How many here have children under 5 ? | Arthritis Information

Hi I am wonder how many here have kiddo's under 5 years old. Maybe could swap tips and helpful idea's for each other. I have a 2 year old and I have a really hard time dealing with severe ra and trying to raise a two year old.

Thanks Sandra

Nope, done with the little people! Mine are 10 and almost 14.

I'm more than willing to share hints etc.

I have a 2 year old, a going to be 9 year old, and a 28 year old (hubby)

I have a hard time keeping up with my 2 year old. Heck even healthy people in the family have a hard time keeping up with my son OK I don't have kids under the age of 5 but I have a 4 year old grandbaby and bath time is the hardest thing for me to do. Any tips on that?

I am a single mom (divorced) with a 3yr old. My ex is not around-hasn't
seen his son in over a year. I do have help from nearby family and
awesome friends but I am often overwhelmed. I would love hints or
ideas. Right now we are in the middle of potty training. Never would
have thought that this would be such a battle. He also has some GI
issues and sees a pediatric GI doc. Nothing serious--just complicates
things a bit.

OK..my other biggest issue is that he is into playing "running away".
Basically--whenever I say it is time to leave somewhere...he is off.
Obviously, I have a hard time catching him. I do the timeouts and he'll be
fine for a week or two and then....off like a rabbit again.

rocckyd39229.8208101852I don't have a bath-tub, and can't go into the shower with one and leave the other one out, and three of us in the shower just ain't gonna work!

Last time I had my grandchildren here to stay, I disinfected out the laundry tub, (my laundry is next to my bathroom) and had them climb up the kitchen steps and I just helped them into the tub (one at a time of course) so no lifting. The taps are kinda tucked away, so no prob there.

It's a tight squeeze, particularly for the three year old, but not too bad, and they can stand up so I can do their "bits" properly, and when sitting, there's nowhere for them to slip.

And no water all over the bathroom, or water fights, as there was last time I babysat at their place!! Rocckyd - try giving a little hint about 1/2 hr or so before you are actually going to leave, ( or more than one if necessary after an interval) just to get the idea into his head, and then when you are ready to leave, give him a 2 part choice.

I mean, if you are going in the car, say "We'll be going in the car soon" or something like that, - then when you are about to go, say "Would you like to walk or hop to the car". The choice can be anything really, as long as it is something you are prepared to accept from him and allow him to do. Granny step- hop- really slow big steps - little steps, tippey toes, on your heels etc etc. (Notice I don't suggest run - not really a good idea to pop that word in if it's not easy to keep up with him).

Another choice could be "would you like to hold this hand or this hand" - and show him you left or right hand.

Or a choice of something to carry to the car perhaps.

The fact that the child has an opportunity to make a choice gives him something else to focus on rather than running away. It's that simple.

Of course, it you think he's likely to run away at the leeway time, or hint, it might be a good idea to leave that bit, but the hint and choice thing is usually a pretty good positive strategy to change unwanted behaviour.

Simple Choices are great things to offer to chn before they get to the abstract thinking stage. That doesn't kick in until around 8 yrs old. Still black and white at 3 if you know what I mean. And it works!! It really does!!

You can try a star chart as well - for rewarding the good things he does - they're very effective too!

Catch them being good!! You'll be surprised how quickly that star chart fills up.

The only other thing is, I realise this might be hard for you with your physical limitations, but do try to create opportunities for him to do his running thing in a safe way, and in a safe place. Little kids really need to run around to let off steam, and to extend their developing motor skills.

I hope this is helpful for you.
Hi Trinity, my youngest is now 6 but it wasn;t that long ago, so I agree with Jeanne, I used to bath him in the laundry tub, so I didn't have to bend or stretch, and I used to get him to "help" me by fetching things like towels, facewashers, etc all placed handy for him to reach, he was trained very early to do lots of things and his brother who was 5 was an even better helper, he loved helping his new baby brother and it took a lot of strain off of me. I hope this helps a little. I used to also bake or cook things when hubby was home to help take care of the kids and I would freeze them so that I could spend all my time with the kids when necessary. That way I didn't need to worry about getting dinner prepared, all I had to do was heat it up, mind you all this didn't last too long, I became so ill that hubby had to become my carer and look after the kids too. Best of luck to all of you with little people to look after. Regards Janie. XX i have a almost three year old grandson who really does well when given
choices. That is a very good idea. It helps them feel like they have some
control over the situation.

