I appreciate all the wonderful advice, instruction, understanding, and kindness that 95% of you have shown me. But there are a few here who are really just hateful people and decide to attack you at any given opportunity. Blessed --I think you are taking all of this much too personally. What you're seeing as personal attacks I see as opposing viewpoints. I really don't think anyone is trying to put you down. However, you have made me think about my own remarks, and I feel that I should apologize for my "taking your toys and going home" remark on the other thread. I meant it as kind of a joke in response to your last post but reading it back it sounds just plain mean-spirited. That's not called for in a rational discussion. Humor, yes, but not being tacky. I still think this kind of dialogue is healthy--gets our mind off the RA for awhile. I enjoy reading what everyone all over the country and outside the country is thinking about the war, health care and other topics that may not have to do directly with our RA issues. The other topics on the forum offer a world of information, advice and support but sometimes its nice to exercise your mind about something different. I always enjoyed arguing politics and have some quite passionate arguments with my very conservative Republican friends --and we're still friends (at least I think we are!) I hope you will decide to remain-- your viewpoint, although I may not agree with it, is just as valuable as anyone elses. Sula, Why can't the folks who want to discuss politics do it on a political board? It just seems to me that discussing politics on a health support board is anathema. There are many, many, places to discuss politics. But to cause hard feelings on a board where stress can make us sick simply does not make sense to me. All of us are dealing with illness and meds, to come to a support board and be bombarded, just leads to more stress. BTW, It was awfully nice of you to apologize for being "tacky". I love that term.
I don't understand people getting hard feelings over the posts on the political thread. Maybe I've missed something along the way, but mostly it seems to be people arguing their point of view. If it causes stress I would recommend that those folks just avoid that thread. I know there are some threads that don't interest me much so I just don't read them. I agree that to drag politics into every thread would be wrong. {Although the subject of health care can get kind of political which is understandable.} Hey, "tacky" is a perfectly good word, isn't it? Or this something we just say in Texas? Please don't go Lisa,you have so many friends here and they all care about you.Even the ones who disagree with you are your friends and will be there for you in troubled times or bad day. I've seen it happen too many times and I'm sure you have too. Think about it when you're not so hurt and angry and you'll see I'm right Lisa, People can be very passionate when it comes to politics or religion and what starts out as a debate often turns into a "heated" discussion. Considering the thread contained both subjects, it was obvious to me where that one was heading. I sympathize with you and agree that you were being attacked, but don't leave the board because of them. I have really enjoyed reading your posts. The way I look at is this board is a place to share. We share feelings, we share concerns, we share information, and why can't we share opinions? People are here because they are reaching out to others. We want to talk, and it's good to have a place to do that. Many folks here are because they can't get out of the house, or because they are up late at night unable to sleep. They are looking for their local pub where they can visit with people they know, see how everyone is doing and TALK. I want to hear everyone's point of view, and dag nabbit, I want them to hear mine, LOL!
Having said that, I do think as a group, we need to be "self-monitoring". Don't turn discussions personal, and don't get angry with someone simply because they don't agree with what you have said. Listen to their point of view, take from it what you can, make counterpoints if you like, but don't take things personally, and don't get nasty. And as a group, if we see someone stepping over the bounds, we need to call them on it, remind them to not make it nasty or mean. But, here's the important part: Don't be nasty when you're telling someone else not to be nasty. That just explodes into something entirely different, and then it's all out war. How ridiculous is that? Call we all agree to not lower our discussions to name-calling and mean spirited behavior? If you are writing a post to disagree with someone's point of view and you must turn the discussion personal and nasty, then you clearly are not well versed on the particular subject, and unable to compete in a debate. Instead, do some research, look for facts that support your point of view, and use those to further the discussion. Not making some dramatic exit or anything, but just have to say... I'm so over this board.
There are too many forums that support people with arthritis to stay here and get bashed. I started the "I Hate The Bush's" thread so that the thread we were on would not be taken over by a political theme.
When I made the suggestions for people to create another thread, I was told "You can't control the boards, blah, blah, blah." Believe me , I was only trying to make it easier for newbies to get the info they were looking for. And not to get blind sided by a topic I was going to be offened by.
Well...I don't know about y'all, but I have enough on my plate then to have to worry about who I am going to make mad here at AI and putting up with personal attacks from other members.
Now I must make the decision on whether to allow a few bad apples to spoil it for me and others. We "Rheumatoidians" do not need any extra stress to make our condition worse and it's a shame that others do not consider that. Think I'll sleep on it, and see how I feel in the morning?
