I am getting so excited about Brett's visit. I know we have had an on and off relationship but I really believe my RA has been a huge factor. He was doing so good staying clean and sober until I got so sick. He is one of those people that wants to fix everything. I see the panic in his eyes when I am in pain. Also, the pressure of having Kelsey home has not been easy on him. It was a lot to ask of him and I know it. She is behaving so much better, I hope someday we can all live together. I have been accused of always putting Kelsey before my relationships. Many people have the philosophy that you should put your partner first. I just have never been able to do that. I cannot watch my daughter suffer. She is so much happier at home even though she takes a lot of care. She should have an aide but the mental health system is underfunded.
Brett and I are going to start counseling. I think that will help a lot. He is the love of my life. I have never known a man with a bigger heart. That is when he is sober. When he is not, he drives everyone away. He has not had a drink in six months and he says he is off the pills. We have had a lot of good talks and we are going to take things slow. Thank God his best friend lives up here so we don't have to dive back in. I think it is really going to make a difference - now that I have Angie. It would be huge if his house would sell - we would no longer have financial pressure. His unemployment runs out soon and he wants to start a handyman business. I think he could do well. Everyone likes him, he is very charming and it is sincere. He is also very "handy" and is a hard worker.
Since having RA I have known that I would never try to be in another relationship again. I used to be attractive, very independent, and intelligent. RA has taken that from me. I do not feel like it would be fair to ask anyone to take Kelsey and I on. Brett loves me so much, he is willing and since I knew him before, I love being with him. He remembers the old me. I am proud of my life adventures and accomplishments.
So he is going to be here either Sunday or Monday. His son is also coming for a visit. I am so excited. It is going to be tough to keep the house clean this weekend. He has not met my puppy and I am so proud of how pretty the yard looks. All of my energy, which is not much, is spent in that yard. Thank God I still have that. I thank God everyday that I still can appreciate nature and the outdoors, even if I cannot go hiking.
Brett bought a van with a bed in it. He said maybe we can go to the coast
I had to share this excitement even though there are those that do not like to hear about my personal life. If you don't and you read this - it is your own fault. I was careful to be very specific about topic on thread line.
Roxy, I have missed a lot being away for so long. I apologize for being a member of this board that visits sporadically. There are times in my life where I am able to get online frequently, and other times where it is near impossible. Back to you and Brett. I think last I left off you guys were getting married? I remember Kelsey was away somewhere. How old is Kelsey again? What is her diagnosis? Do you have someone to help you with her? I am glad to know that things are going better for you and Brett now. You sound very much in love with him. I think counseling is a great idea. My BIL and SIL were on the brink of divorce and recently went through counseling and are now back together and going strong. They did go through a few therapists until they found one that they really felt was helpful. I think a van with a bed in it sounds very sexy :) I hope you are feeling better. Love and hugs, JI don't think it's wrong to put your daughter first. You have an obligation to your daughter to put her first in your life. A second marriage especially will always need to play second fiddle to your obligations to your child. Hopefully your husband understands that and respects that.
As much as I adore my husband he knows my children are always my top priority. I don't think he'd love me like he does if it was any other way.
A van with a bed in it?
Juliah, Brett and I DID get married. I took Kelsey out of the facility a year ago. It has been challenging. Her diagnosis is schizoaffective - bipolar and schizophrenic. Brett started drinking and taking pain pills to cope. We split up 3 months ago. We are trying to get back together again. It is all good. We are going to get involved in the neighborhood church, do counseling and I have an aide to help. A lot has happened since we last talked. I sure have missed you. I asked about you several times.
Lovie - It is one of those vans that the back seats come out. He is putting a mattress in the back. He bought it for hauling when he goes to work. Kelsey IS my top priority but Brett has really been neglected with all of our problems. I am hoping I can do a better job as a wife. He deserves that. He has done so much for us. I think counseling WILL make a big difference and church is important to Brett. I don't really like organized religion but for Brett, I will be happy to get involved in a church. His higher power is important to keep him sober.
I am so excited about the possibility of waking up to the ocean. I have not been away from Kelsey for over a year. It is a lot to ask but I really hope my family will take her a couple days. Kelsey would love it. She loves her relationship with our family. They just worry they will not know what to do if she is not stable.
Time to watch "Hannibal Rising" I am so excited about seeing that movie.
PS More good news. Colton is coming for two weeks on Tuesday.
love and hugs, J
You sound so excited!! I am glad to hear Brett is doing well but please remember, its not your fault that he began drinking and taking pills. I really hope you guys can work it out, just take it slow!! A trip to the coast sounds lovely!
I wish you, Brett and Kelsey all the best Roxy. You've all been through so much and been down such a tough road. Sounds like you're going to have a full house.
Ohhh, Hannibal Rising....very good movie...very good.
Peace & Love...Neasy
Neasy, Hannibal is on his way to Canada. wow what a great movie!!!! Been savoring it in pieces. I love all the Hannibal movies. Care for some sauteed cheeks with mushrooms? Roxy, I think a trip with just you and Brett may be just what you two need. I hope your family will help with your daughter. You sure have your hands full with everything going on. A nice relaxing trip to the beach sounds wonderful! Can I go too? LOLJeanne - I bought a good safe that I keep my meds in when Brett is here. I had bought a cheesy safe and he crushed it once
PS I am going to miss my glass of wine at night. I have been doing that the last couple weeks and it is so relaxing. No alcohol when he is around.