Because hubby upset me! The tard had the nerve to accuse me of something I did not do! And he did not accuse me in a well-mannered way, but rather in a annoyed way. He said something in his annoyed, angry voice accusing me of messing up his printable CD lables by placing soemthing on top of them that creased and wrinkled them.
He done that a couple of weeks ago, when my mother was visiting for a few days, she strightened up the house. She tries not to touch his stuff. She put some of my stuff somewhere and it was in his way or something and he looks over at me and says "Why did YOU" blah blah blah (do not remember exactly what "I" done that is why the blah's...lol...plus that is all I hear when he talks to me when I really do not care to hear what he has to say.) My mommy was sitting on the couch and I looked at him and said "why you blame me? You know I did not clean the house." Then he just shut up and did not say another word. It kinda erked me, but I did not hold on to it.
So tonight when he accussed me again it really pissed me off. Yet again, he knows I do not pick up after him or anyone else for that matter and he asked "why did YOU put this in there?" NOT "WHO put this in there?" And I proceed to remind him I do not pick up after him or clean house. Then he called me "lazy". Pissed me off even worst. I started cussing at him & calling him names all the while yelling on the top of my lungs at him. I was really mad if I had something to throw at him I would have, but the only thing I had in my hand was the computer mouse and well it was connected to the computer...lol...he is lucky I did not have a cordless mouse, other wise it would have been protruding out of his "dense" forehead!!!
I then left the room before he used my most hated word to be called "B!tch" and went to my room. Yeah, yeah ya'll are thinking it is the pred by now aren't you? Well, it is not! I was like this way before pred...lol.
He came to bed about 2 hours later and I asked him to appolgize for accussing me. He said no. Anyways, he said that I am the only person he knows that uses their laziness as an excuse!!!!
Yes, I could try to explain what exactly RA is and how it makes me "lazy", but he is too childish and immature to comperhend it. Yes, he is a very bright, smart person, but he thinks you should be able to work thru your pain, discomfort, or whatever it is. WHATEVER!!
I live for Wal-Mart, being on the internet, and many things I like to do, but lately I have not done much of anything. I fuss when I have to go to Wal-Mart. I am not on the internet like I use to be and tend to my brothers website like I use to heck I have not even updated it since May!! And I use to update the website every 1 - 2 weeks.
If it was not for my son I would stay in bed 24/7, but I know he depends on me. Yes, I do fuss when I have to get out of bed to make him a bottle, because I am stiff and hurting, but I do it anyways. And I stay up and play with him and tend to him & daughter. Even though some mornings daughter has to make me get out of bed, because I do not want to get out of bed, because I am so tired, stiff and hurting.
I wish hubby could understand that This is really hard on me, especially after going 9 months without many RA symptoms and then it just hitting me like a truck, with non-stop swelling & stiffness, I guess those are flares, and not being able to do what I want to do.
He also says I am lazy because I ask him to get me a drink or soemthing to eat or even get my medicine for me. Yes, I might be because I am lazy, but he can always say no. BUT it all goes back to my meds I have to have him open my pill bottles, then break my pred in half, so why not since he is there by the fridge get me something to take my meds with? It helps me to have to endure unnecessary pain.
I have tried to stop depending on him, but I cannot do what I need to do without getting frustrated and/or annoyed. I will just give up. For example I will struggle to open my medicine bottle, and then be so annoyed after I get it open, when I try to break my pred in half and when I cannot I just throw it back in the bottle and close the bottle and walk off. I have done that many of times, but still had to ask him to break me pred in half. And lately I have been having trouble with my shoulders to where I cannot reach my medicine off the top of the refridge, because my arms will not go that high up.
He is kinda like a child he will complain or say something about having to "help" me. So, that is another reason I am tring not to depend on him so much.
Sorry it is so looooooong. I just had to get it off my chest. There is more but this is already way to loong.
Thanks for "listening",
June
June:
I know that this can be upsetting -- but I handle it in a much different way. My husband is forever saying "Why did you do that?" or ascribing fault to me where none exists. I made a joke out of it. "Yep, it's my fault, it's always my fault, even when it's not my fault, it's my fault." and that usually gets him to laughing so hard that it never escalates into something more.