Politics are always divisive but that isnt a bad thing.
The older I get I find I get more cynical about all politicians - I have always been a liberal and probably always will be but I think most politicians end up with a 'them and us'philosophy and whatever side they are on seem to forget about their good intentions that they had when they entered politics. I have had a little contact with politicians and my brother who has completely opposing views to mine has a lot of contact with them - we argue politics - but when it comes to the crunch I think the majority of them from all parties lose any ethics they may have had initially and while the general public take it quite personally to them it is often just a power game.
I think political debate is a sign of a healthy democracy and I hope we can all be tolerant of each others views and hopefully when we vote our politicians in we will not be taken in by them - I know, because of my change in cirumstances I will be very careful about who I vote for next time. I hope you dont take opposing views personally because in the end they are just 'politicians' - not worth stressing out over. I maybe
need to follow my own advice here I thinkDon't leave. As said before, we all have the option to not read the negative or OT threads. I sort of see them as a nice distraction from the inevitable fact: I have Rheumatoid Arthritis. We all have that in common. Stay, please
I feel there really is no need for anyone to personally attack anyone. We are adults here and should have by now learned how to handle any differing of opinions in a mature way. Besides, like I said before, I feel that anyone personally attacking anyone loses respect for themselves and respect from others. We work so hard as adults to gain the respect of others and be viewed as a valuable member of society, why blow that over a difference of opinion on any subject? Why do that yourself?
I personally love the different points of view here and the adult debate that can go over different subjects. i have learned a lot about many different things.
So, with that being said, let's all just make peace with everyone. Bring yourself that inner peace by making peace.
I agree with the not attacking personally part sooo much. Frankly, that is why I stepped into the Fray. I really hate it when someone is being ganged up on and that is what I though was happening to Blessed.
It happened to me a few months ago Grammy, on the first political thread that was started here. Maybe that is why I think maybe another forum would be better, but I can also understand what you all are saying, cause I like to read them too.
I really do think the name calling and rhetoric need to be toned down when addressing a specific person.
I've stayed away from the debating threads until just recently. A topic that I feel strongly about was being discussed so I thought I would share some life experience about the topic. It has turned out to be a really interesting thread and very insightful.
I have a choice, I can stay and play, or I can stop if it gets ugly. The magic to keeping it going is choosing the right words so people don't get angry. It's hard to discuss religion and politics on an online forum. As I stated before all we have are words, no facial expressions, no change in our voices - just words and those words need to be chosen carefully. A good debate isn't what we see on the TV shows with the debators and the hosts screaming at one another. They're literally crap.
Don't leave the board because you've been ganged up on, just don't participate next time. Everyone has something to add to this board regarding there chronic disease and I don't care if you're a Christian, Pagan, Buddhist, or Islamic, if you have a RA or any of it's many cousins then I want to share our life stories.
Stay and continue sharing your story. Lindy
[QUOTE=Blessed] I appreciate all the wonderful advice, instruction, understanding, and kindness that 95% of you have shown me. But there are a few here who are really just hateful people and decide to attack you at any given opportunity. mili i am sorry cause i m still learning how to post a quote heheh kisses from argentina I just want it noted that for ONCE, I was NOT involved in any of this
Phats I just want it noted that for ONCE, I was NOT involved in any of this
Phats Phats I've been on this board for two years now and have been involved in some heated debates....but always come back. I've just learned you "can click or not click" on a subject. A debate is just that a debate. Everyone has their opinion and that is life......but as far as personal attacks one fuels the other and you can choose to respond or not. I don't understand alot of the anger here.....venting is fine, but until we walk in each others shoes I don't think anyone should pass judgement on others ideas, thoughts, home remedies or information that is passes on thru this board. Just my thoughts, LUV KAT
There are too many forums that support people with arthritis to stay here and get bashed. I started the "I Hate The Bush's" thread so that the thread we were on would not be taken over by a political theme.
When I made the suggestions for people to create another thread, I was told "You can't control the boards, blah, blah, blah." Believe me , I was only trying to make it easier for newbies to get the info they were looking for. And not to get blind sided by a topic I was going to be offened by.
Well...I don't know about y'all, but I have enough on my plate then to have to worry about who I am going to make mad here at AI and putting up with personal attacks from other members.
Now I must make the decision on whether to allow a few bad apples to spoil it for me and others. We "Rheumatoidians" do not need any extra stress to make our condition worse and it's a shame that others do not consider that. Think I'll sleep on it, and see how I feel in the morning?
Now that really made me laugh. You're too funny Phats!
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