OT, Post Partum Depression | Arthritis Information

 

Does anyone on here have any personal experience with post partum
depression? It has been so long since I had a baby, I have not a clue
about this. My first two daughters didn't have this but I'm worried about
our new mom of 4 weeks. She is 25 and had her first baby 4 weeks ago.
She and the baby came to town and spent the weekend with us. We got
an instant sense that something was wrong. But she didn't say anything.
She showed up, unpacked all her stuff and set up camp on our family
room couch. And stayed there for 3 solid days, except for bathroom
breaks and to eat. She has not bathed the baby at all in a month, just
wiped her face and butt. The baby is clean but the baby nurses
continually, the whole time she was here. I can count in minutes the
amount of times the baby was off the breast. The baby is a month old
and has gained 3 ounces and is skinny. Our daughter has a flat affect
and absolutely has no energy, no motivation. She lacks any expression of
excitement about being a new mom and in some ways, is kind of acting
resentful. She is having terrible marital problems. I think that is why she
came up. She is just not the same person. We tried to talk to her but she
insists that everything is hunky dory. Does this sound like post partum
depression? I just do not remember the other girls acting this way. Hi Lorster, I have two sons, aged 10 and 6, I suffered with Post natal depression for 2 years after the 10 year olds birth, before I would admit there was anything wrong as I was afraid to admit there was anything wrong.  The time I got "found out" was when I sold up everything I owned in Aussie to be back home with family in the UK, it was then and only then that my sister noticed something wrong and took me to a Dr who prescribed antidepressants and reassured me that I wasn't a bad mum or going around the twist, the main difference in my depression was that I couldn't have cared less about my husband or myself, I was good with the baby, strange I know but the Dr said it was still PND, so please bring this subject up with your daughter if you think you can or maybe one of her sisters could as she may just be too afraid to admit it.  This may be her way of crying out for help.  Best of luck and if you wish to PM me that is fine, big hugs Janie.  What a great person you are to have spotted it.  I owe so much to my sister and her GP. Kind wishes Janie.XX

Hi there. I would definetly be concerned for your daughter.The lack of motivation, no energy, no emotion with the baby are all sure signs of post partum depression. She may be just tired but it does sound like much more than that and with marital problems as well it cant help.Things can esculate so quickly so it needs to be diagnosed and treated as soon as possible. My first baby was extremly colicky and i went through a rough time and when she was older i worked voluntarily for our baby clinic and worked closely with new mums who were depressed.A lot of the signs your daughter is expressing were the same as these mums I came across. Try and see if she will see her Dr or speak to a close friend as some women dont like to admit that they are feeling this way as they feel guilty that they arent feeling over the moon and excited about the new baby.She may not want to admit this to her family.

I really hope she is ok and my thoughts are with you and your daughter. ( If baby is feeding all the time as well the exhaustion will add to the depression)

I had severe PPPD (Post Partum Phychosis Disorder). You daughter sounds as if she is suffering from PPD and should really call her OB. I hope all gets better for her b/c it's not a fun thing to go through. Sending prayers your way!!

I agree with the other posts, Lorster, if you think your daughter is acting out of character then someone in your family should step in, even if she doesn't have post partum.

I was really depressed after our first daughter was born and never told anyone. My husband worked nights and DD was born during hunting season, so he was gone the rest of the time, I took good care of the baby, but cried for months. I thought she'd be better off without me, I didn't attempt suicide, but I had it all planned out. I didn't feel the same way after the second baby. Good luck, I would have never admitted to anyone that I was so sad.Oh boy, yeah, it's time to step in and help her out!! Poor thing!!

I had it when I had my son last year, but it was mainly because he was in the NICU and we had a mean old nurse who did NOT believe in Kangaroo Care, and she wouldn't even let me TOUCH him (yet, a mom next to me got to hold her 28-weeker on her chest...while I couldn't touch or talk to my 36-weeker!!). I got TONS better when he finally came home. I have NOT been off AD's though.

I have been told by one Dr that they thing my joint pain is FROM my PPD, and that I have SEVERE PPD. Umm, okay. Well, of COURSE I am depressed you moron's, I'm in PAIN. I ADMIT I AM DEPRESSED!!!

Anyway, sorry to kind of hijack. Yes, please step in and do something for her....she will thank you later. I was still lucid enough to KNOW I needed help, and I called my OB and asked for it. (and nearly commited myself too...but DH talked me out of it!!)  
Thank you all. She called us today to tell us that she didn't feel well
emotionally and called her OB. we are relieved. she has an appointment to
discuss it and get treatment.

I'm so sorry that your poor daughter, and you,too are going through this.

When my oldest daughter had her daughter, 17 years ago, she had horrible post-partum depression. Her husband just thought she was acting weird, but not concerned about it. He just cared about how it affected him.

