if you did since by now I don't consider any of you to have any viewpoints that valid. But there are certainly plenty of people who do need support. Why don't you show how noble you can be as humans to give some of them some sage advice? Show us that you can be caring, giving individuals. Now, that I'd like to see.

Lovie- your posts are great and i enjoy listening to what you say.It doesnt matter if we dont always agree with issues but we debate them out rather than the ugliness which others feel they need to use to put other people down.

If it wasnt for your advice i wouldnt have taken my Humira as I was so scared and now I feel so much better for listening to you.

hmhm...*clearing of the throat*You guys...ladies........excuse me for a minute........excuse me, I do not mean to interupt but I just wanted to say that I am gonna go look at other posts while all of you hash this out.Good luck to you all. Today is such a beautiful day and I am going to try and enjoy that too........see ya on the other posts.

ok, see ya later....


Look at all of you now. You attacked Lovie for her opinion. There was no reason whatsoever to attack her the way some of you did. Lovie is not afraid to speak her mind, I've read her posts here for a long time and think she gives a lot of good advice and like kelsaysmommy said, Lovie doesn't sugar coat. I thought it was low and cruel of you people to attack her the way you did.

Ah, excuse me, I don't believe that any one attacked Lovie. We admitted that we sometimes disagreed with her but that we respected her and her difference of opinion. Besides, Lovie needs no defense here. One, she's quite capable of stating her opinion in an elegant and intelligent manner. Two, she's never means anybody any harm. I think several of us have stated how much she means to us. She is somebody that I think the world of. Thank God she is different than me. And I so glad she sees the same situation from a different angle. It seems to me that you are now trying to twist this into some kind of attack against her.

Well, if Lovie thinks that I have been offensive to her, I will happily apologize. Again, we cannot do without her. She adds so much to lives of us here.

No; it's ok....like I said; I feel like I can say things that don't always agree with the masses; make a point and then move on without it becoming aggressive toward me. Even whe I'm told to get off my high horse or that I'm uncaring. Those of you that have seen my post for a while know that while I'm opininated at times and often have my unpopular opinion it's ok. When I speak out it's often because I care about someone and just as I would tell my own children or loved ones when I don't agree with them often I do that here.

I don't feel like it has to make me an outcast. I do feel like others understand that although I tell it like I think it is it doesn't mean I'm trying to hurt anyone. Like I stated early on in this (now) 12 page thread I'm in the opinion that being supportive doesn't always mean agreeing with everything everyone says. Sometimes the things that sound the harshest can be the most helpful if taken in the manner in which they are intended. In my case 99.9% of the time I mean them in honest friendship. I will admit there has been a couple of occations where I said something out of meaness. It's rare though....but I'm no saint.

Joey; thank you though for taking up for me. Everyone appreciates feeling like others understand where they are coming from and I'm no exception. I really appreciate it when someone says they agree with me.....or even understand me.

I also appreciate when I can disagree with others like Deanna, Joonie....or even Roxy bless hear heart (She's been at the other end of my harsh advice on more than one occation) and we can disagree....argue briefly and move on. That means to me that despite things that may be said at times we are able to put past things behind us and move on.

AI is one of my favorite sites. The fact that we speak freely is what makes it speacial. The ability to move past our differences and come to appreciate that in each other is what makes the people here special.

I think Deanna and Lovie's threads are an excellent way to end this long saga...

Let's all move on...please??? 


I'm not giving you the satisfaction of a rebuttal because it's pointless.  You contradict the very words you post.

Venemous vergie - a snake in the grass! It's one thing to take a position quite another to be so cruel to others in doing so. How did you get to be so meanspirited?

Let me just say again that if one of you were mugging a 101 year old blind person, the rest of you would clapping and slapping her on the back. That's the bottom line. That's the mentality you have. It just so happens to be a member of this forum that you dislike. Everytime she posts you all jump on her. From the beginning her only great sin was to speak about the benifits of a good attitude. Phatgirl has been spewing about this Opra approved book "The Secret" like it is the coming of god, going to change the world, make it a better place. When Ari says the same thing the book says you all jump her.


It's not the message....it's the messenger.  Lori

In other words, we don't like you. Ari has given good advise. I have given good advise. Both of us have talked about attitudes and how they affect peoples lives. Ari is just nice about it and the message bothers only those that her good advise would be best well taken by. I talk to you like you are adults. The advise I give is good advise. I just don't sugar coat it. I've given excellant advise. Here's some more good advise, grow up. Quit using your medical problems as as an excuse for your shortcomings. Ari from the start gave such good advise. Ari gave you "the secret" before the book was even released. She didn't even charge you.