Are there any easy to undo carseats out there? I cannot get my son undone from his carseat. Heck I cannot even buckle him into his carseat. Sometimes I even have a hard time buckling and unbuckling myself into the car!

It has been a month or so, but it is just pathetic that I have to sit there and try and try and try to push that button that says "PUSH" and it not releasing and then to have to sit there and wonder if my hubby was watching me and realized I could not unbuckle myself. Most times if I cannot unbuckle myself, my hubby will buckle me in without me asking him. I HATE having to ask my hubby to unbuckle me. So, if he does not notice I will sit there and he will ask if I am getting out of the car, I will say "When the buckle majically unbuckles me I will."

I have an almost 3 yr old.

We give our granddaughter choices too and it seems to work out rather well. I love the idea of the laundry tub bath but I can't do that since mine is down in the very cold basement lol.

I am thinking of getting a hand held shower attachment and a shower chair. Plop her in the shower chair and use the hand held attachment for rinsing her hair and body.

Kiwi that is cute...Nanny's stand up bath. LOL. The things kids say.

I do the choices option. I think that is why it is not daily--just every
couple weeks. That is excellent advice. He also knows that if we were
going anywhere else fun, that will no longer be the case. If he bolts, we
go home. He obviously doesn't like that either and will proceed to tell me
in the car that his "listening ears" are on and his "running feet" are off. I
will try to give him the few minutes warning and see if that helps.

Car seats are by far the evilest invention ever! As soon as my son hit 30
pounds(around 3 1/2 years) I went out and the the Gracco high backed
booster. This has been great. When he hits 40lbs the back comes off to
be a regular booster seat. This is sooo much easier than this old car seat.
I have been using it for about 2 months and it has been very helpful.
Honestly, I don't know any other helpful hint for a carseat. It's hard cause
you don't want them to know how to release the straps since that might
become an issue if they do it while the car is moving. But it would be
helpful if they could.

Becky

Hey Becky I did not realize that I could move Trinity to a booster seat soon. She is 28 pounds right now, so 2 more pounds to go. YEA. I have a very difficult time with the car seat. I do have a stroller that I keep in my car at all times. It is so easy to take her from the car seat right to the stroller. I can not lift Trinity in to the grocery cart. I have a lot of help from my mother and my husband. I have not started potty training yet, If anyone has any hints i would gratefully accept. I don't have Trinity on any type of schedule, It all depends on how i feel. I feel really bad about that, but it is the best i can do right now. I admire all you that are taking care of little ones. It is so hard and then throw RA into the mix it is a wonder that anything gets done

Thank you

Sandra

OK this is going to sound funny but it worked. I recently potty trained my granddaughter. No mean feat considering its been many years since I have done something like that.

First thing we did was big girl undies she got to pick out at the store. 2 packages of them. Then we got a special jar just for her that we decorated with puffy paints. We called it Kayla's Potty Treats. Then we stuffed it will all sorts of stuff. Stickers, that little plastic jewelry little girls love so much, little Dora stuff, and yes her favorite in the world...M&M's. Then we started telling her, that her pee-pee (scuse the young language here) likes to come out in the potty and go for a swim down the pipes. Then we would tell her that her pee-pee would tell her it wants to come out. So then she has to raaaaaaaaaace to the potty and get on it. The whole swim part is so that she will flush lol. We also left hand sanitizer where shee could reach it and taught her to do that at all times after going. We also bought like a travelers pack of wipes to sit on the back of the toilet because it is easier to still wipe their little butts with those for a bit. We let her run around in undies only to make it easy to get them off and on. Also a step stool by the potty helps too. When she would go in the potty...we made just the hugest deal out of it. She would give everyone in the house a sticker for their hand lol. I cant tell you how many times Grampa went to work with stickers on his hand lol.

