Okay,
I have been reading these boards for years & years!! Don't respond because typing is very difficult for me! But I would like to respond to the ladies who keep going on & on about a positive attitude!!! But I need to know if I will be kicked off the board for what I have to say about they're attitude!!!!!
Have dealt with Ra for 26 yrs & have a lot to say!!!!
Leanna
Hey Leanna
Nope there is no getting kicked off this board, because there is NO Moderator. The MODR8R you see on here is a fake, a fraud, a phonie...
Say what ya gotta say and let it all out, might make ya feel better.
When you have dealt with this disease for a LONG long time it is hard to have a positive attitude. Most of us try to have a positive attitude which is hard to do and we are well aware that most that come here are newbies, or people who have been brought down to their very core by this disease, but it is hard to be positive, when your life is to you seems useless, or even harder to cope with.
Disguested123 - if you have such a positive attitude why don't you get the positive attitude revolution going. why don't you just post about how good your life is everyday on this board. Com'on be the positive one, and maybe others will follow.
Lee Ann..say what you have to say. I would be curious to hear why you think there is something wrong woth being positive. I can only say that when I think negatively or wake up saying how badly I hurt that my pain levels are worse. I know that staying positive about life allows me to keep fighting this disease, to keep fighting to maintain my independence. To me the alternative to the glass half full thinking is to think the glass is half empty. To me the idea of spending the rest of my life not seeing the good in it is a picture of a horrible life.
Yeah I have RA, i don't like having it, and thinking positive has not altered the overall course of the disease. But, I still find the energy to enjoy life, I have friends and family that still like being with me. I find productive ways to spend my days.
What is wrong with that?
edited to add: I've had RA for 22 years, have had 6 joint replacements plus other RA related surgeries, need at least 2 additional joint replacements, have severe damage in all of my remaining joints including my neck which may need to be fused, have failed almost every medication out there and am on my last one, and I worked full time up until the end of last year. I'm currently on disablity and filing for SSDI. Believe me, I'm pretty dammed realistic about what this disease can do. I've lived it. Negativity is not inevitable with RA..its a choice
Buckeye I tend to agree with you. I've learned through practice that if I get up everyday saying to myself "Today is going to be a good day" "Good things are going to happen to me today" "I've got so much on my agenda and I plan to accomplish it all!" My day just goes better. I tell my daughter every morning as she dets out of the car "Smile girlfriend.....Today's going to be a good day!" Some days she looks at me like I'm the geeky mom on that movie that tells her kid every morning "Make Good Choices!" but sometimes she'll come home and say "Momma you were right; do you remember you told me this morning it was going to be a good day? Welll you were right!" and then she'll go into this long drawn out story about this boy she's had a crush on the past two months actually talked to her in gym today. It gets her excited about things. My life is the same way. When I leave my office and I've accoplished everything I set out to do that day; I feel proud. Does it make me not have RA? No....half the time I limp to the car and head straight to bed....the heating pad and two tramadols......BUT I'M HAPPY!!
I can promise you that there are many, many days I wake up saying to myself "Come on sister....get it going; It's going to be a good day" and I kind of have to fight that devil on the other shoulder that's telling me to shut the hell up and go back to bed; but I try my hardness not to give in.
I'd like to welcome you to AI Leeann. I hope that maybe you are just offended by a few remarks that may have been said in anger between a select few and not actually trying to stir up another thread where things turn ugly. So to answer your first question here (Which I'd like to say sounds a little odd) No; no body gets kicked off here. Many, many many have left because they could dish it out but couldn't take it.....or they were honestly too offended by the speak freely concept here; but No, you won't get "Kicked Off"
Again; Welcome to AI.
Mostly true Buckeye but boy it sure is a blessing to be able to say to people who understand I'm TIRED. I'd like to chop my feet off. There just has to be someplace to say RA sucks. I feel better not to have to keep it all bottled up - we all need someplace to dump crap! Marian - for as long as I have known ya, and it has been a couple of years. You have always wanted to chop off your feetGuess title of post was misleading!!
Nothing wrong with having a positive attitude if it makes you feel better!!! But to continually attack other people because they don't meet the standards you have set for yourself is sooooo wrong!!
