hI, i think it would help if the squabbling members used the PM to one another it would stop clogging up the new post area, and the latest posts. LyndaI agree - the PM feature works quite well. I think it's great that we are all friends but the chatty posts tend to make the RA-related ones sink to subsequent pages.
So, let me get this straight....
you want this board to be strictly RA, nothing fun, uplifting. You just want medical related information and everything else should be PM'd?
I'm sorry, but that isn't the way this board works. I hope it never goes to that. We are HUMANS with RA. For most of us, it doesn't define who we are. We all have significant issues surrounding our RA, but it isn't who we are.
The chit-chat is what keeps some of us going thru the days/weeks.
Phats
Yes I would have to agree with Phats. The OT stuff is what keeps us going some days. Im sorry if you dont like it but you dont have to read it eitherI have to agree with Phats. I would like it if the bickering and nastiness were only done by PM, because it is usually just a disagreement between a couple of people. BUT so much would be lost of our community feeling if we couldn't just let things flow, and hear comments from people literally around the world! There are many threads that I just read and do not post to, but I am glad I read them, as I have usually learned something or have gained some insight.
We are multi-dimensional people, from different backgrounds, cultures and points of view. For me that is the beauty of this board. I have grown as person because of this board - I have learned so much by coming here. Why do you want to take that away?
Absolutely we must keep the medical information and support threads of this board alive and active. That is what brought all of us here initially. But what KEPT me here was the diversity of the people, and the sense of community. If that were to disappear, I would leave.
Well, I have to agree with Lynda here. Squabbling directed at a specific person is neither productive or technically RA related (except the 2 people met here and have RA). In the latest case at least 2 newbies were on the same front page as the squabblees.
Pip
Hillhoney I am with you.. I think that if AI lost its sense of community I would leave as well. Bickering is what happens in "families" its going to happen no matter how hard you try for it to not. We are not going to get along 100% of the time. Im sorry its just not going to happen and if you think that is how it should be you are delusional.
I agree that no new poster should ever be bumped backward until all questions, avenues, and welcomes are attended to. Or even someone thats been here awhile and needs help for that matter. Support and experiences should be given priority over OT posts.
That being said I think it would make a very boring and depressing board if we never tell anything personal about ourselves and have some fun and laughter. OT posts make each one us a real person to each other and not just a fellow sufferer. We really get to know each other when we share our lives and humor with each other. Most of the OT fun is done late in the evening and through the late night so everyone in different time zones can join in. Many many people here have posted and said how much they enjoy the banter and laughter. Some even say it makes their day better when they are going through a battle. I know I feel better when I've had a good laugh. It gets your mind off your pain and is good for the soul
I guess I would be in Lynda's camp. I am trying to deal with life on its own turn and right now things are not going well, and I am sure I am not the only one that feels this way. My posts are only answered by a couple of people on this board, and right now I am not real cheery, but I also don't need DRAMA, and that is all this is! It is taking away from the relationships that are established on the board, and quite frankly, I no longer look forward to catching up with people because of the bickering.
I DO NOT mind the happenings of the day, and stuff, but the bickering about treatment and who's the TWIT of the DAY...Frankly my dears I don't give a "damn".
Just my thoughts and feelings, but we are going to make this board ineffective if it continues.
Squabbling should definitely be kept between the people doing the squabbling but I couldnt live if I didnt get a regular update about Joonie's flower bag toting brother
Having just got back from a very stressful situation it was great to log on and see what you've all been up to. The RA information/research links is invaluable but we're all human and most of us NEED the chat.
I agree that the chatting is good. I like knowing there are other people going through the same things as me aside from the common thread of RA that's here. I would miss reading the silly things. Sometimes those silly chat conversations make my day when I need it most.
Well, we could just have everyone write......OT, squabble.....and then thoseYeah that thread was already hijacked by the personal conspiracy agendas. All I did was point it out.
Can I post *ANYTHING* without you being an ass to me? Anything?
I don't know---uh, I offered a solution and you said no. I'm open to reasonable suggestions. Is your idea you just get to express your "opinions" on things and anyone who doesn't agree with you can't do the same?Here's a solution: The one thinks the other is a twit, the other thinks the one is an AP bully. So what? Move on.
Personally, (if anyone cares) I disagree with both. I hardly think anyone is going to change their course of treatment based on what a stranger on the internet told them. But I do think it's good info if you you want to know it. Further, I don't think Katie is anything close to a twit. I think she's funny, smart, encouraging and I'm glad I met her.
But whatever.....it's not my fight, so who cares what I think???
