It's been a lousy week. After feeling really good for so long, last week I had an incredible flare and my ankles were so swollen I could hardly get thongs on my feet to go outside. Thank God it's summer, or I wouldn't have been able to go outside, what little I could walk. Work has been incredibly stressful. To add to my misery, yesterday my mom started her favorite rant with me: my weight. Now, I have definately gained about 10 lbs since starting all of my daily meds and I am by no means a toothpick, but I would safely say I am an average sized person. I wear a size 10 and am about 5'4. I don't know what I weigh lately. According to my mom, and she is serious, she says I need to lose about 40-50 lbs to look good. Seriously, she thinks I'm that big. She is constantly telling me I have to excercise more, and walking the four miles or so that I try to walk a day doesn't count since it's not all at one time. I am so sick of it I don't know what to do. She's even told me before not to take steriods when I have a flare because they will make me fat. I live with her so I have to put up with it. I won't deny that I have a few vanity pounds to lose, but I find it hard to convince myself that I am as big as she thinks I am. I am not married, and I think she thinks I am too fat to be attractive to anyone and thinks that's to blame. My self esteem is in the toilet. I even asked my doctor once if my weight was hurting my condition, and he said not to worry but added that I shouldn't try to gain. The funniest thing is that my mom isn't obese but she's not thin either. And after she finishes her rant, she offers cookies! Arghhh!!!!!!!!
Sorry to hear your mom thinks that way about you.
I am 5'2" & weigh 146 and a size 14-16 all my weight is in my hips, butt, and thighs. My ideal weight is 118. Use to be that before I had my daughter. My husband says I am not fat just slightly over weight.
I would not worry to much about what your mom says. I would just blow her off, since she does not know what it is like to have RA and not being able to exercise like need be. And any exercise, let it broke up or all at once does count.
And as for a man, well I have seen a many of women with boyfriends and husbands that weigh much more then you and I. And well, if they can find someone so can you! Heck hubby was "talking" to a thing much fatter than me. I was like why down-grade if I was going to cheat I sure would up-grade...lol.
Just do your best at exercising, doing what you need to do and treating your RA. Do not let what your mom says get you down. It will just make you feel worst and in turn possibly make your RA worst too.
Starling~I'm sorry to hear you're having a rough week. It doesn't help at all when those closest to up do their best to break us down as well. I don't know what to say to that. I don't know that I could manage if the ones I loved made me feel that way.
I hope things improve for you soon.
Take Care,
Lovie
We are blessed Lovie.
Good advice Joonie. We have to learn to ignore the people who make the comments that "just do not understand". I am almost fifty years old and I still have to work on not letting people get to me. They are just words and obviously your mom has her own issues to deal with! Tell her your doctor says you are just fine health wise and you don't have the same vanity issues that she does. Good luck.
Roxy's solution is better than mine....you may not like mine but I'll give it anyway in hopes of a giggle from you. Take the cookies she offers and shove em in her mouth and tell her that your weight is not her concern, you've spoken to your doc about it and if she doesn't like your weight, stop with the cookies. Shoving them in her mouth is only for a few minutes of peace and quiet about not needing to listen to her.I'm with wayney on this. Just because they're our relatives, in this case mother, doesn't mean they are right, or act in our best interest. I have never been able to understand people who act like that. Don't they know how destructive their behavior is? Do what we all resort to at times; let it go in one ear and out the other.
Barb
If you were to lose 50 pounds you'd be a Calista Flockheart or Lara Flynn Boil, or one of the Olson twins - in other words - TOO thin. How are you supposed to enjoy a cookie when it's proceeded by a lecture? That's plain old mean and manipulative. I'm 5'3" and fluctuate between an 8 & 10. I've gained weight from being on enbrel and atenalol (but I was too thin before). It's taken me some time to get used to it but I'm finally accepting my new bartlett pear physique. Luckily my fiance is supportive and encouraging and never offers me guilt cookies. I'd have a hard time not chucking that cookie right back at her so I'm probably not the one to give advice, lol. Hang in there Starling! Your weight sounds great to me. I know I need to lose about 40-50 pounds but it doesn't sound like you do. Frankly, even if you did need to lose weight, that is a personal decision and no one should make you feel bad. Our society is a difficult one. You see too many magazines displaying the skinniest people on the cover and in between the pages and then you get bombarded by the news telling us we are all too fat. Sounds like a no win situation to me. Follow your doctor's advice and ignore your mother. Maybe when she is receptive you could explain your mother how much she hurts you. Take her to a doc appointment and have your doc tell her your weight is fine. It's better than being anorexic. I've seen a lot of stories on TV lately where their using more and more "Life Size" models and I'm happy to see it. I'm in no way "over weight" but I'm not the skinny minni I was in my 20ties either. I personally think I look healthier...and I certainly feel better. Hopefully our society is changing so that the new look of our times is what we're really seeing in when we go out in public. Lovie
STARLING,
SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR LOUSY WEEK AND
THE LECTURES YOU ARE GETTING. YOUR
WIGHT/SIZE IS WHAT MY GOAL IS RIGHT NOW!! I
HAVE GAINED TONS OF WEIGHT OVER THE PAST
5 YEARS-NECK SURGERY AND DOWN HILL FROM
THERE. THEN THE STERIODS UP ABOUT 15
EVEN FROM THAT
ANYWAY, IT'S HARD WHEN YOUR PARENTS KEEP
BRING UP WEIGHT AND STUFF. MY DAD IS LIKE
THAT. I KNOW HE MEANS REALLY WELL AND IS
REALLY WORRIED, BUT I STILL GET ANXIOUS
WHEN I GO TO VISIT HIM, EVER SINCE MY
DIAGNOSIS THOUGH HE HASN'T SAID AS MUCH
TO ME AS PREVIOUS.
P.S. I AM 5'1" (CAN'T LEAVE OUT THAT 1"!!) I AM A
LARGE SIZE 16. WANT TO BE A 10
TARA L
I PRAY THAT THE REMAINDER OF YOUR WEEK
WOULD BE GREAT!!!
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