The "lazy" issue is another one that we've also been through -- I guess it took me nearly dying on him to convince him that I was one sick woman. I don't recommend this course of action, however.
Try to turn a deaf ear to his accusations or make a joke out of them. It works -- it really does!
Hugs,
Janis
Oh Dear Joonie,
I hope you got some sleep afterall. I'm so sorry, that's a terrible way to end an evening and go to bed (never easy to sleep when your wanting to inbed the mouse into hubby's forehead
I'm sure things will feel better with a fresh new day at hand (you'll be tired, but this will blow over, I'm sure). Sounds like he's just angry over his little "doohickies" that got wrinkled. I'm so sorry he spoke to you that way...they are proffesional "button pushers" when they want to be (better than kids even) so don't let it get to you. We love you Joonie! you are kind, caring, fun and funny. I wish he could feel how you feel for just a day.....I doubt you'd ever hear him call you "lazy" again. I am hugging you, I hope you can feel it
Just keep in mind that men are, for the most part, idiots. Even
the sweetest, most loving, caring, understanding man turns into an
idiot when "his" stuff is messed with. Thank you guys!!! I did get some sleep about 7:30am to 2:00pm well not continous sleep, but at least it was sleep! When we were first married I had post-partum depression. I was a real B-word and would just love to start fights. I even cleaned house, but did hubby care? No! I would mop the floors and then the next day if it rained he would track the mud from the back door all the way up the hall to the living room!! I would post notes on the door asking him to take his shoes off at the back door, but would he read them? Yes. Did he care? No! He said he cannot even remember a time when I cleaned house!! OMG!!! I done it until daughter was 3yrs old!? Hello!!?? I might have slowly tappered off with the cleaning during that time, but I did clean up, and completely gave up after she turned 3. I would be hurting & stiff so bad after I cleaned up I would have to lay down and rest and sometimes take a nap! I gave up on washing dishes because that was really hard on me; it would make my back and neck hurt and then it would make my knees so stiff I could barely walk to the living room to sit down to rest. Island Woman - I do not always get like that. He just really made me mad of accussing me knowing I could and would not do it. I usually make him laugh when he is upset about something like that, but that is only because I usually chime in on his "fit" toward the middle or end and do not really care what he was pitching a fit over to begin with. I will say "Awwww...the lil' baby." Then say "would you like a bottle to go with that whine?" Then he will crack a smile then it is all down hill for him. Pam S - Oh he thinks he knows how it feels to be in pain, hurting and stiff, but just not all at one time and in every part of his body. It was only in his back and it was just pain, and of course it went away. roxy - yes, I do feel lazy when I cannot clean house when I want to or even need to. A couple of months ago I called my mother in law up crying telling her that I needed my house cleaned up before the next day, because a lady from church was coming over to visit. I tried everything, except being rude to get the lady not to come over, but she was worried about me and she is a sweet old lady. So, MIL came down and cleaned up my house for me. Done a good job in all of an hour, where it would have took me days to do what she done. I do not really think I am depressed, just kinda down. I have been depressed before and I do not feel this is. It is not so much lack of energy as it is to keep my body from hurting & being stiff. wayney - LOL!!!
He is so annoying. I think I will write him a letter to put in back in line...lol...those usually help when he starts to stray back to me not being able to do anything right. He just takes people for granted and think he does nothing wrong or it is not his fault. Yet, again he is childish.
My question is if he thinks you're so lazy, how did you stir yourself
to put something on his precious lables? Sorry sarcasm
there.
Let me tell you, even after 21 yrs of dealing with this stupid disease
and 10 yrs of being married to a man who has never said I was lazy, I
still feel lazy much of the time. Sorry to say it. Doesn't
give much hope that the feeling goes away huh? But then again I'm
an anal type A person who thinks nothing I ever do is enough.
Now, I'll shut up and picture a man with a mouse in his forehead. LOL...what a pic.
Hope all is better today.
hugs, wayney
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