I'd like to make clear I have never called ariscowell a twit or any other derogatory name on this forum, although I did once accuse her of being a control freak. I'm not saying that to repeat it, but just to own it. That's the only time I have ever said anyhting remotely insulting to her that I can recall.Ya hear that Pip? You brought down the general tone of discourse.
Sounds pretty bad.
Pip
Yeah if anyone has any idea what Pip's talking about with this "past tense" stuff, please step up and say so. Because I don't even think Pip knows what it means at this point. I've already asked twice I think, and neither time I've gotten a straight answer. Which usually indicates "I don't know, I'm just trying to make you wonder and feel as if I know something you don't"
really I just wonder if the AP is going to your brain......
Well, I certainly hope so. Mycoplasmic infection has been implicated in schizophrenia, bi-polar, depression and Alzheimers. Like I want any of those to go with the one with my PRA.
You might look into AP seriously again. It could help you.
Pip
*sigh*Why not have a sub-forum for off-topic conversations? Have a newbie subforum. A drug-related subforum. An OT subforum. Etc.in a perfect world that would be great but seeing as how the mods are nowhere to be found we are kinda stuck the way it is. Everyone for some reason congregates in the RA board, thats how its been since ive been here, dont know if thats how its always been thoughyeah, ditto for me and I joined the board in may of '05, of course under another name that I no longer use. Because my password to it is saved on hubby's laptop and my old desktop and I cannot remember what it is for the life of me. Is this all about control? It seems like there are 2or3 that control all of the conversations no matter what the subject is. And they are the ones who drove away some members who really needed sympathy and advice. This whole thing started out because someone suggested using PM for trivia and of course the control freaks jumped in. And the beat goes on and on and on...........OMG, just noticed your signature! Too funny!
Pip
Okay, may I ask what the holy heck is going on????????I really enjoy and appreciate the threads that take off and get silly, too, sometimes. With all that we go thru, daily, don't you all think that some good belly-laughs are good for us? Actually, theraputic, as I see it.
Which brings us to disagreements about therapies. We may each have our own thoughts and feelings about RA therapies; that's the kind of thing that shows we are a varied group of people from around the world. We should be able to discuss these things without bickering like children. I think it would benefit everyone, if it was possible to stick to the subjects at hand, and try to put ourselves in each others positions. But a few people can't seem to do that without getting personal. Express yourself, of course! But it doesn't help anyone when we start this dysfunctional fighting over and over (and over!)
How does this make us look, when someone new signs on asking for help? They are frightened and sick and what they see are a bunch of childish posts, by people who have the very knowledge they are seeking. But that knowledge gets lost in all the bulls*it! We owe it to our new members to be there for them!
Please just think about it.
Be Well!
Nini
[QUOTE=Nini]How does this make us look, when someone new signs on asking for help? They are frightened and sick and what they see are a bunch of childish posts, by people who have the very knowledge they are seeking. But that knowledge gets lost in all the bulls*it! We owe it to our new members to be there for them!
Please just think about it.
[/QUOTE]
I totally agree - there is so much knowledge here and this place could grow much stronger.
I'd don't mind the occasional off-topic thread, but some of the silly, nonsense threads make this place look really bad.
And stop blaming it on the meds! Nothing ever changes here...it's all been said time after time, after time...When I first found this site, I was so excited! There was sooo much information and loads of people just waiting to encourage you, or so it seemed. After coming here for about a month the true colors of the board came through. Members were fighting other members over creating a new site "RASUSHI." Several people (including myself) suggested the same things that are being offered now. All that happened was more lashings of "who do you think you are, trying to control how things are done on this board?" Good luck trying to make changes... Right on Matthew and Lisa. I bet that the PM'S are burning up the wires right now and I hope that the BM'S are too.
As someone new I come here looking for answers and support. I gusse my post got lost in the fighting! Whats wrong with you guys? nothing wrong with a good fight, but to let it go on and on, post after post, come on grow up.
Sorry but you guys need to let it go.
Why PM when you can IM?
Ok... I am not going to say I am sorry for all my OT posts. But you can be rest assured that you will not see anymore from me. Not even my never ending OT post will be brought back up.
And I can blame it on the meds or lack of meds. Ya'll should have read some of my posts before I got on meds, quite scary if you ask me. I have re-read my posts from a couple of years ago, and all I could think to myself was ... "I posted that?" Yeah, it was that bad! Inflammation does affect the brain, and if it is not controlled it will have effects on it. Like it use to make me paranoid, or think crazier stuff.
But who cares right?
Well, I do not have much of anything informational to add to posts, and like I said I do not trust myself giving out advice, as to me ya'll's RA is totally different than my JRA. Might be because I do not remember what it was like to have that certain symptom, plus all these meds are still new to me. But who cares?