Something I did worked well because she was day trained in less than a week. Her parents never night trained her and I left them with specific instructions on how to do that. So I ended up doing that too. Took less than 3 days. I cut off her drinking an hour to an hour and half before bedtime. I would wake her when Danny got home from work...she liked tho she got to say hi to grampa...and then before I went to bed. Worked like a charm. By the 4th night she was going on her own.

Becky - my son has been in a high back booster seat aka as carseat, for a year now. But I still cannot get the stoopid buckle to undo, even on my best days. Half the time I cannot get it to even buckle. I am guessing I have such a hard time because of my right wrist is worth a flip no matter if I am doing good or not.

Grammaskittles - For today on the potty training venture, I have put son in his Thomas the Tank Engine under-roos and he is getting to run around outside all day since we are at the in-laws. The hope in that is if he pee-pee's in his under-roos he will not like how it feels when it runs down his leg, and will remember that feeling so he will want to use the potty. We'll see how it works.

Kelsay will be 5 in July and we got her potty trained the day of her 4th bday but everything up to that point was H*LL..OMG is she stubborn..I dunno who she gets that from Trinity...check with the car seat laws in your state. VA law allows the high
backed booster at 30lbs. I am assuming that since Graco also has the
30lb requirement on the box it is the same everywhere but make sure.

Joonie, I am lucky in that the buckles in my car push from the top, not a
button in the middle(does that even make sense?). Anyway, I can't undo
the buckles in my friends car at all. So, I guess my advice would be to
win the lottery and get a new car after you test out all the buckles :) Hey,
and don't forget to throw some my way! Seriously though, I know how
hard they can be--especially when you have a little one wiggling to get
out. Jooniebuggie....yep...that is the whole point of letting them be in undies only. You will also find if he has an accident in his big guy undies...he will feel guilty about it. And I think that also helps them remember to get to the potty. i dont have any kids under 5 but i have 2 grandkids under 5. one is 22 mths going through potty training and the other is 4 mths.

My "baby" is 17 and the other two are 21 and 23, and no grandkids yet, so I'm a little out of the loop on this one!

I do remember the frustration of trying to change a diaper and all they want to do is flip over and run away. I used to say it was like roping a calf! I found the art of distraction always worked best for me. Sometimes I would put on a silly hat, or a clown nose and make funny faces, and then I would give them the hat or nose to play with while I finished what I was doing. And sometimes I would have a special toy that had been hidden away for a bit so they were excited to see it that I would pull out of a pocket and give to them to catch their attention.

For potty training I used training pants and let me feel how uncomfortable wearing wet pants really was. And I would reward them for going in the potty with M&M's

For potty training I used training pants and let me feel how uncomfortable wearing wet pants really was. [/QUOTE]

Uhhh...ummm...ok. And your husband did such a great job training you too!!! He said you haven't had an accident in a long time!!!

I couldn't resist. I just couldn't resist. LOL!! I loves yas!!!

OMG my secret is out! Now where did I put my Depends?

I kinda got my mix all talked up there. Can't you just picture a very large lady walking around in wet training pants?

LMAO @ Grammaskittles and HillHoney

Well, the letting him wearing his big boy under-roos did not work out as well as I hoped.

Oh well...

Thomas and Lightning McQueen spend alot of time being damp at our
house.

*Double Sigh*

Another question...do you guys ever worry about where you put your
meds? I have mine in a upper cabinet in my bathroom. He has no
business being in there but of course that will make it all the more
interesting as he gets older. I just always have a fear that he will get into
something. [QUOTE=joonie]

[/QUOTE]

Hey Joonie...my little one will be 3 yrs old on June 16th. Last week we did a 3 day potty-training program I got off the internet for . We thought, sure it will work! You can get locking medicine cabinets to prevent any exploring little bodies getting into meds. Also maybe get some Mr. Yuk stickers to put on the cabinet.

I have my meds in a balck shaving kit like bag that locks. I don't have little ones all the time and could easily put the bag out of my grandbabys reach while she is here, but I have narcotics and teenagers in and out of the house all the time. So that stuff is still locked up and put up.

Since I teach middleschoolers I have to be careful at work too. I take
Lortab once in a blue moon--it makes me too hyper. Anyway, I don't like
having it in my school bag. Too many "experimenting" hands in my
science class. I gave it to the school nurse to lock up. Kinda funny when
I go to the nurses office-at least I don't need a pass from a teacher!

