OT - Sorry to bring this up | Arthritis Information

The posts that Roxy leaves on this board are only half the story. It is very rude of you to assume that you know the entire situation. While she is very sweet to pour her heart out to us, you have to understand that doesn't mean she tells this board EVERYTHING. If for YOU leaving your husband was the best thing, that's great. But for you to TELL SOMEONE ELSE to do it, is very very VERY presumptuous and mean. Not all alcoholics are going to behave the same. Not all people with RA are going to behave the same.

You speak of "drunks having feelings" and while I do not disagree with you, ROXY HAS FEELINGS TOO. This disease has devistated her and is a HUGE adjustment for her, and drunk or not, that is something Brett has GOT to help her with, or there is simply no relationship. For you to say that SHE needs to stop being self centered is disgusting. After all that she has done FOR him, to help him, and he REJECTED IT. She is bearing her soul to him, and you say that she is SELF CENTERED? How dare you.

And I will be the FIRST person to tell you that Roxy and I have had our moments, and honestly we don't always get along. She drives me crazy sometimes and I think she makes some...odd...decisions but NEVER, NEVER have I thought that she was self centered or ANY of the things that you have accused her of.  Roxy is still a beautiful person who is stuggling VERY hard with far too many issues at one time. If anything at times I have said that she was too forgiving, and too nice.

You did not stand up and say "I don't support what you're doing" You my friend stood up and said "You are a terrible person" and then you quickly stabed that knife into Roxy's back and walked away.

Shame, shame on you.

Roxy,

I agree with Cheese and Hillhoney - get yourself some good advice - fast!  Realise money to pay for the advice might be hard to come by - any hope of tapping into help from a social service organisation or gov t. social service dept?   Lifeline in Australia has a section that gives help on managing finances.

Crispy,  You need to know me to tear into me like that.  I have been VERY supportive of Brett.  I go to his AA meetings, ask that there be no alcohol at family gatherings, do not drink in front of him, and he turns his son against him.  Colton told his Dad, he will not live with him if I stay with him and he is drinking.  Yes, I did lose it when I was flaring and he called but do you know this is the third rehab I have gone through Brett.  I have hardly spoken a harsh word with Brett.  I have dealt with drunks in my career and I know there is no point to engage.  I love Brett with all my heart and he knows it.  He tells me he knows it.  He also tells me I am good to him.   Everyone I know says Brett will go on a drunk and kill himself if I leave him.  Yes, I worry about money.  I am disabled, I have a disabled daughter and a sixteen year old son.  You just have no idea of the whole picture.  If Brett got sober and treated me with half the respect I give him, I would happily spend the rest of my life with him.

PS  I don't Lash out at people when I flare, I come here and pour my heart out.

I apologize for getting so worked up so fast...though I still stand by my beliefs in the situation. It frustrates me that this board is not moderated because I feel that this is something that was innapropriate for a post. If something like this were to occur on RA Sushi, it will be handled differently.

Roxy, you are such a strong woman.

Forums are for opinions and crispy expressed hers. What do you expect to get in return when you spill your guts on an open forum? Some things just should not be said in public. How is everyone supposed to know the whole story? From the outside it does look like the whole story because everything is on here, every little detail.

If it was a moderated forum would you have deleted crispy's post? If so that is one sided, controlling and sad.