How are you Deanna??? | Arthritis Information

 

Anybody heard how Deanna is - it's been a wee while now??  I'd like to know that she's

Take care and God bless you in your recovery!

Last time I talked to her she was pretty exhausted and depressed.  I will call her this weekend.  I miss her posts also.  Deanna is all HEART

My knees are recovering nicely, but I still can't hardly walk because of the tremors/neuropathy. It's hard to see such progress on my knees, with such good range of motion and still not be able to hardly walk. I still must use the walker and my chair most of the time. I'm working hard to improve that situation but only time will answer that problem.

I am still in the process of working the complaint on Julie's behalf with the mental health providers. They keep messing up her appointments and then blaming her for the problem even when at the end of day, it is obvious that she didn't make any mistake. They have also broken their privacy requirements in my case, blabbing private details in the lobby of their facility. Because filing a complaint through their process has ended us in a bigger mess, I am now forced to file through an outside agency or legal entity. Yuck, more lawyers.

I just don't have all the energy it requires to deal with this. Everything takes forever and nobody keeps their promoises. My lawyer has not been paying attention to my case and he may have caused me to lose both my claim with Social Security and Long Term Disability and he somehow thinks that his verbal assurance cuts it at this point. He had better get his act together because I will contact the law board or another lawyer to file charges against him.

But it is a shame that when one is in such a difficult set of problems that those who are supposed to provide some kind of help, some kind of encouragement seem bent on doing just the opposite.

The pain specialist has been helping me as much as possible. But nothing seems to treat the tremors or the pain. It has become a constand with no relief. She has encouraged me to get another doctor as my primary since they do not care to help me get any of the tests I need.

I haven't wanted to even post here after the words of those you have been so unkind in the last few weeks. I am having enough trouble keeping my heart up without being blasted by those you don't know the meaning of having compassion. But then I think of those here that have been so good to me. So, I feel I must answer the question of where I am.

I am lost in a sad place. I keep fighting for what is right and looking for answers. I keep waiting for opportunities and hoping for kindness. I seek health or just a single day without pain. I haven't given up, but my strength is weakened. I know that it has to get better but I am just so weary of fighting battles.

I don't understand why when one gets so sick that others turn their backs and offer cruelty instead of a little bit of aid.

Still, I know I have friends here and do love you and I try and at least read what is going on with each of you. I just haven't had much strength for even that right now.

I think it is just a long storm and soon it must blow over. Soon the sun must peek out and declare its domain once more. Soon.

I am so sorry to hear you are having such a hard time!  I am glad the surgery was a success but know you are frustrated with everything else.  You have more than your share of issues right now.  Just remember, there are plenty of people here who do love you and are cheering for you.  You are in our thoughts and prayers.  Keep up the positive thoughts.  It has to get better for you soon. 

Just skip the nasty posts!  I don't bother with them.  There is too much goodness here to be brought low by troublemakers.

Don't let anyone who's said negative things about you, win.  If you enjoy being here posting, then do it...it might make you feel better. 

Sending positive thoughts your way, Deanna!

Hoping things get better for you

Oh my dear, sweet Deanna, It breaks my heart to hear you sound so disheartened and sad!

I wish more than anything right now, that I was close enough to come and help you through all these dreadful problems. I'm not real strong, but I bet, together, we could kick some butt.

Please don't even read the posts from the horrid people who have attacked you lately. I don't know what their problem is. Maybe they are just jealous because you are so loved on this board. But I hope you know that your many friends here would much rather see your name on this board than any of the uncompassionate jerks who have attacked you lately.

You are our "Sweet Deanna". Always here with an encouraging word for anyone who needs you. You explain things so well, when someone doesn't understand something they have heard or been told. And you always have a shoulder when anyone needs one.

We need you here. Know that you have many friends here.

Much love,

Nini

 

Deanna, I am really saddened to know that you are not having the best of times right now.  As if all the pain and illness stuff is not enough for you to cope with!!  Know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and I wish you peace and comfort.  You are missed!!

Sending warm wishes and hugs your way   

When I was first diagnosed and scared and angry and frightened, it was your posts both to me and others that you made in other threads, which helped me to understand what was happening to me, and that I couldn't let it beat me. It was your posts, which gave me the courage to start posting here and take control of my RA, rather than letting it control me.

You fight hard and I have the utmost admiration for your ability to keep going. You have many supporters here, both visible and invisible.

I don't know if the following will help in anyway, but I know you write and would like to share this you. It was written for a friend of mine, who was having difficulty finding something to hold on to.

May your hearts light guide you,

When things are looking dark,

And may our friendship find you,

And hold you through the storm,

 

Look not to the lightning,

That catches on your eye,

And listen not to the thunder,

That rolls, so tempting by,

 

Listen to your heart thump,

Soft against the rain,

Remember, light inside you,

It will not always be the same.

Scattered

Deanna I will pray for you at church tomorrow.  It seems that hurtful people attack only when we are already down rather than when we are strong.  Makes them pretty weak and lame in my eyes. 

I was at a meeting this morning at a non-profit that I do a little volunteer bookkeeping for and someone said "The people that don't work need to do more".  What a hit in the heart.  I am suffering today but you seem to be going through so much more, being hit from every angle.