But my daughter called me and asked me to go to her psychiatrist with her. She had recognized it and started therapy on orders from her ob/gyn. I felt so bad for her. It just broke my heart to see her afraid to even touch her baby. She was afraid she would somehow hurt the baby by dropping her or something. I stayed with her every day for the first 3 weeks of my grand-daughter's life and just talked to her and tried to help her be more confident taking care of the baby. She also continued counselling, too.

My own mother came to visit me around this time and insisted on taking over for me for a few days, as I was completely exhausted mentally and physically.

But after the first month or two, my daughter became the best mother in the world. It took some time, patience and counselling, but they really can turn things around .

Your daughter is very lucky to have a mon who cares and is willing to help her.   Back when I had my kids, that kind of thing wasn't recognized as a real problem. We just suffered and felt guilty.

Best wishes to you all.

Hugs,

Nini

Well, I felt something was not right. My oldest daughter said to me that the
new mom daughter didn't hold the baby like most moms would. I didnt
even notice that until i looked back at it. she has so many other things
going on. This baby was conceived immediately after her husband got back
from iraq and he has some serious issues related to being there. It was
really the wrong time for them to start a family. This baby is so skinny, and
Ihave a feeling is not getting enough to eat because she nurses 24/7. I can
see why the mom is exhausted. I'm not sure she is producing enough breast
milk and I wonder if PPD can cause a decreased production. And then with
her state, it is like she just looks right through us when we try to talk to her.
I guess this is the first time I have seen it this serious. I thought it passed in
a week or so. Thanks for all your stories. It helps to know that people get
through this and things get better.

I know breast is best but sometimes for mother and baby a bottle can be the answer to a lot of problems. I am realy glad your daughter is getting the help she needs and you are one great mum in realising whats going on. Wishing you all the best The PPPD could be a contributing factor for the failure to thrive.  Depression does funky things to your body.  Also, if the baby is nursing so much...mom can't keep up.  Is the baby hungry all the time from the lack of milk or is the baby needing some extra comfort suckling?  Have you guys tried a pacifier between feedings?  You can supplement with a bottle to give mom a break and maybe ramp up milk production also.  There are so many formulas out there but I have heard that Carnation makes one real close to breast milk that is easy for the baby to break down and digest.  If the baby has runny stool (common to breast fed babies), you can try the one with iron in it.  Just watch for constipation.

My daughter had PPPD with our first grandbaby and we will be watching her closely when this one is born too. 

You know how most newborns have that cute little layer of fat. (The only
time fat is cute lol) Well this little one has chicken arms and legs,
absolutely bony. I am not sure how much a baby should gain but she was
born at 7lbs 0 oz and she has gained 3 oz in a month. I asked my
daughter if the doctor was concerned about weight and she said...oh, he
said she is fine so I asked her how much the baby weighed at the last
appt (a week ago) and she said....oh, he didn't weigh her. Hmmm, I
thought they weighed all babies at every visit. Is she not telling us
everything. Something is strange as far as I'm concerned. She just looks
like she is so sad all the time. I really hope she gets some help this week.
She was adamant against the use of pacifiers prior to the birth but I told
her that it may provide some comfort to the baby. The baby will suck for
a few minutes but then out comes the pacifier so I don't know. I'm going
to probe more on the weight issue this weekend when she is here.

Lorster, is there any way you can go stay with her for awhile and help her with the baby, establish a routine, and give her a break?  Her visit with you was probably her attempt to reach out for help.  I'm glad she is seeking professional help, but sometimes there's nothing like Mom to make you feel better.  And what a wonderful bonding opportunity it would be for all of you.

Also her comment about the doctor not weighing the baby is extremely suspicious.  My guess is she didn't go to her last appointment because of her depression and is trying to cover.

My heart goes out to her and her baby.  I hope she quickly gets the help she needs to feel better.

Oh goodness, this sounds way too familiar to me.....My baby is 14 months old, and I was on meds up until my Graves hit full on. (Prozac) But your daughter sounds so much more severe than mine was. She for sure needs some help---and the baby for sure should weigh more than that. After my 3rd baby was born, they were going to admit him to the hospital at one of our check ups because he wasn't gaining enough....I was in a deep depression, but was afraid to tell anyone. (suffered for almost 2 yrs) Luckily my best friend pushed me with my 4th baby to get help before it got to that point again. I actually went on the meds while I was pregnant.

My mom noticed it with me too...she just didn't know how to help. I remember her coming over and just folding a basket of laundry for me. Seems like such a little thing...but it meant the world to me at the time!LOL

Most people just get the "baby blues" that do only last a couple of weeks....when it lasts beyond that, it's PPD. I after my 3rd baby, I suffered with it for almost 2 yrs before I finally told my OB. I hope she starts feeling better soon!