Yeah... I am happy to know that my life is not a total waste... at least I did provide some people who are in a lot of pain and gloomy a couple of laughs and brightened their "dark dreery day" just a little.
Well, I guess I better start posting about my own J/RA problems. And let my "true colors" show thru. Which are I am just a person who is depressed, in pain, with out of control J/RA, and chronic bladder infections. But who cares right?
I care i care joonie....so what if some peope are insensitive and think the board should go their way or no way. It is EVERYONES board. we started posting OT on the subject so everyone would be happy but now that we are doing that those same people dont want OT posts posted . Make up your f-ing mind already people. If you want a board to be run a certain way then by all means start your own dammed board. I careHI rusty! Welcome to AI. I noticed when you joined. I always notice when a new person joins.
Hope you stick around, I know we seem to fight alot, but what family does not have fighting? I know even my dysfunctional family fights, but that is because they care about each other, or was it that one of them took the others last beer?!
Don't you DARE stop your OT posts. I *love* them. You make me laugh on a daily basis. You bring up things that I haven't thought about in years.
I think it is fair that all the OT posts are labeled that way and for people who don't want to read them, they can pass them by.
Shame on those of you who make some feel like they shouldn't post. There is enough to go around people. No need to butt anyone out.
Phats
I know I make a lot of OT, and I do make an effort to bump them down, I always start off with my OT posts when I first get online so by the time I get off, other peoples posts are at the top. I make sure of that. If you ever watch me post, you would know that I do make an effort to bump important posts back to the top.
But I guess, I am the only freak on this board who notices people's posting methods.
But if you would have watched you would have noticed I always reply to mine first that way they get bumped back down when I reply to everyone else's posts that I can make a contribution to.
I am not about making people feel left out, or even needing attention. I could care less, if I was the center of attention. If I wanted to be center of everyone's attention I would just make a post about how my body is for that day and how I REALLY feel mentally and physically. But I would rather not drag people down with my J/RA problems, but make people feel better.
[QUOTE=Phatgirl2]I think it is fair that all the OT posts are labeled that way and for people who don't want to read them, they can pass them by.Shame on those of you who make some feel like they shouldn't post. There is enough to go around people. No need to butt anyone out.
Phats
[/QUOTE]
i dont think the older members are like that blessed. Its just there are some that no matter what you say they take offense to what you say and what opinoin you have
Again...it's all about the tone and approach of these certain older members. Maybe they need to take a class in communication, I don't know. But it seems to be the same ole people in these hijacked threads that think their opinions are the gospel. People need to speak their piece and move on. Not try to brain wash others into their way of thinking...there are so many different treatments and not all work for everyone. One that works wonders for you may make the next sick as a dog or worse. I think sometimes it is a control issue. These people have no control over their own situations so they try to control others. I just wish these people could ease up a little and let others decide for themselves.
I LOVE all the fun and coo-coo OT posts. So please Joonie...keep right on posting.
Joonie,
I care how you're feeling and I want to read your OT posts. They make me laugh most of the time. All of us need a good laugh once in a while. Please don't stop posting them. I for one would miss them and you a great deal.
Oh Joonie, I hope you didn't think that I meant I wanted the OT posts to stop! If that's how my post was interpreted, I'm so sorry!
I was trying to say that I just hate this fighting that goes on and on. It was NOT anything against you, I promise. Your posts always bring a smile to my day. And Katie, too.
I guess I should have mentioned names, but I really didn't want to do that.
I look forward to the posts that get silly. I really do. We need to laugh sometimes, and I love that part. All I meant was that the fighting is, once again, getting out of control. I nearly stopped posting last time, because of the fighting.
But I certainly did not mean to imply that I don't like the OT posts. If I didn't, I just wouldn't read them. I just want to make sure that when someone reaches out for help, their questions and the answers do not get lost in fighting. That's all I meant.
Please read over my post again. The way it was answered made it clear that it was misinterpreted by some.
Take care and please keep writing!
Hugs,
Nini
Ok enough. I am posting.
I really do gross myself out when I look at the front page of the board, and most of them are started by me. I try to cut down, but it is hard to not share my wealth of non-informational knowledge, but my screwed up brain.
So, how about I just cut down on it? Nice compremise for all the voices in my head.
Pedro
RuePaul
Eddie
Denise
Awww... man you used the "M" word for me. Now common sense I hope I have, but sometimes that common sense goes out the window.... ok leaks out of my right ear while I am sleeping.
But here goes the "M" out the window too, must live up to my standards which seem to be no better than a high schooler.