It's not the message....it's the messenger.  Lori

Oh yeah, that's right, it's the messenger. You complain about the way people treat you. So many others say they get treated well. Good attitude. Good attitude. Do you get it? People don't look down on medically impaired individuals for being on assitance. That's ignorant talk. The world is your mirror. Do you understand what that means? You will eventually have to realize that other people are as smart as you. You need to grow up. Peter Pan is a good story but not the way to live your life. So anyone that stands up to you has to be one and the same? And yes, I guess I am a newby but that doesn't mean that I am going to bow to any of you. You say the three of us need to learn common courtesy. Well, I have learned from you how to kindly beat someone up, is that what you are talking about? Grow up. Quit blaming every one for your situation. Start with a good attitude. Lose your gang mentality. When good advise is given to you, take it to heart. There are people as smart as you.

Virgie, I really don't get in the middle of these things, but I do need to point out you'd have more credibility with your "good advise" if you spelled it correctly.

"Advice" is a noun ("I asked you for advice.") and "advise" is a verb ("What would you advise me to do now?"). 

Oh hell! Are we counting spelling errors now?

I'm the worlds worst!!

LOL Lovie, it is kinda like the time when someone told me I was to be spelling worst, worse. heheeheee. I changed how I spelled it. Who knew it was not used the way I thought it to be.

But repeated spelling errors do get on my nerves. I am already a bad reader, and easily get confussed.

Well I don't spell well....but I'm a smart cookie. Time and again I spell the same things wrong; and often I read back through my post ans see a spelling error and know it's wrong; but don't go back and change it.

Maybe it's because I do it so often; I just don't care. In my opinion; If I know what you meant; it's ok with me.

Alot of people spell things wrong here and have such a way of saying things you can tell who's behind these fake identities. Often all you have to do is a search on a word that's commonly used wrong in their post and BINGO; you've got your masked person.

That's how we've been able to nail so many of them here. Good thing for me I'm just plain old "Lovie". I don't hide behind new ID's when I want to say something I don't think people will like. I just say them.


I believe some of the world spells advice A-D-V-I-S-E.  Brits? ari3339153.7293518518

Correct this:

Take my advice and do not advise any one to give advice unless they have advised you to give advice, that's my advice to all the others that have given advice.


Hummm... wonder who both misspells TRUETH???

*looks at levlarry and MODR9R*

Not saying anything, just a hint

Oh wait... let's see who all that likes to stir up crap that have windows 98 & IE6?

You can exclude yourself if your username is not Levlarry, MODR9R, or leeann. Might be adding more to this list before it is over.

joonie39153.8067824074Joonie, are you hall monitor?

WHATEVER Joey2 aka Lesle! You are also digusted123.




Ditto Pincushion - I would also advise some of the troublemakers to get some advice soon - seemingly Joonie
is doing some good detective work - just as well there is an attorney here (apparently) - many of us are from different countries around the world and some have quite stringent laws regarding computer harrassment, it would only need one complaint for an investigation to be carried out - dont tempt me.

Hi Cassie- Its ok for some to say " JUST IGNORE IT" but when it gets my goat when nice people are being attacked for no reason. When i first joined this board I got some good advice from people like Arriscowell (Katie), Lovie, Joonie,Deanna,Roxy etc. The support has been constant and they dont deserve to be picked on by others who have nothing better to do.

Pincushion - not quite sure how you took my reply, we are all getting touchy here lately but I was agreeing with you completely, maybe I didnt word it so well. I am not happy with the way this board has gone from being caring and helpful thanks to the people you mention plus others and am hoping that if people are deliberately posting to upset others then I hope they are exposed
and this board can get back to normal.oh sorry Cassie, i wasnt having a go at you, I was agreeing with you too.. As you say we are all so touchy.It was probably the way I said it.APOLOGIES

Cassandra, you have every right to file a complaint if you feel you are being harrassed. If you are looking for encouragement, here it is, go for it. Here in the United States the internet is regulated by the Federal Trade Commission. We filed a complaint with the FTC concerning spamming and unpaid advertising, sending via mail 2117 posts in order to catch their attention and to show the amount of unpaid advertising. Good luck with your complaint.


HI Joonie,

The only help you may get is having your property tax FROZEN. In other words, if you qualify under certain income limits, [may vary from state to state] your property tax will not increase yearly. I would check with the County Commissioners office. Any help is help. Reduction of property tax is a HUGE reduction through time....The other questions you asked, unfortunatley is a NO answer. SSI does NOT pay you more due to personal life style you choose.





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