Sorry, guys, I have another question. I appreciate your patience while I continue to learn and sort through this new "adventure" in my life.
I think I'm still in denial about what I can no longer do. Two days ago my husband and I moved the sofa and I moved some other smaller pieces of furniture a couple of times to vacuum underneath and try new arrangements. I wasn't surprised when my back hurt the next day (I knew better but with the drugs I'm taking I thought I might escape the pain) but now I also have swollen fingers and general joint pain. Could my actions have caused that too? I didn't push myself to fatigue, just pushed and pulled some chairs and tables. Can even a little exertion cause general problems? Why, if we're taking all these drugs, do we still get flares? Will they ever stop if the right med mix is found or do some of you deal with them all of your life? How did you finally give up your former picture of yourself and adjust to the new you?
Thanks again. Eventually I'll have a good handle on this, with your help.
I can't answer your questions, but I can offer condolences - I'm suffering a bit of a flare lately that I'm pretty sure I brought on myself. My children were at my sister's house for a couple of weeks, so I partied like I was 21 for a week or so. I don't know if its necessarily a flare, but it sounds like you over-did it for sure! Even with controlled RA, you're still at a bit of a limit. That'll be different for every one too, so it may take some time for you to figure out what your limit is. Just pace yourself, and eventually you'll find it. I have a feeling if you rest up, in a couple of days you'll feel much better. A flare would be something that would last for quite a while, and require a doctor visit........I don't think you set yourself into a flare, I just think you did too much moving around! :(Katie,
Oh, so this may not be a flare. I guess I don't know what the true definition of that is. I thought any pain, swelling, etc. that wasn't there the day before would qualify. Learned something new.
I think a flare is more something that's lasting and needs help being controlled. What a lot of people don't realize with RA, is that your body has CHANGED, it's changed your sense of normal, and your ability to bounce back to strenuous activities. Jasmine, YOU my dear, may very well have set yourself into a flare, but not for the reasons you think. The alcohol, may have actually set you off. We had a thread about that not too long ago, and it seemed that you were either able to handle it, or you weren't, and it made you flare. Someone even posted a scientific reason as to why, but it escapes me now.I completely agree with Katie. I really think you just over-did with the furniture moving. I can't even stand up to make dinner. I can't even imagine being able to move furniture. It has been far too long since that kind of activity was even possible.
The grieveing part comes, when you find that things you have done all your life, are just not ever going to be possible again. For me, it has meant giving up crocheting, gardening, painting, fine hand needlework, etc. I have tons of materials needed to do these things...I just can't do them.
But, as Katie said, it is a very individual thing. Every one of us has different limits. Some still work, which is no longer possible for others. Some have the use of their hands and others, very little. It is just different for everyone. You will find your own pace.
We are always here, to try to help you understand your new "adventure" (That's a very positive way to look at it). We all have days when we just want to curl up in a warm chair (or bed) and not even move. But other days you can feel much better.
I think moving furniture qualifies as over-doing things.
Feel better,
Nini
RA's been holding me hostage for about 10 years and even though I finally have a combination of meds that are working I can't do many of the things I could pre RA.
I probably could move furniture and clean and next day would be fine. The next time I tried it I'd flare and not be able to do anything for a week or more. Since I don't know how my body is going to react, I don't do it. I do what I know I can do without causing a flare. I still design and make jewelry, travel writing, do some housework, laundry, travel, walking (especially with new knee) and other daily living activities, but some of these I've had to modify. It was trial and error.
It's hard to learn to pace yourself. Ten years later I'm still not good at pacing. I want to get it done or I want to go, go, go.
I'm past the grieving stage and into the acceptance stage - granted it's a grudging acceptance but I'm there. It's a long journey and don't expect instant acceptance.
I have a chronic illness and I do what I can do and learn new things to do. I'm constantly taking classes or going to school. It's sort of a substitute for not being able to do so many other physical things. Learning has been great for me. Even with the fatigue and the brain fog learning has kept me sharper and more focused.
I'm retired and don't have any children at home so it's an easier process for me. There are still days when I get frustrated, impatient and pitiful, but it doesn't last long because I realize that I have many other things in my life that are wonderful.
Like Nini said, "You'll find your own pace." Lindy
Thank you all, you've cleared up some things for me. Grieving is a good word to use for what I feel on occasion, when I let my denial slip. I've also learned there is no "norm" that I can count on as a guide. What worries me a lot is, to look at me, you'd never know anything is wrong. Only my husband has seen me struggle to climb the stairs or get out of the car. Unless you look unwell, don't you worry that people will think you're just using your illness as an excuse to be lazy? Those who knew me before knew I was a "go-getter" but I wonder if new friends think I've just become lazy in my retirement years.
Oh yeah, about that "husband adjustment" part, he saw me SLOWLY climbing the stairs this morning and later in the day expressed some concern about "doing the deed" and how maybe that might make my problem worse. I assured him that wasn't the case at this point but I know it's on his mind. That's not good. I don't want this to become his problem as well. Oh well.
I've rested a lot the last two days and now I feel pretty good. The rest, and your advice and information has made this a good day overall. Once again, thank you for your help.
Yes, people will look at you and think you're lazy. Yes people will think you're using your illness as an excuse.
Screw 'em. It won't be everyone, and chances are those that behave that way have more issues with themselves than they do with you!
Jesse, the fact that your husband is showing concern for your well-being is a good thing. Because, when someone loves you and cares about you, your problems really ARE their problems, too.
At least that is how it is with my husband and I. I don't know how I could handle the pain I have every day, without his understanding and tender care. He is always on the look-out for anything that might make me more comfortable or make my life a bit easier. He also goes to all my doctor appointments with me. It helps to have someone with you, to help you remember everything. He has as good a relationship with my docs as I do.
I do have other problems in addition to RA, so I don't want you to think you will necessarily have pain every day. Not everyone does. But some of us do.
As far as the "deed" goes, you may have to make some "adjustments", or get a little creative, so it doesn't cause you pain, but it's still possible. There's nothing wrong with getting creative once in a while, anyway.
I'm so glad you have had a good day today!
Hi, I think you can trigger pain if you do things with your hands, legs, knees, back that you aren't used to doing like.... MOVING FURNITURE? So, it goes with this stuff. Yesterday, I walked the beach, today my left foot was burning and hurting (it has been doing so well ) . We never know. Lynda