She went to her OB this morning and she put her on Zoloft 25 mg a day. I
am her step mom. Her bio mom was with her from two week before the
baby was born and then till the baby was a week and a half old. She got
up and left early one morning because the new parents were fighting so
bad. Then the dads mom came for a few days and ended up going home
three days early for the same reasons. I think she came here for the
weekend for help also. But everytime we held the baby, she screamed
and screamed and there was nothing we could do to stop the crying
except to give her back to her mother. We never have had this with the
other three grand babies. Also, this new mom uses that breast shield so I
went on LeLeche.org and it is my understanding that these are not to be
used all the time if possible but this daughter won't nurse without it
because it hurts too much. I read that it can drastically reduce milk
supply and actually damage the nipple. Anyone have any experience or
knowlege of these shields. They sure didn't have them when I was
nursing and I figure they are nice, but should not be used exclusively. I
would go help her out but they told us they want to have some time alone
to bond with the baby. So, that was my cue that they would rather us
wait. Anyway, thanks, your input has been so valuable. I had no idea
how common this is. I just don't remember it ever being an issue back in
the old days, lol (1980)

Oh good, I'm glad she's on Zoloft...that's what I took the first time and it really helped.  I thought the shields were only used if you had inverted nipples? But I could be wrong. Hmmmm? I also ended up having to supplement my 3rd and 4th babies with formula ( Carnation) because I wasn't producing enough milk. But some moms don't want to do this--or they're extra sensitive about it. ( thinking they're not doing something right) It did make me sad I wasn't making enough ( didn't have any problems with nursing my 1st and 2nd baby) milk to provide for them, but I was willing to do whatever necessary to make them healthy. Plus, when they threatenend to admit the baby because he wasn't gaining enough....that helped me make the decision.I was looking up normal baby weight gain and a baby should gain between 1
and 2 lbs the first month. This baby has gained 3 oz. Not good. We are
going to call her tonight and have a chat with her.

Hey Lorster, I may have missed this but how far away does your stepdaughter live from you? Also have you talked with her bio Mom about this? Is she close to them? This is so scary too me, especially after hearing so many horror stories on the news about PD. You know being a nurse that the Zoloft won't even kick in for at least a couple of weeks. Thats why I'm wondering if they'll be anyone close to her till it does..... Genesis

Her mom lives in Cheyenne Wyoming. I'm going to email her tonight. I have
to be careful because I don't want Candice to get mad that her mom and I
are discussing her. She is so sensitive right now. We almost predicted this
as her moods were so off the wall during the whole pregnancy. Its hard to
understand how such a happy occasion can be such a bad experience for
her. I feel very bad for her right now. How absolutely sad for that baby. Not being bathed for a month! The germs could make that poor thing sick! And not gaining enough weight. Who's the advocate for that poor child?

And you being a nurse lorster, geez that poor baby was right in your house! You couldn't pick it up and give it a bath and a bottle?

Glad the poor girl is getting some help but sure wish that baby wouldn't have to suffer. That infant needs medical attention also.



Where is my flyswatterJust Curious Sickofdrama, why are you so hostile towards Lorster? It seems to me she is doing what she can to help this woman and her baby. Being a stepparent is not  easy and her hands are probably tied to just how much she can do. I'm also sure Lorster did not tell us every detail of everything that was said or done over the weekend  ,and if she felt the baby was in any immediate danger she would have intervened. I may or may not agree with everything Lorster says here but I do know she is very intellegent, especially concerning this disease, and her compassion for others in pain knows no bounds. .... GenesisGenesis, SOD comes on here and attacks everyone on the board. This is
just one of a few alieses that he/she uses. For your information SOD,
Candice is very stubborn and does not listen to me or anyone else for that
matter. Her and I have a great relationship now but have not always. She
is under much stress right now and is very resistant to suggestions. If we
give her advice, she goes off on us so we kind of walk on eggs around her
so I never know what she is going to do next. In 2000, she started
college, right after her high school graduation. She was invited to a party
one night at a fraternity. She was date raped. We didn't know it
happened until a year later when her bio mom called us. We tried
desperately to find out who had done it. She would never tell us and
swept it under the carpet, ran off with some weirdo to North Carolina, he
dumped her, she joined the Navy, blew out her knee and was discharged.
Then she met this guy and married him. She has never dealt with the
rape. It is the reason she is having problems but until she comes to term
with it, she is not going to do well. I also feel it may be the root of her
marital problems. These things don't go away on their own. They can
ruin peoples spirit. So there you have it. I am very worried about Candice
and the baby. She will be here again on Friday for our oldest daughters
college graduation. We can have a long talk with her then. I would not
have normally shared that much of my personal life but SOD, that is what
is happening. I hope you feel better now for that post.
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