They won't win because I can tell that you are stronger and I will make the call to God for strength for you.  We must be there for each other.

 

Deanna,  My heart is breaking for you.  I am going to call you tomorrow.  I have been so busy enjoying feeling well, I have neglected you - and you have always been there for me.  I am sooo sorry.  Talk to you tomorrow. 

God Bless

CinDee

Deanna, I certainly hope you feel better soon, I really can't imagine the place without you..I wouldn't want to! I am sending all of my good wishes your way, You are in my prayers also... Please feel better soon!Deanna, sending love, prayers and gentle hugs your way. 

Deanna - Take a deep breath and go forward at great speed. Fight those who think they can step on you and push you around.I send you lots of energy to do the fighting

Lisa

As always, with a bit more rest and reprieve, the day seems a bit brighter. I am so sorry to have been so down. I thank you for your encouragement and Scattered, very much for your poem. It's beautiful and touches one's soul. Bonny, I understand about what you mean about people thinking you can do more because you don't work, like this was some kind of holiday or glorious retirement.

There has been a lot of talk about positive thinking and how powerful it can be on the board lately with the implication that those who have troubles or are especially ill are not positive thinkers. This is very unfair to those who are going through a period of great difficulty.

When I get out of bed every day, and I have faith that I will be able to stand, it is a positive thought. When I make the fourth, fifth call of the day trying to solve one of my problems, that takes a positive thought. But it is not just positive thoughts that bring us through. It is faith. That is what holds me together. When everyone in life has turned their back on you, when you have lost everything, when you are ill, when you cannot care properly for your children, when you are ridiculed for being ill, and you still find the strength to go on that is because of faith. I have had many times in my life when that has happened to me. I didn't do anything to deserve the treatment I received, but I kept going on and I have rebuilt my life from scratch many times now. I have learned that you do not have to be a bad person in order to have strong, cruel enemies.

When you are handing out encouragement to others, please acknowledge where they are at that moment. We don't talk much about one symptom of this disease that does hit us all from time to time and that is despair. Newbies get hit with it as the diagnosis hits them hard as its true nature dawns on them. Then those who have worked hard in spite of all its manifestations hit it again when they have to accept the fact that they can no longer work. Some hit when they see relationships fail because the people in their life refuse to understand. Despair is real and it is a natural emotion and reaction to bad things happening.

When someone mocks a person while in this state by saying that they just need to think positively it is a cop out on that person's part. You don't have to show any compassion then. You don't have to face the possibility that the same thing could happen to you. When I saw this happening in thread after thread, I was astonished. Where were the compassionate people that I thought I knew. Sure, it's good to have a positive attitude. But if someone is down, let's help lift them up not condemn them for having a bad attitude.

I have exactly the right attitude for the desperate situation I find myself in. It is easy to sit in your comfortable house and work at your nice job and not have to worry if you will be able to pay your utilities or have enough food for the week and speak to others about positive attitudes. When the situation is this bad, the only hope I have left is faith, faith that in spite of all I can see and know and touch, He will take care of me.

Again, I'm sorry that I'm down. But when you are continuously having your physical and emotional resources drained, that's what happens. You need to restore that which has been sucked out of you. For so many months I was coming here for that help. Then a few, a very small number, said awful things. But others jumped in on this "be positive" thinking.

Sorry, that doesn't cut it in the real world. I live in the real world.

I appreciate the kindness that I have received and there's no way that I am giving up and I'm not going to go away. But right now, I am exhausted and I need to step back a bit and recoup, to heal, to restore.

I will not disappear. I'm just very sick and very tired at the moment. But I have faith that it will get better.

BRAVO DEANNA!!! Totally agree with every word you said!

Hope you will be feeling better soon!

 

Leanna

 

God Bless you , Deanna.

Take the time you need and do what you must do to heal emotionally from the hurt you had here and the very real problems you have had to deal with. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

I am always here when you need someone to talk to, or someplace to  go where your pain is understood. I will miss your regular posts, but understand your need to recover from your pain. I know it will not go away,just may be a little easier to bear.

Please do whatever you must to try to recover from the hurt you have endured. And know you have many friends who would do anything in our power to keep you from harm.

Much love & prayers,

Nini

 

Deanna,

  I didn't see any of the bad posts  I haven't been posting alot but I do read alot of posts but don't read them if you can help it..People who do that aren't worth wasting your time on. You have enough to deal with. Hang in there..keep strong..and have faith. I will pray for you. Pat

Deanna,

You are always a bright spot for me.  I love and look forward to your posts.  Please don't let the ninnies bring you down.  We love you and all wish we were closer to be of more help to you.

Please know we all think of you daily and wish you the best.

Lori

Deanna - you gracious presence here has been sorely missed! I was so saddened to hear of your recent troubles,  I have been worrying about you, too. As for the "unkind" posts, try to let them go. What goes around, will come around, to those who sent them. I finally had to quit reading the thread.  Positive thinking is a great concept, but it is a bit hard to come by when we are in such pain and dealing with so many problems in life.  I hope you can get the neuropathy resolved soon and begin to enjoy that new & improved range of motion!  Pat
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