When our families grow up | Arthritis Information

 

My son is 15 and on Monday he is going for an "introduction into the army week". He wants to join the army when he leaves school (. If i didnt have the RA i think i would look into fostering and give so many other kids a chance that they might never get.I'm in the same boat, our oldest DD is 20 and in 2nd year of college, youngest DD is 17 with one more year of high school. I have talked about taking in foster kids, but DH doesn't want to. I really felt fullfilled when I was a stay at home mom, went back to work when the girls were 15 and 12, and have enjoyed that too, especially the money, but I LOVE being their mom.
Deidre

Hey Pin cushion,

I know how you feel.  I have 3 sons, youngest 23 and for the past two years they were all out on their own.  One married with 2 kids of his own.  I missed them so much when they first left but then I kinda learned to like it.  Recently, youngest moved back home.  I think there comes a time when they need to be on their own.  He's driving me crazy now

Gus

I have twins, soon to be 19 and both away at different colleges.  Husband travels so i'm alone a lot.  I ran out and got a job.  I figured if I was home alone all the time I'd be too bummed out.

The first 3 weeks I cried, the 4th week still thought about the boys and was sad.  Seems like now when they are due to come back I'm saying to myself "oh boy, here goes my sanity", lol.  You can't win.  You do get used to them being gone.

This is the first Easter without one of my sons, and it happens to be his birthday.  I am having a hard time with that.  Nothing I can do though.........Life goes on.

I think about this a lot too since I have one grown and gone already and the other 2 shortly going to be leaving too.  My middle daughter will be 15 next month and the youngest is 12.  Both have what they want to do after high school planned out.  My middle one is going to culinary school and the youngest is going into the military.  It really is a mixed emotions type of deal.  I have dedicated so much of my life to my family that what am I going to do with myself when they are gone?  Worry from long distance?  Am I going to drive them nuts calling them all the time?  Can I still make them call me when they get home from going out with their friends?  UGH!!!  They go for a week every summer to their older sisters house and I am missing them after the 3rd day.  What am I going to do when they are gone out of the house permanently?

On the other hand this has been a well traveled road raising a family and I do look forward in a way to it being just me, DH, and the dog.  I also look forward to more grandbabies.  Our oldest is getting married in June and her wonderful other mother (her step mother actually but we hate that word so we say other mother) and I are already asking when to expect our next gbaby. 

I guess I will embrace that upcoming empty nest phase of life like I have all the other phases.  It is amazing as your kids grow the worries that we have about them change and grow with them. 

I have the "empty nest syndrome" No hubby either so I am totally lost right now...hey, nothing is forever, things will change soon I am sure of it.

Jode

When my kids moved 6 hours away for college, I missed them and worried about them all the time. But I grew to enjoy having the house to ourselves with regular visits from the kids.  Now at 25, my son is married and my daughter almost 24, is back home.  I'm kind of looking forward to her going out on her own.(She's met a wonderful guy...and my husband and I are thinking he's the one)  Don't get me wrong, I love my kids and love having them here, but there's something nice about seeing them growing up and starting their lives.  Many proud moments...like seeing your child get married...buying their own home....that sort of thing.  Now I'm looking forward to having grandchildrenI have found empty nest syndrone one of the hardest things to deal with.   When you are on your own with RA
it is hard to do everything yourself and it is so hard to keep your mind occupied on something other than your illness.   I have always read a lot but I am not reading much lately, hopefully just a phase and I cant be bothered with television.   I talk to my dog, he's a good conversationalist and never argues.

Cassie Wow pin cushion!
My son is leaving the Army, here in the States..after 5 1/2 years, very honorably discharged.! Made Captain at age 25, had Army Ranger training, and officers got a nice pay raise...I cannot believe they are letting him leave, not deploying him. He has served his time..He has traveled the world, but not to glamorize it, he has gone through some tough physical training, and has taught physical training..He was in the National Guard in college, and ROTC in college, that means reserve officers training..and the military paid the last 3 years of college, and we paid dorm, and books....In the military, they paid for scholarships, and he has completed 2 masters degrees, so he has a hook-up for a great job, for the government. He is a great leader. and we are proud of him..My daughter is living, married and working overseas...so my son, will never live by me, with his job, will have to live in europe some times..so it definately is a big empty nester ssituation, getting older, and no children around, and grandkids are thousands of miles away, so have to save up money to visit them, what can u do, they graduated from college, we did our job. At least we should be grateful they are gainfully employed, i guess..To others who have their family nearby, and can dote on grandchildren, you are very fortunate!

Aimee your post really prepared for me what I am going to face in the future and I thank you for that.  Altho my daughter will be going into a different branch of the service, I never really thought of her thousands of miles away.  Quite the adjustment I will have to make. 

Your son has made many accomplishments with his time serving our country and I only hope my daughter can do the same.

I've been dealing with the empty nest syndrome for a few years now since I remarried and my boys didn't want to follow a new step-father and the Air Force to Florida. It's been the most difficult time of my life and hind sight is 20-20. Those years are gone now and I can't get them back, so I must do the best with what I've got left.

Now, my 48 year old hubby is going to retire from the Air Force after 26 years and doesn't know what to do now that he's grown up and I can't work either, and we're going to get under each other's feet, and we only have ONE computer! OMG I'm already going nuts. Seriously, I love him to death but I don't know how couple's do it. I need my space. I'm actually getting very stressed out about this. We need a bigger house and we definately need another computer.

i hear you, Miles, my daughter is here with our only grandchild, 11 months, and she is leaving tonight, she lives overseas, working there, with husband
My house is big enough, a 3 level Georgian, but it's hard to keep up with it, and i have dogs, who are now my children. I do the best i can, Swifter a lot of things, but we do think about downsizing, but all the junk we have accumalated.
I would chance a blood clot going on a 14 hour flight, to visit daughter, so she comes twice a year, here to the States, and hopefully she will move ba ck one day, if not by me, to another state.
What can you do? , when you have RA, i just try to do one project a day in the house, and don't want a cleaning service, i am unable to work, so i just do things at my own pace, hubby is 63, so will be retiring in a few, so he is healthy, a walker, so he will have a short "honey-do" list each day, hope we don't kill each other when he retires, and that he is able to chill out, and go for a walk each day, because i cant walk that far...take care, and those of you with children nearby, and grandchildren, what a joy that is!
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