We each must deal with this disease the best we can! After 26 yrs of this crap I am just tired of being told how a positive attitude will make it all better! What bull****! I was 30 yrs old when dx. On top of the world with husband, son & new daughter! Within 6 months I had it in every joint of my body & I sure as H*ll wasn't feeling positive when I couldn't pick my baby girl up or play with my son like I use to be able to! Now I am hoping for a grandchild some day, but also know that I will never be the grandmother I want to be! I will never be able to pick up the baby, babysit because I can't change diapers, run after them, play with them as a normal grandmother could! And I am pi**ed royally about it because that is what this disease has done to me & a positive attitude is NOT going to make it better!
After 26 yrs my sisters & brothers still don't get it! I have sister who continually tells me if I would just get off my butt & do something I would feel better!!! As if that is going to help all my swollen joints!
Continually told what a positive attitude I have! BULL! Attitude has nothing to do with it. I take it one second, hour, day at a time! If I feel good I totally enjoy my day, if not, I have the right to piss & moan about it if I want too, and not told I need to adjust my attitude.
I resent people coming on this board & spouting off at others because they are not posting positive things in their lifes day in & day out! Get over it!
The few we have on the board who are so young with this disease, I feel for you! Know how hard it is to deal day to day with kids, potty training, tantrums, etc. Just deal one day at a time!
I, personally, like to hear about normal things that happen in our daily lives. My life does NOT REVOLVE around my RA! Unfortunately, I have other health issues that are more pressing at this time!!!
Leanna
Marian..I do agree that we all need someplace to vent. Because there are bad days. I also know that there are people who do becoming clinically depressed and need medication. I've never said that we didn't. I also know that somedays it is not easy to be positive. We all have those little voices that Lovie described. The choice comes down for most of us about which voice we let win the vast majority of times. Everytime someone gives into the voice that says life is bad, or decides it hurts too bad to move makes it easier to make that decision again the next day and the next. Again I am not trying to minimize anyone's pain levels. However I also know from personal experience that when I gave in to the pain and didn't move the pain levels never improved, when I got up and took a shower and moved around the pain began to lessen as the joints loosened upLeeAnn,
You should be able to say what you want. You have been intimate with this board for years and years and so you should know the politics here. One group is from another arthritis forum. If you side with them you will be just fine and accepted into the group. The rest of the members here really won't say much too you. We are pretty docile. If you go against the group, you won't get kicked out, but you will get a beating. Let me say that i like having a good attitude. It seems to make others smile and treat me better. It's kin of new to me. I used to have a bad attitude or should I say a mean attitude. In my past if someone had said something wrong to me I wouldn't care if they had RA or any thing. I would gladly straighten their crooked arms for them for free. I have been trying to change my attitude. This RA has helped me alot. It has been easy for me to change with the exception of people with bad attitudes that bring it to me. I don't believe that anybody should have to have a good attitude or a bad attitude. But i think that if you have a bad attitude you have to be very careful of what it buys. I like the new person that i am trying to be. My new hickory cane wieghs almost 10 pounds. The end is shaped like a hammer.
LEV
why do you lie levlarry? If anyone is getting beat up it is those who truly care for the well being of their fellow RA'er's. There is no little group, only the ones who have popped up on here over the last few weeks who are causing more harm than good. And well quite frankly you are not helping. Are you apart of that "group" that has popped up over the last few weeks? Looks like it to me.
We are allowed to disagree, but when you do low blows to someone who is already down, then you are not agreeing nor disagreeing you are harming.
I consider marian, lovie, cindee, msmidge, hillhoney, pin cushion, and many of others that their names escape me now, because I am so durn hungry. But I do consider them as my friends, even if they do not consider me as their friend. I come to this site to check up on them and see how they are doing. Are you going to consider them as part of the "mean group" too, because I have befriended them?
I am not a mean person. Yes, I can be mean, and have been in the past, but it was all out of being hurt by that person and really thinking we were friends. But the past is the past and she has forgiven me. which is half the battle. The other half is overcoming my supposed "Reputation". I mean you would have thought I done every female member on this board's hubby. The way it keeps get dredged up.
I am not letting some fraud make me leave my friends again. Unless my friend come out and tell me they do not care for me to be on this board. Would not be the first time I have been told that.
Hey Joonie,
That's not just my opinion, that is just absolute fact. If you don't like it joonie you and your friends can beat me up again. It'll make you feel so good. I can say it because the group beat me up when i first came here and i'm not the only one. Who are the fellow RAers? Those that are of the group and those that don't oppose the group. That in itself is the trueth. Don't call me a liar. Nothing i have said is a lie.
