How do they see it? | Arthritis Information

I know there have been discussion here before about how partners/family deal with your RA. So I figured I'd start a topic about it.

My mum and nan have taken it pretty hard. I know mum will support me and do the best she can for me even if it means the most expensive meds possible but sometimes I feel that I can't tell her how I'm feeling because she'll cry and get upset that I'm in such pain. She has often said that if she could she would have it for me. Thank god for this forum. I always feel so relieved if I have a good old whinge and moan.

My dad and brother of 18 years are pretty laid back. They are concerned but not to the extent that my mum is. I think its because I have been pretty lucky so far and have had minimal painful days.

I wish that my grandad were still here. He passed away in 2002 following a knee operation. His haemoglobin levels went really low and he fell ill. The hospital could have done so much more but didn't and now I don't have him in my life. I know that I could have spoken to him when I'm feeling low and he would have been like a rock to me. He always said the right things. I love him dearly.

My boyfriend of 1 and 1/2 years is 22 in September. Initially he took it all in a laid back fashion but now he is fantastic. He even does all of the washing up because of my fingers. Of a morning when I can't get out of bed (one of them horrible, bad days) he lifts me out and stays by me until the pain eases off. If I cry because it all gets to much he hugs me and gives me the support and positive talk that I need. Thankfully I haven't felt like that for quite some time now. However, I don't think he completly releases just how painful and serious the disease is.

Anyway, just an idea, but how do your partners/husbands/wifes/families cope and help out?

YOUR BLESSED GIRL....THANK YOUR LUCKY STARS!!! YOU HAVE A MAN WHO DEARLY CARES FOR YOU AND YOU HAVE YOUR MOM AND DAD. I WOULD GIVE ANYTHING TO HAVE MY MOM AND DAD BACK. BOTH ARE DECEASED AND ALL GRANDPARENTS GONE AS WELL. I have been separated from my husband for over 3 years and he is not involved in my life. All I have with me is my 9 yr old son and a daughter in college. If you have support, thank them and show your appreciation regularly. Many of us have No support system.
Jenna, Your boyfriend sounds like an angel .
What a blessing to have him around. i live by myself
(well except for my two sweatheart cats. They
seem to sense when Iam not feeling well and
always come and lay down beside me.

My dad and two sisters are the only ones left in my
family and they all live in different states. But even so
we are a close family and they check in with me all
the time. I had a few aunts who were very disabled
because of RA and eventually died because of RA
complications, so my family has a little bit of an idea
about the disease.

The thing that's hard for me though is when I
mention it in a conversation with co-workers or
friends and they just kind of look at me like 'oh
everyone has some type of arthritis'.

This forum has been an immense support for me.
Don't know what I'd do without you guys!!

I have my mom and her family (dad is NOT in my life), but I live an hour + away from them, so its phone and email. Not really super supportive, but I can talk to my mom. She had Graves Disease when I was little, so im sure she can relate a little bit. She is basically sured of it tho cause she took radioactive iodine.... not sure about much more... I have a few friends around, they all have health problems such as diabetes and asthma, but nothing that is this painful on a daily basis. I can talk to them all, but feel like i am whining or complaining.

I guess that this situation has made me a stronger person. i have to mow the grass, paint the walls, clean the garage, etc around my house unless i pay someone else to do it. I may not like it but i do whatever needs to be done around here by myself. Seems stupid but i get proud and brag when i get my dishes done. Most people think i jsut dont like doing dishes (i HATE doing them) but it also hurts my back and fingers after a short while.

Thanks to this forum i have a place to complain when i need to vent. My mom listens but doesnt really know what to say or do to help. Sister thinks im faking (or so it seems) and my aunt who is WAY overweight, sorta is jealous that i got DR involved and she is in much pain with OA and MAJOR bone on bone in the knees. Ok enough sob story of being on my own. not wanting pity...just to get better and keep going as i have been. i DO need to mow the grass tomorrow if the heat isnt too bad!

Later!