Well, I have had a problem with my son getting my Humira out of the fridge. He just opens the boxes and pulls the backing off the humira packages and does it to every one of them and leaves them laying on the floor. He is always in and out of the fridge so kinda hard to tell who is in the fridge when it gets opened. Like when daughter is home she is always in and out of the fridge. Anyways... he done that one time while we were down at the trailer, and since we have been up at the house he has done it one time, but he is copying what hubby does, son watches him give me my shot. So, so got one out one day and was letting it warm up, he put it on the counter. I found it because I went to see what he was doing, because he was the only one home other than me.

But now, I have my Humira over at the in-laws house to keep son from messing with it. As for my other meds, I have them hidden behind a vase on my mantle in my bedroom, before that I use to put them in a basket on my dresser, the dresser son could not reach, we now have a dresser so can reach everything on. And I will also stash my multi vit-a-mins in my under-roo drawer. Everyone else meds are on top of the fridge or in a cabinet. Mine would be up there too, but I cannot reach either area, so they have to be where I can reach them.

I don't have children of my own but I've always wanted to be a Mom. Doesn't look like that's going to happen at this point in my life as I'm almost 39 and don't have my RA under control. Just out of curiosity though...What do the doctors say about having children when you have RA? Do they try to steer you away from it, should we steer ourselves away from having children? What drugs are you able to take if any when you are pregnant with RA? I've read many times that women even go into remission during pregnancy and then it usually comes back with a vengence after giving birth. I don't know if that's truth or myth. I know this post has nothing to do with helping take care of your children when you have RA but it sounded like a good place to post. Who knows better than those that are already a Mommy. As much as I desire to have a child and be a mother...I don't think I would forgive myself if I had a child and passed this horrible disease on to them. Then again....I have it and no one else in my entire family that I know of has it. Everyone I know tells me I shouldn't even think about having a child. I hate hearing that but I do have to wonder if they are right. When I was married, my husband had a child from a previous marriage. I took care of her for 6 years from the time she was 2. I loved the experience...I loved being a Mom and I was good at it! Unfortunately, when my marriage fell apart due to his infidelity, I had no legal rights to the little girl I love more than life itself and my ex-husband has kept her completely away from me (punishment for me leaving himI suppose). Although I know in my heart that one day she will find me again and I will love her and welcome her as I always have....I miss being a Mom.

There were some good tips here from some of the members. I hope they help you in some way. Wishing you good days....

Peace & Love.....Neasy

Neasy39233.342037037

I don't have the experience of a doctor telling me whether or not I should have a child with having ra. I did it anyways. But back then, there were not the drugs like there are now nor the understanding about ra like there is now. What can happen, is that women can go into a pregnancy induced remission while pregnant that can last for a bit after the baby is born.

What I can tell you from experience is what it is like to have a child that you pass ra down to. My baby has it. She is 12. When she was first diagnosed I had incredible guilt and anger at myself. I didn't want to forgive myself for "giving" her this awful disease. However, I did forgive myself because as it was pointed out to me...it isn't my fault. I have wonderful friends that carried me thru this and guided me thru this. I have a wonderful husband and we supported each other thru the first days of her diagnosis. A roll of the dice of the genes. My daughter has never once blamed me for her having it either. She says we are ra buddies and that this is something that we share together. It isn't my fault. It isn't anyone's fault. That doesn't I am not sad and cry my eyes out and get angry pissed off at the world. What I keep in mind is the medications they have NOW and what is coming out in the FUTURE. She has a much better chance of never ever ending up like me or some of the other people here on the board.

I have been asked that knowing what I know now...that she would get the ra, would I still have had her? Yes I would. I can't imagine life without that little redheaded freckeled precocious intelligent outgoing person that one day will make her mark in this world. Life is not fair. But to not have one of my children in it because of this damn disease? No way...I won't let the ra win. And if you ask her, she would rather be around too. As she says...she can't imagine have any other momma and daddy besides hers. And if she had to get the ra...she is glad that I know so much about it and that I am there for her fighting for her and with her every single day of our lives.