LEV
For the record; I'm not with any group. I'm kind of what you'd call an independent; but I'm registered Rebublican.
Yeah; I have what I consider to be an asset. A positive outlook on life in general. I've had RA for years. I've been to hell and back and somewhere in between. Do I know what tomorrow brings? Nope; not yet.
No one on this board bashes people when they come on and say "Oh Hell! My feet hurt so bad I could cut them off". It's not even close to that.
This board has somewhat become really strange lately; But once again I'm entertained.
Once again I'd like to say to you LeeAnn......it's very odd to me that you've just now decided to say something. In all your 26 years of experience and knowledge you choose now to say something and say what you've said here? Come on......give me a freckin break! I think you've just recently joined in the hopes of stirring a pot that had suddenly begun to simmer.
Hope you enjoy it as much as I do.
well, if I beat you up, I am sorry. I am sorry you are not a strong enough man to get over this and move on. I am sorry you are not a strong enough person to help make this board a place for everyone. You just help fed what so many of us are trying to make the past.
I do not care if anyone goes against the grain. There are some I disagree with, but I do not beat them up over, most times I just move along and not even reply.
I am sorry that you feel like you have to make it your mission in cyberlife to forwarn everyone they are going to get beat up over something they post. You take a chance when you post of being judged, discriminated, or even beat up for it. I know I have been. If you read the post of the last few weeks I have been beaten up for being young and disabled. A year ago I was being judged for being a negelectful wife and mother, because I could not tend to them like a good mother was suppose to. To this day those comments stay with me because I truly believe that I am what they said I was because if someone says that about me and I am already feeling down about it myself, than it must be true.
LevLarry is right, there are certain people who beat others up. It is one group of people.
Lovie,
Apparently you didn't read my post about how absolutely hard it is for me to post because of my hands!! I have been reading these boards since the early 90'S!! I knew if I posted I would be bashed by people like you!!! That's why I don't post!
Don't know why it showed that I just registered!! We used to have a great bunch here, but they have moved on to other sites because of people like you!
Leanna
I've certainly been on the receiving end of the "beatings" but it doesn't hurt my feelings or break my spirit. Déjà Vu!
I'm blonde, lol....at first I thought "hhmm, she just posted that, must have hit it again by mistake", and then it was there again and again. hahahahaha I GOT IT. You made me laugh, thanks.
Why make your first post like you did? Not only did you make the comments; you started them. If you have in fact been watching like you have you know all to well that knocking the idea of a positive attitude would only stir up the high spirits of some of us like my self that will in fact say AMEN!
I'm not going to promise not to post on this thread again......but I will try to reframe.
So LeeAnn,
Which do you like better, good attitude or bad attitude now that you have seen the both on this thread. Oh, don't forget to duck. I guess it's just become the newbie initiation. They are going to have to post the "newbie way to post". I hope they remember that most have RA and it's hard to bow. Yours is pretty mild. Probably not even a bloody nose. The good people, alot of us are still here, most don't get involved, they just kinda pull the shades.
LEV
I'm a newbie to this board and I don't feel I've ever been bullied. I
also feel I have a pretty positive attitude.
There's really no "point" I'm trying to make here; other than being a
newbie does not mean one gets "bullied" here. Far from it. I have
been treated very well here.
All i can do is think of the people who may have children and are dieing of cancer or some other terminal disease and my RA pain and problems don't seem to be quite as bad. Personally, i'm gratefull that what i have can be treated although, not cured. I try to keep a feeling of gratitude in my life for the things i do have,but also for the things i don't have! Just my way of looking at my RA.
DON
""I can promise you that there are many, many days I wake up saying to myself "Come on sister....get it going; It's going to be a good day" and I kind of have to fight that devil on the other shoulder that's telling me to shut the hell up and go back to bed; but I try my hardness not to give in.""
That pretty well sums it up for me. Many days I try really diligently to have a happy attitude/smile/positive outlook just to keep from being swallowed up from all the pain, restrictions in my life and depression, at times it can just be a general sadness. But then I remember that my daughter and I have been through a lot and my health has made several tuns over the course of the years, especially in the last 3 years. Darn those healthy people! *chuckle* oh but not funny I know.
WElcome to RA.fibro.osteo and the life altering experiences that envelop our lives. A good positive attitude comes in really handy is all I have to say so I try to look at the lighter side of life and thank my lucky stars I can still do what I can.
jode
Oh great, I did not read on all the posts before replying........another frickin' fight...see now I am off topic because I replied before going to page 4.
