I have been battling with depression in a HUGE way lately, and now I just was told that, due to budget cuts, my position is being eliminated next year. No job and no insurance with this school district.
I was dx'd with RA about a year ago and nothing has worked yet. I've done mtx, Enbrel, and Remicade. My numbers are still sky high, I still often run a fever at night, I hurt and swell every day, it's in all of my joints, and I feel like warmed over crap. Now I'm supposed to put on my big girl pumps and go look for a job, and I'm just scared. I am a single mom with a daughter in college and I live alone.
I KNOW I have a bad attitude. I'm coming to you and TELLING you I have a bad attitude, so don't even bother. I've been knocked down a lot of times in my life, but this is the first time I've felt like I don't know how to get up.
I'm sorry Scout....not much I can say or suggest that can help...that just plain sucks. Do you have any family near by that you can count on when times are tough? Do you have any friends near by?
I sure wish I could help. You certainly will be in my thoughts and prayers, Scout.
Kelly
I am sorry scout. I wish there were something I could say to make you feel better, but there is nothing I can think of, except I am sorry.
I hope you can find another job, and find the cocktail right for you. I know it seems like you keep getting knocked down when you are already down. That is how it is for most of us. But ya know... there will come a day when you will look back and see, that you are over the hump and moving forward. It just, what seems like takes forever, takes a little time to overcome. I just know next year about this time you will be in better spirits and not feeling so depressed.
Huggs
Go see your doctor and get on some anti-depressants and try to get some time with a counsellor. Get on top of this depression and then start thinking about looking for a new job.
Ditto pammy!
I'm sorry to hear that Scout, hopefully you found out early enough to find another position for next year.
Are you currently insured? If so wouldn't COBRA be an option for you
Scout,
That's not bad attitude, that's just fear growling. A year is a long way away. So many good things can happen before then. Throw away your big girl pumps. Put on those comfy loafers. Talk to your doctor about disability. Scout when people talk about bad attitudes so many of them mean it in a good way. If two teachers apply for one position and one has a bad attitude and one a good attitude probably the bad attitude person would be hired. Don't hate me for saying this but try to keep a good attitude. Good things could be just around the corner.
LEV
[QUOTE=pammy416]Go see your doctor and get on some anti-depressants and try to get some time with a counsellor. Get on top of this depression and then start thinking about looking for a new job.
[/QUOTE]
Really good advice. You have time to make it happen. This isn't a 2 week notice.
Later Take the cobra whether you can afford it or not. You will find a good job - maybe better than you have.
I'm really sorry this is happing to you.I agree with the others on the antidepressants. They saved my life, that's for sure. Don't be afraid or ashamed to ask for help. Unfortunately, depression seems to go hand in hand with this RA thing. Don't let it beat you!
Good luck and just take some time for yourself right now. Let yourself adjust to the job situation and refocus yourself. You have lots of time to look once you are feeling more upbeat!
Scout,
I'm sorry you are going thru this. **hugs**
Lori
You're in my thoughts Scout.Thanks for the encouragement. I'm being treated for the depression and see a therapist, so I'm covered there. Unfortunately, the interviewing for next fall starts in the spring and positions are being posted now, so I don't have as long as you might think to get the job lined up.
I've been thinking about disability, but I have no idea if I'd even qualify or want to qualify. I can still do many things. Not all in one day, of course, but nevertheless...
Scout,
Being told your job is no longer available, for any reason, feels like a kick in the guts no matter how positive one tries to feel about it. Been there, done that. Harder if you have someone to support and no-one close to help.
I hope you soon get some meds that work for your body; being achey and fatigued doesn't exactly lend itself to giving you "get up 'n go" to race out and find another job. Sending positive thoughts and prayers that that an even better one comes your way soon.
Lorraine
So sorry Scout
I have been on the teacher roller coaster myself... it's a bummer for sure. I have seen others in our district in the same place; a very good friend of mine was devastated when she got laid off and not rehired in the spring.. ended up moving out of province, finding a great teaching job, and mr. right to boot. I will be praying for you and your family. I do believe that when one door closes another opens... I hope it opens to a bright future for you...
sending warm hugs your way
Guss
No great words of wisdom but wanted you to know I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. I am another believer in "when one door closes another opens" Hugs and good vibes.
