young -person rant | Arthritis Information

even though ive had this disease now for over three years, i am returning to get frustrated. I thought I was "over it" even though I have a severe case. When i got this illness at 18 it was the beginning of college life... and as i got worse and worse and couldn't walk well i got into this relationship with a guy who took really good care of me

now after 2.5 years of being in that relationship, im suddenly single, over the break up -- and have lost the weight i have gained from being holed up in pain and barely walking. (50-60lbs!) >>Enbrel and MTX got me moving again.

now with all this newfound male attention ::wink wink:: im mad that I cannot run jump and play with the big girls.

im also scared that if i have to use some self defense maneuvers (since im dating new people, blind dates etc) Im going to be too weak to defend myself.
im getting ready to graduate college, so whats next besides dating, and whatever and settling down??.. the world is so friggen scary now, you dont know who to trust.

ive been working on barely pumping 8-10lbs (sad) of iron to increase my arm strength (need right side/right dominant elbow replacement).. there are just so many things that are different now.

brings bad memories.. last time i was in this situation, i was so bubbly and happy.. right out of highschool --- didnt have to worry about drinking on methotrexate.. (i cant stop getting blasted... its like i dont care about my body) -- i was just a happy young adult back then.

now things are so annoying.. then you have to set and watch the drug company commercials "threaten" you that if you dont stay on your drug you will be crippled.
im trying every thing.. herbs, diets, everything.. cant stop injecting enbrel.. i get in so much pain after skipping out on doses... scary ass drug too..

i just want to be normal..

now, it just like... runs my life.
man, what a bummer at your young age, I'm so sorry you are having a hard
time. and it is really hard to watch your friends doing age appropriate
things and you cannot particiapate. I have my moments with this disease at
my age (46). The thing you need to keep in mind is stay focused on the
things you can do. Form friendships that are safe and non threatening. You
will find a wonderful guy who will love you. Try to take it one day at a time
and make the most of every day. I know it is easier said than done but it is
true. Find some hobbies that you can do and that you enjoy doing. Fill up
your days with quality. I'm sure you already know what your limits are. What
degree are you graduating with and do you have plans post graduation?
And congratulations on getting your degree. You have already shown that
you are a fighter by getting through college despite your RA. I wish you luck
and keep posting and updating.

Don't give up girl. You've been doing really good lately. Don't let all these thoughts of fear and worry consume you. They have a way of over taking us and before you know it all those thoughts become reality if you don't step in ans stop it! You have far more power than you think girlfriend. Control your thoughts......control your life.

Hang in there. You can do this. The world is your oyster!! Make it happen sister!

Dear Cha, Wwow, that was a powerful post!! I think most people go through what you describe. It always seemed like a help for me to think of a 4 year plan....not that I followed it or anything, but it just was a do-able goal. Your physical thearapy sounds like a good career, and you'll be working at that. It's a good base to start from. I know you'll find a new 'relationship' that will please you and that will fit into your planning....Maybe you could do something you've always wanted to do but couldn't for some reason??Learn to >>>>>>? Something exciting and new. You've had your nose to the grindstone getting through college and all, a nice breather would be helpful (whattaaaaya think?) Oh, this RA crap will not keep you down, for sure, you are an inspiration!! SarahYou have done so well so far - just keep in mind that this disease fluctuates all the time. You may improve heaps in a short time, we just never know what direction it will take. I have found that by trying to pace myself, not always possible but is so important and to use the good days to get done the important things and on the bad days rest and pamper yourself.
I know how vulnerable you can feel not being able to defend yourself.   I have a personal alarm that is extremely loud which I have never had to use but feel better with it & hope if I get into difficulty someone will come to my aid.
It is so sad when young ones get this disease, it seems so unfair but it probably wont always be like this.   My pain levels arent as bad as they were - it varies now & I have some good days, fatigue is a problem but I still get enjoyment out of life so keep positive. I have found one of the nicest friends I have ever had because of RA, also with an autoimmune disease, so there are good things that can come out of this rotten disease.
Hope things improve for you soon.
Kind wishes,
I'm not too good at these posts but I just wanted to give you some support. It's funny (not really) that you say you just want to be normal. I said those exact words to a good friend of mine just three days ago. It's easy for me to say but you really should right now focus on your accomplishments. You've managed to finish college with this stupid disease. You did it! I understand what you mean about the drugs. I too am on Enbrel. I HATE those commercials with the people running through fields, sailing in a sailboat, etc. And these commercials say basically you'll end up crippled if you don't stay on THEIR medicines! I feel like "what did i do to deserve this?" I feel like my body totally betrayed me. I've never smoked, don't drink to excess, geez I wear sunblock every day, even in winter! I don't eat fatty foods, I excercise and i get this!!! I do try to remind myself though that there are people who are still much worse off than I am. I am determined to not let this crappy awful disease ruin my life. I'm only 40 years old (ha - Only!).