Another new topic stirring up the goo. Geesh you people can be argue! Is everyone in pain or what???????.....I am pulling the shades while you folk battle it out.My back,shoulders and hands hurt too much for this stuff.
I will check in maybe in about another couple months or so. Maybe by then things will calm down. Good luck. May you all have less pain.
jode
Jode - dont let them win - that is what they are trying to do, destroy this board, hang in there, there is something spooky about what is going on here but they will get bored with it all & move on.Leanna,
My apology for being so late in my response but i had an opportunity to take a trip with a friend and had such a good time. Warmer weather and everything.
I still believe that you and anyone has the right to use this forum to vent and have a bad attitude. I know for a fact that some members will "aw poor you'" you to death but, (there's always a but, isn't there?) nobody owes us anything because we are sick. Nobody owes us sympathy or empathy. Nobody owes us an opening of a door. Nobody owes us a smile or a good attitude. Our sickness is our grief. Nobody can feel or know what we have or feel. Before you were sick, you could not feel the pain of an RAer. Your sympathy or empathy would be not much more than a passing moment at best. Now we have it and the world is different. So many people were diagnosed with cancer six months ago and died yesterday, not in twenty six years.
Let me just assure you that there is never a day for me without pain. Not as bad as it used to be thanks to the meds. I used to bad attitude everyone with my grief. What i found was that i was depressing those that loved me and actually felt so much sorrow for me. My friends started to quit calling and/or inviting me to their gatherings or outings. I was a bad attitude complainer. Now, I complain to me, but not much anymore and when i go out i leave my bad attitude at home. My loved ones are so happy that i am better. My friends love having me around and are usually the ones that want information about my sickness or meds. Seems like they all want to help me with my injections. I like doing them myself because i can take two days to actually inject.
Why are you still in so much pain anyway? What meds are you taking? I know that until the "miracle cure" that i am waiting for and is right around the corner, i am not going to be pain free. After re-reading your post i just figured it was probably just one of those days? Yesterday i was at the hardware store and an old crippled up man looked at me and said with a smile. "No dancing for you tonite." Sure made me laugh. My right knee was in such pain. All of the pain has helped me to write a song and it goes like this:
Ouch, ouch ooowwch owch oooh ow ow ouch.
Nobody owes you or me anything. I am so appreciative for every good thing people do for me, big thing and little things. I never forget to tell my doctors thank-you and how very much i appreciate them not just trying to keep me alive, but alive and well and functioning. I know that the cure for this disease and so many others is just around the corner.
It's still cold here and i am still kinda hibernating. When spring comes, my posts will be much shorter. I love spring. Spring makes me feel 20 years younger. Anyway, not real heartfelt but, good wishes to you.
LEV
Leanna,
One more thing that i wanted to say. I know that there is an alternative to me waking up with pain and that alternative is not waking up. Just doesn't seem like a good alternative to me. I hope that you see and feel some sunshine soon.
i dont believe in judging people because if someone's attitude stinks i'm sure there are reasons for it. likewise, if someone has a fabulous attitude to their disease/life, then there are reasons for it. some people just land on their feet and some people fall over with no one to help. personally, i dont know evrery aspect of a persons life or what's going on behind the scenes so my belief is "live and let live", everyone needs tocry sometimes .... anna_ukTheres that great song by REM called Everybody hurts sometimes. My husband said it reminds him of me when i'm trying to be too upbeat and i need to cry but I wont let it beat me
When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone,
When you're sure you've had enough of this life, well hang on
Don't let yourself go, 'cause everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes
Sometimes everything is wrong. Now it's time to sing along
When your day is night alone, (hold on, hold on)
If you feel like letting go, (hold on)
When you think you've had too much of this life, well hang on
'Cause everybody hurts. Take comfort in your friends
Everybody hurts. Don't throw your hand. Oh, no. Don't throw your hand
If you feel like you're alone, no, no, no, you are not alone
If you're on your own in this life, the days and nights are long,
When you think you've had too much of this life to hang on
Well, everybody hurts sometimes,
Everybody cries. And everybody hurts sometimes
And everybody hurts sometimes. So, hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on
Everybody hurts. You are not alone
LEV
I mentioned this on this board before, but a good book to read when you ask the question "Why me?" is When Bad Things Happen to Good People by Rabbi Harold S Kushner. It's a classic!I don't think I have done the why me thing because I knew that I could develop RA and was prepared to develop it. It runs on my maternal side of the family. There is a chance that one of my girls can get it too. Infact, my oldest (she is 22) is showing some signs already.