I know what it feels like to go through whatyoua re going through. It is absolutely devastating.
I have a million thingsgoing through my head to suggest yet not one will surface to type out so I will write them as I ccan.
For certain, take each day as it comes. I know you feel a crunch on time and it is real, but you have to be at a performance level that will help your situation and you cannot do that if you are devestated, I know I have tried. SO be sure to take each moment as it comes an dproblem solve with a focus if at all possible.
Your daughter may haev to get a student loan for a bit to help with her college, there are also several scholarships available for students especially if you lose yoru job. Next off check into social services, they are there for these times an dyou might as well find out what your options will be. You may qualify for monies and health insurance as well as help with groceries and cash for looking for employment. Remember to keep ALLLLL receipts when looking for a job including all gas and paper products used for resume's...you will not believe how it ads up, especailly postage ( can you deduct postage?)
Make a plan and try to stick with it. If you are anything like me you will be in panic and depression mode for a bit. Life is so unfare!
Please keep us posted, I realize how difficult this is for you, it wasn't that long ago I was going through a similar circumstance and I am not so sure I ever got over it, I just manage each day the best I can and know that change comes no matter what. As stated earlier, a lot of things can happen in a year.
Smile...............whether you want to or not, smile anyway! Even if it is just for a split second. It helps send endorphins through and helps make you feel better for a bit and best of all it makes you look pretty! :)
Hello Scout,
I know how you feel, believe me. Glad to have you here. Definitely get on top of the depression part before working... This is extremely hard for me also, but one way or another I have to get through it too before taking anything else on... I agree with all the folks that posted, They are right about this stuff...Have a good one..
Wait a minute. I'm just a bit suspicious. What kind of job do you have
And your comments about a bad attitude aren't nessesary. Even the ones with the best attitudes in the world have bad things happen to them and get down on their situations. That's natural. The test is how you deal with it I suppose.
You have a lot of friends here to lean on for support. You can do it. Don't give up.
Scout I just wish to say how sorry I am for what is going on right now and I hope things will get better. I will keep you in my thoughts xoxoxoxI suggest that you contact your district superintendants office and inquire about the possibility of being able to step into another position within the district. Depending upon union rules, etc. perhaps something else will open up that you will be eligible to move into. Let it be known that you wish to remain with the district and feel very loyal to them, and remind them which grades and/or courses you are qualified to teach.
The other option to keep in mind is substitute teaching. There is such a shortage of subs in our area, subs are paid over a 0 a day, and can pretty much work every day they want to. For someone with RA the flexibility of takiing a day off when you choose to sounds pretty appealing.
And above all, keep your insurance through COBRA until you have other coverage. DO NOT ALLOW COVERAGE TO LAPSE!
I'll keep my fingers crossed for you - it's time for some good news!
Karen
Wow...I really do appreciate all the nice messages. I didn't realize how much I needed some kindness right now.
I am working hard to try to look at this as an opportunity rather than a set back. I just didn't realize I was ready for a new adventure right now, but I guess I was wrong, huh? Anyway, I'll be fine.
scout another thought
Would a low dose of pred help you thru the next few weeks of job hunting - say 5 mgs every other day? The stuff energizes me. Fatigue is banished, I know I would do better at interviewing.
I agree! Prednisone has saved my life while i'm waiting for Methotrexate and Remicade to help me. They do help with fatigue, reduce swelling & no more PAIN!, Good luck you are smart and can manage this 'stuff'.Can't think of any advise you haven't heard here, it's a bummer, but you'll get through it. I wish you good luck in finding a job soon. I would toss away the big girl pumps though....not comfy.
We're all in your corner, keep us posted and good luck.
Scout-I saw the psychiatrist today and he took me off of work for the next 2 days, and then I'm on spring break for a week. He wants me off of work so this new med can level off and I can drive...and walk without falling over.
Thanks for the suggestion of prednisone. I am on pred (10mg a day) but I wonder about more. I dunno.
The big girl pumps are out the window! I'll wear my wide sensible shoes. Thanks!
Maybe your doctor will put you on long term disability. Then your employer may have to extend your insurance. Don't let your insurance lapse more than 2 months. RA is one of those diseases that are uninsurable unless you keep your insurance. Does your employer now have long term disability available? Bad Attitude ? No way, we have to struggle to deal with this disease and support ourselves. You are just brain storming