As far as the dating goes, my advise is you will find someone who loves you, treats you with respect and wants to take care of you. As a "momma' I have to give the motherly advice: Don't look for it. Love will find you.   It could be in the strangest place - on line in the grocery store, at the car wash, at a really bad party, waiting in the dentist office! But it will find you.

Please give yourself credit where credit is due. You're great!

Honey

Sophista dahlin you are a great example to our young ones with RA!!! You have done so well and you are such a strong person.

You will find the right person. You are such a smart person and I don't think you will have a problem with guys and having to defend yourself. You can tell the good from the bad.

Keep your head up!!! You CAN do this!!!

Sophie, so nice to read your post. the last posts you were writting was about the awful pain you were in and not getting the help you needed from your meds,and doctors. But now you seem to have come out the other side! i am not down playing how you feel, i am just gladd to see you over that horrible pain you were in. i know its never really gone, but you seem to be able to focus on other things now instead of your pain:) You are making progress girl! I can tell your a survivor,smart.and funny. And i am gladd your able to be able to think past the pain now.

kel

You are scared because you are on what you perceive as a cliff in your life. We all do it. Big life change, now what? Can you handle it? You know the familiar activities of going to school. But all of it is going to change.

But in reality, each change in our life is still taken in steps. You'll being doing the job search, one resume at a time, one interview at a time. You'll get the job and be so excited and scared. You meet lots of new people and what you thought was going to be hard will be so easy.

The same rules for safety still apply even if you are physically weaker. I have to admit I am more cautious. I'm not going to even be in a lot of situations where someone can cause me harm. And, you can set up your own dating rules. Use things like group activities, girlfriends backing up girlfriends. And those best friend guys that you know and they know you will never date each other, they make great linebackers for watching out for you. They teach those self-defense classes to elderly so I imagine you could learn some of the skills yourself.

And do get some pepper spray and attach it to your keychain. Check out the tazer guns. More women than you realize are carrying those. And think about getting a dog that you can train to go with you. Did you know that you can get a companion dog just like the blind have? They have to have special training, but they can go with you everywhere and can be different sizes and breeds. This might be a good time to consider if one would make a good addition in your life. Then you can have both a friend and a defender.

The one thing that I am sure of is that you have the moxy and ability to take on the next part of your life. Right now, I couldn't do school so you are steps above me. Think back on all the things you accomplished with RA, in spite of RA. You have what it takes to handle what is next.
Thank you everyone for your wonderful responses -- it must be the fork in the road now. seems like every little thing and emotion is enhanced..
i was looking through some professional classifieds today and I hate having to consider "what i can physically do" to consider a job.
:-P
I will just have to "tread carefully"
godbless everyone

There you Go!, Fly like an eagle!, we just had the most wonderful Kite Festival here in Central California on our beach by the ocean in Morro Bay.People came from all over the country to fly kites. Some huge, like 50 feet tall/long, an octapus in light blue, a huge teddy bear, and and hundreds of kids and adults with their own kites up in the air. Amazing how exciting kites can be. I'll try to put a picture here for the board!!

I know you can, for sure, fly like an eagle.....Sarah

Or an Angel.

You can do this Sweetie. Just hold tight to your faith. There's a job out there that is perfect for you. You've worked so hard in school....God has plans for you. Pray for answers and guidance. The Lord will lead you to where you need to be.

I believe in you.