Anyways... I do not feel I am doing anything wrong. I just realize I have too much time on my crippled hands to post that much, and that I have a lot "mental" problems (see imaginary friend).
If it was not for most us that post habitually, this board would probably die, or even at the most be boring. Kinda like the AF board.... can we say BORING?!
But hey to keep the fighting thread going, is not good either. But does anyone care? NOOOOOooooo! They just keep bumping it to the top. I say fight and make up, if making up fails there are other boards, that seem to be able to accomadate you in being fight free and a BIG GAY FAMILY!!
We have had excellent success in using OT for Off Topic threads. Everyone quickly implemented this and I think it is working well. I think it should be continued.
Since the evening chat seems to be appreciated by many, but not by all, perhaps we can just start a chat thread, for silly, pointless chatter. Then folks who don't like it or don't participate can avoid it. I don't know if it would be something we would start new each evening, or if people like have the whole history of the chatting on one thread - what do you think?
I will make it a point to not get chatty or off topic in other threads, and if I have something silly to say I'll say it on the chat thread. Perhaps we can all make an effort to do this, so no one feels hurt that their question didn't get answered, because the thread took off in a completely different direction and never came back. I think if we work on it, it will be a solution for everyone.
Members who are frustrated by the board "being controlled" by a select few have some responsibility here too. You need to step up and participate more. Start threads that are on topics you want discussed. Part of the reason things get "taken over" is simply there are a small group who are more active than others. That's not their fault - it simply means They Need This Board.
Disagreements about therapies, or points of view are a good thing, if done properly. Argue points, discuss feelings, but don't get personal. We need to be able to discuss differences of opinion, because that's how we learn - and that's how we accept the fact that not everyone is going to agree with us. And don't start a special thread addressed to one person you want to argue with. If it has gotten to that point, use PM, please!
And members who hang back and just jump in at the first sign of drama, shame on you. It's amazing how active the board became when there was high drama. It was like feeding time at the zoo!
Okay, there you have my thoughts and suggestions - have at folks. But try not to attack me or anyone else when you weigh in on your positions. Thanks!
What if we started a new one, and dated it each day? So that we don't have some monster thread that no one can keep up with? And when we start a new day, the old thread will get bumped to another page and disapear?
So the topic would look like this: Chat for 8-18-07
that sounds like a good ideaAnother idea to this........what if we kept the "chat" thread in the JRA forum? There are virtually NO posts there, and typically it's Joonie and I that rattle off the most........so we wouldn't be THAT out of place.....Anything has got to be better then what is going on it is just getting ridiculous. Some people will beat a dead horse forever. meme
I started a chat thread in the JRA section............anyone whos bored and wants to join is more than welcome to!!!
What pic I would love to see it since I am a sick demeted person hehehehehehe
Okay I can't get to it from work, sorry!!!! But it was funny, I promise.....
Hillhoney
We need other suggestions so people speak up!.This message board is the highlight of my evening, it's where I come to relax and unwind and share my day with the all the friends I meet
I'm willing to do what it takes to keep this board a happy, informative place to visit. How about an anything goes thread like someone suggested, so read at your own risk
Joonie and Katie think more on how we can do this and the majority be satisfied. Anyone?? How bout a group HUG((((()))))?
Well I started a chat thread in the JRA forum.........let's see how well that works out for us, and go from there.
I know I'm guily of cussing, and I'm not going to lie, I'm a little offended that just because someone who's reading and not even contributing has an issue with it, that I have to stop. Most of the time I try to censor myself, but I have a very "colorful" vocabulary. As stupid as it may sound to some of you, that's part of who I am. I get it from my gramma I guess. I will not censor real life stories, except to take letters out of the word - if I changed the word it would ruin most of my stories. If I'm just ranting to rant, I will refrain from using cuss words.
I hope that's fair enough, cause that's what I'm doing.
My feeling is that the chat does not belong on the JRA. It will be missed by many there. This is where people come, and I am hoping more and more people will join in on the chat.
IMHO
Karen
Well I can start one here...........I agree with you Hillhoney. I haven't been around much because of several things but the chat room sounds good but................once again, sorry Katie, I luv ya, but, this was Hillhoneys idea, and would work better on the RA page, unless you don't want many people to join in. Give somebody else that may want to think about alternatives a chance to wiork on their idea before you take off with it, OK?
Please don't be upset, Katie, try to understand....oh and I love your stories colorful language and all.
Hey, Katie guess I was typing when you were. Good you can make one on here.
So, let me get this straight....
you want this board to be strictly RA, nothing fun, uplifting. You just want medical related information and everything else should be PM'd?
