I have been w/ my boyfriend for about 2 years now. He is a wonderfully, wonderfully man. He's 8 years my junior (I'm 30) but very mature for his age. I have been married twice before. First one just young and dumb, from a VERY small town where that's what you did. Get married right out of high school and start popping out kids. Anyway, I have always been very careful not to get pregnant because I didn't want children. (I have a niece with Cystic Fibrosis) I never wanted to chance having a child that I have to watch die. With all the pain I have been having and stress @ work, I must have forgotten to take 2 pills. I am taking the type of pills that you take continuously. I started bleeding that dark after period blood at first. I didn't think anything about it (break-through bleeding seemed normal) but it got redder and redder. Yesterday when I went to the bathroom and there was a large clot with what looked to me like tissue. I believe I miscarried.
Elda
Methatrexate is a no no with pregnancy. I'm fairly certain it causes
I am sorry to hear about your miscarriage. Please see your doc and make sure you are doing ok.
Humira and pred are ok during pregnancy but mtx is a no no. Yes, a lot of time pregnant women do go into remission while pregnant and it lasts til about 6-8 weeks after pregnancy.
Hi Elda,
You're still young! I'm 34 and have a 1 year old child. The advice I received was to just stay on prednisone during the pregnancy (and go off Plaquenil and Enbrel). I am also part of the OTIS study on RA and pregnancy. The good news coming from that research program is that drugs like Enbrel may be safe during pregnancy, but a conservative Rheumy may suggest staying off it. Anyway, if you want to have a baby, definitely go for it! Just be sure to seek advice from your OB/GYN, Rheumy, and also a perinatologist if possible.
I didn't go into remission during the pregnancy and so I had a rough time during the pregnancy and I also nursed for 5 months and was off Enbrel then too. But it's all been totally worth it!
Cindy
The MTX has to go. You should be off it for at least 3 months - maybe more. It causes terrible defects.
You can be tested to see if you are a CF carrier. Both parents must be carriers and pass that gene to get a child with CF. Also the fetus can be tested in month 3, I think. My college friend's 2nd child has CF. They have 5 kids and only 1 had the misfortune to get CF. All of the kids have been tested so their carrier status is known - I think only the 1st child is a carrier.
The other members know more about the rhemy drugs than I do so you should listen to them but this sounds familiar to me.
When I was 27 years old I had the same thing happen to me. Large clot (golf ball size), dark blood then bright red, ect. Freaked me out. Certain that I was pregnant (loud scream here). OBYN told me to rush into the office and after some testing he determined that I was pre-menopausal. Thought he was smokin' something. But learned it’s not uncommon for young (yeap, 30 is young in my world) women to start that early. The key will be if your cycle continues to be heavy some months then light others. With all the drugs you are on it might have kicked in early for you, who knows but you still can have children, trust me, my son was born AFTER that. It takes years for your estrogen to deplete.
So don’t stress out over this, you have time to plan and get your drugs lined up. It could have been just your body saying “ Hey, let’s get ready for the menopausal party she’s having 20 years from now” I KNOW that you would rather not hear the “M” word so early in your life with everything else that is happening but you might want to consider that as a cause.
We women are complex little creatures that defy logic sometimes.
Hi Elda,
I guess I come at this from the overly cautious old fogey camp. My advice would be to slow down, don't be in a rush to do everything at once. Really have your life in order and come at parenthood from a place of stability, and knowledge.
As you have already experienced, relationships require a lot of planning, work, and maturity. Being impulsive in relationships and having ups and downs is something that comes with youth, and is an important stage of life. Exploring life and people and figuring out who you are and what type of person you need in your life, helps you grow and prepare for later more permanent relationships.
Having a baby is a wonderful, beautiful passage in life. It fulfills you in ways you never knew were possible. But it is a passage, it is making a forever committment to devote yourself to this new person, putting their long list of needs above your own, for at least 18 years, if not forever.
I know you and your boyfriend are very happy and it seems like having a baby is the next step. But honestly, even though you say he is mature, 22 is very young for a guy. The personal growth you have already experienced through your previous relationships may still lie ahead for him. And dealing with RA is difficult for even the strongest of relationships. Be sure he really is mature enough, and committed enough to be a forever father to your child. Your child deserves that, and you deserve that. Ask the folks here - being a single parent is extraordinarily difficult when you have a disease like RA. You need to feel certain that you will continue to have the emotional and financial support needed to help you raise your child.
I also think with your particular health issues genetic counseling would be very helpful to you. Make an appointment and talk with them and then make an informed choice.
I wish you continued love and happiness, and the joy of being a mother. Good luck to you Elda.
thank you Hillhoney,
I know having children is a very important step to take and I have never wanted children until the last couple of years. I also know that once you have a child, you are a parent forever. I still talk to my mom every day. I'm still her baby and I understand that part of it. As far as Chris being young, I have thought about him having to deal with my RA and it's not fair to him just as it's not fair to us! I love this man and have put a lot of thought about bringing him into this lousy RA world. I love him and almost didn't date him seriously because of the RA. But you know some people have hard lives that make them adults early in life. Chris is one of those. Mom was junkie and alcoholic dad raised him with his grandparents. (Back when Mr. Mom wasn't the norm.) Chris had to take care of his father more than he was taken care of.....you know what I mean? But I feel like God has a plan for me and I will accept what he gives me. Good or bad.... hopefully good. lol. Again thank you for your caring enough to reply to my post.
ELda