I had a positive outlook on life and really loved and embraced life before the RA and the OA started to limit me. I didn't change that once I became limited. I looked at every small thing I could do when I was on bed rest for all those months as an accomplishment. Even walking without assistance on some days was worth celebration. Sure, there were days I was frustrated and down in the dumps. It is only natural to be frustrated at a condition that is beyond your control at times. But with journaling, family support, and friend support, I made it thru. I still embraced every day that I woke up and saw my kids and my husbands smiling faces.
I don't think anyone can be positive all the time whether you have a chronic illness or not. Life just sometimes throws crud at you that you have to work thru to get to the positive part. Like when my beloved father passed away. I was sad that he passed so young and was not in my life any longer. But he had cancer and was pain for the last few months of his life so it was kind of a relief he was not suffering any longer. But it took me time to get there and realize that.
I deal with pain on a daily basis. I have accepted that. To those that haven't accepted that it is difficult for them to be positive. But they will get there eventually. Having a chronic illness is much like going thru the 7 stages of grief. Everyone goes thru them on their own schedule. We need to allow that.
I don't think any less of you Roxy! Your posting just makes you a fuller person.....does that make sense? Even though I don't KNOW you, you post *so* much that I have a GREAT GREAT GREAT idea of who you are. Others, I only know as words on a screen. But you, you've developed a heart and a soul through your posting. :)
Everyone needs to vent sometime, and this *IS* the perfect place for it. I agree.
I wonder why many people with RA feel we are to blame for getting this disease. No one would be so cruel as to say to someone with cancer or any other serious disease that they deserved it but somehow with us it is because of something 'we' have done that brings this disease on. Just as people with other chronic diseases are not usually told that if you changed your attitude you would be cured or exercised more or eat a better diet, we often are. Sometimes these things help or even cure chronic illness and I do what I am capable of with these things but the pressure seems to be for some reason worse for people with RA than any other disease to be perfect human beings.Venting is not positive attitude but letting go steam of what you are, incapable of solving the problem!
"Why me?" Some are complacent once satisfied that the disease is genetics what make them worse is they go for foods of taste buds. They disbelieve in lifestyle change and good natural diet. Their only consolation is meds/super meds that can temporarily ease pain and get back to routine.
Another very. very small group has made determination to fight the disease NOT with DRUGS but with HERBS and NATURAL FOODS. The process of battling the disease is not easy. First and foremost, appropriate herbs can effectively ease pain and control the disease and continuously reverse the severity. Thru' years of awareness of natural foods and abstaining from bad foods, daily diet can build healthy body and keep the body in proper balance.
Medical science has a view that chronic disease like arthritis can not be cured. I disagree, NATURE can cure arthritis. I explore, found, use nature given foods, I overcome arthritis
It is hard work in exploring, searching, learning, belief, determination, adjustments and changes of lifestyle, discipline, time to overcome the disease.
NATURE CAN DO ITYou asked if you would be allowed to voice exactly how you feel and you were invited to do so. I really think you wanted everyone to read your post, so in return, I hope you don't mind if I voice exactly how I feel. And, I pray you give me the same courtesy of reading it all the way through.
What's wrong with ATTITUDE!!!
As far as these boards... I read them often. I don't get involved very often because you guys scare me!!
I'm not sure that's such a good thing though.
God Bless,
Vicki
I took a little time off from reading all the "high school drama" and stayed away for a while.
People are human and have lots of emotions. Who is anyone to say how a person should feel. Some days I feel like crap and come here to feel better. Some days I feel good and want to share the good news. I have met lots of people here that are so caring and understanding. If not for this website, I would be lost. Lots of people here are going thru the same things. Sometimes up.....sometimes down....it's human nature.
As I read all these posts, I was reminded of many old sayings my dad would say.......(he lived with polio his whole life. dx at 2yrs old. ....had a very bad limp and one leg smaller than the other..raised us 5 girls by himself...he died in 2002 after fighting liver cancer for 6 mnth)...........
"Don't judge people unless you walk a mile in their shoes".
How boring would life be if we had only one emotion and everyone shared the same opinion.?????
CinDee
Well said Vicki.