I'm sorry, but that isn't the way this board works. I hope it never goes to that. We are HUMANS with RA. For most of us, it doesn't define who we are. We all have significant issues surrounding our RA, but it isn't who we are.
The chit-chat is what keeps some of us going thru the days/weeks.
Phats
[/QUOTE]
I have to agree with phats...but only in a limited way. When the conversation BECOMES only 2 people arguing or chatting, then the PM function should be used. I am here to get uplifted AND to talk about RA and how it works and doesn't work for others. I just want a better quality of life.
OK if Katie is willing to compromise then we ALL should be. Yeah I think we should keep it here too Karen. That way we can answer posts of a different sort and still keep up.
Katy you don't offend me at all I'm just thinking of others that may join us. Don't ever change, you or Joonie either one. I love you guys
Ummmm.... yeah your post is blank Now & Then... which is probably a good thing considering.... *slaps Eddie off her shoulder*
Ok, I am glad I did not get banished to the cold, dark, and creepy basement again. I mean it REALLY is lonely and scarey down there, and well, if the rats ate Katie, then I would only have PRED (Predro, RuePaul, Eddie, and Denise) to keep me from the creaky doors and howling wind and the man eating rats! OH... I know there IS more than just MAN EATING RATS down there.... it is like the Blair With Project... it is SCAREY I tells YA!!!
Joonie,
You crack me up! I'm not going in that basement. Man eating rats, blair witch project. No Thank You!
Who the flip is Eddie
One of Joonie's PRED personalities, I think. Joonie, am I following this?
When I was a kid, I used to be afraid of the attic. I swore there were people living up there that no one knew about.
Sometimes, PRED makes me say and do things that are not the wisest of choices and my normal actions. They are the little voices in my head that ... well you get the picture.
Edited because I forgot my T.
I can kinda surpress it at 5mg, but not all the time. I love pred!
Sometimes my language isn't text book English and I use words with asteriks that some individuals find are a sin. As I said on an earlier post, I won't be censored. I seldom use those words, but sometimes a post warrants a stronger word. I live with everyone's opinions and the mean posts - I guess people can live with a curse word here and there from me. I'd much rather read a thoughtful post that may have a curse word in it than a post attacking another person or therapy.
Thanks, Hillhoney for your thoughful post. Hopefully, I'll start some topics and keep things rolling. Lindy
My niece has been on pred for years and she still hasn't been diagnosed with RA. I can't believe it. Right now she's being weaned off it but she's very nervous about it because it was the only thing that really helped her.
I hope the weaning goes smooth for her, and they find something to take its place.
AMEN SISTA LINDY!!!
Me too Joonie. She's had such a hard time with this. Poor kid didn't know what to do with herself.
You guys are too much. I want to let you all know that pred mainly affects women that way, but not men so much. My multiple personalities are all natural. hahahahahahaha
Joonie and Steph had me cracking up!
Oh I know a couple of men that pred made act like us women while on pred. Predro, RuePaul, Eddie, and Denise... were inspired by a man, that took pred. Yeah... I miss my old RA cyber friends, but I got new ones now.You ain't seen nuttin yet, wait til Joonie and Katie get on a roll, you'll bust a gut
She's probably cleaning the toilet again
Oh No! Did her kitty drink out of the toilet again?!
Well... not really if they follow the ... "If its yellow let it mellow, if its brown flush it down" rule.
LOLOLOL Joonie!! No Justin is sick at his stomach, but I never heard of your little proverb LMBO
Oh my proverb is from the movie "Meet the Fockers", it is a good, funny comdey.
He is sitting here next to me, in the bed, watching Home Movies (the cartoon) And asking me what we're going to eat for dinner. [QUOTE=joonie]Oh No! Did her kitty drink out of the toilet again?!
Well... not really if they follow the ... "If its yellow let it mellow, if its brown flush it down" rule.
[/QUOTE]
Thats just not right. You all are not right in the head, you know.
Yeah Justin
Now would be the time for the Oodles of noodles, nothing heavy for his tummy
I wear my craziness proudly. After all it is a family tradition. Oh great, now Shannon aka kelseysmommy is going to bust out singing on the board again.
What happened to using the chat thread!?!?!?! Ummmm.... I do not know.... we got caught up in the heat of chattering LMAO! Sorry, my bad! I am blaming it on PRED. Yep, that is my story and I am sticking to it. Ok... off to the chat thread. *hangs head in disappointment*
Me too,eeekkks
Giggle, I was going to say something, but I was too chicken!Yeah you are. Now take it to the chat thread!!!!!