I have so much pain in my joints these days that i'm finding it hard to drive now. I can manage short trips to the shops etc but longer ones are agonising. My fiance doesnt drive so its basically me having to run around, taking him into town for banking and doing the shopping with me. I also have to do a long journey every other weekend as my daughter goes to her daddy's for the weekend. That's a 200 mile round trip over the weekend.
He started taking lessons last year but gave up as he fell out with the instructor. He's always going on about ' if he could drive he'd go here there and everywhere etc' but when i ask him to start taking lessons again, he just changes the subject. I've asked him time and time again to learn so he can take the pressure off me a bit more but i feel like i'm banging my head against a brick wall. He seems quite happy allowing everyone else to take him. I love him to bits but he's so selfish! He's brilliant in other respects, helps around the house, doesnt mind if i need a lie down in the afternoons etc.. its just this driving arguement thats getting me down. I'm not sure if he thinks he's too old to learn now, he's 56 but people older than him learn! I even mentioned about changing my car for one with an automatic gearbox so i dont have to use my left leg to change gear... he just said that its too expensive if the gearbox breaks!
How can i make him see i'm suffering here!!!
You can't until you stop allowing him to use you as a private taxi service. Why should he drive when you will do it for him.
He may be afraid to learn after so many years but right now there is no incentive to break through the fear.
And its your car not his...get the kind you need
I agree with buckeye. And, if you can afford it, buy yourself a car that fits your needs and even ask him to help pay for it. There is going to an unhappy person here, just make sure it is not you.OK...has he heard of public transportation??? Hand him bus money and a bus schedule and say have fun!!!
I unfortuately have to change from a manual shift to an automatic shift. I DON'T WANNA!!!! But I have to lol. Get yourself a car that you can drive.
I agree with now&then...get on these guys!!!! Your daughter's father can help with transportation. And the cost.
hi there
to be fair on my ex ( which isnt very often
My fiance is wonderful in the rest of things, its just the driving issue. He has taken the bus before he met me and also when i had my hysterectomy as i couldnt drive but it seemed as soon as i was fit again, it went back to normal. I mentioned again tonite about looking out for an automatic.. he didnt say anything.. to be honest, he wouldnt dare at the moment as i'm feeling rather fragile as it is and i'm afraid i would blow my top at him!
I'm not gonna let it drop, i cant carry on like this.
Quit mentioning it to him and just do it! Whoops, I forgot...welcome to the forum. I got so caught up in your story that I forgot to welcome you. I'd also quit driving 1/2 way. If your ex wants to see his daughter then he should drive and pick her up at your home. You shouldn't have to drive for 2 hours when your flaring as bad as you are now. Once you have your physical condition under control then you can start sharing the trip each week.
It's ok to say no, and to take charge of getting well. Another vehicle with an automatic will make life easier for you and so will having your ex come to your house to pick up his daughter.
You didn't say what was wrong with you physically or what meds your on. I realize that sometimes it's easier to just give in and do it yourself. You don't want to argue but in the long run it isn't easier and it can cause more health problems.
Don't let it drop, go ahead and do what YOU have to do make it easier for yourself. Take care. Lindy
Glitter- I have automatic and I'd never use manual again. It is so easy on the legs and hands.The change will be great for you.Peace & Love...Neasy